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Halloween and 2020 the year from Hell

Posted 10-31-2020 at 10:25 PM by Discoteque
Updated 10-31-2020 at 10:29 PM by Discoteque

WOW. I come here so seldom, I'm actually surprised and impressed that this site is still kicking! Will have to poke around the place a bit to see what's shakin. Have already seen a couple of names from the past that are still around, good to know.

I guess I could post this somewhere else on the forum? But if anyone happens to read this, just know I'm saying "hi" from beyond. Warning: this is a brain dump!

So it's Halloween night 2020 of the year from HELL! I'm sure I don't need to elaborate on things that have already been said about the great armpit that 2020 became early on. And the ride ain't over yet! Of course my employer kicked us all out mid-March, and then a couple of months later, outright forbade anyone to even venture back into the office, even if it was an emergency (like my modem going down for several days--good times).

Since then, I've been pretty much alone for the last 8 months. As I'm an introvert, you'd think that would be a good thing, but nope. Choosing to be by myself is very different than being forced to remain alone for weeks and then months on end. Having struggled with depression much of my adult life, it came roaring back again, so having no stimulation, no human interaction, a too-small apartment, not seeing friends or family, not going out anywhere, being forced to wear those STUPID MASKS...well the walls have definitely been closing in. Between covid and politics, my head's about to essplode. The holidays are nigh, but I could really care less.

Add to that being 1,000 mi away from family, with aging parents and a mother that has dementia, and it's been extremely challenging to simply "maintain" over these many months. I used to think I was so strong, but man oh man, I'm discovering I'm as weak as a kitten. While i'm thankful that I'm still employed (I work at an "essential" co., tho believe me, the world could do without), most days it's all I can do to just get out of bed and get vertical. Then of course I have to be "on" during work hours. Gah. I feel like a fraud compared to my coworkers who all seem to be such shiny happy people.

When I got a recent email that ATYCLB was turning 20, I was like: WUT. Has it really been 20 years? I remember it came out just before 9/11, and I also remember driving around town in an absolute daze after that, listening to all those songs, especially "New York," knowing that the world had changed dramatically forever. So to me, that's always been the "9/11 Album." But aside from the 2001 Elevation tour (and getting to meet all the Interferencers), that was the last U2 album I paid any attention to. Over the years, my tastes changed, I changed jobs twice, was laid off for all of 2017 (which is how I ended up with my current job), and over the years really got into talk radio/YouTube vids/podcasts and such, with little desire for music. So I literally know next to nothing about what U2 has done since ATYCLB, honestly.

But a couple weeks ago—U2 to the rescue!—I went back to the beginning, Boy, and worked my way up, cracking open A-B, Pop, and Europa again especially, since those are my fave U2 albums. U2 was in their prime. I was in my prime. 90s music was amazing (loved the whole Madchester thing), there was a lot of great stuff going on during that decade. So again I say WOW. Those songs. Those videos. Those B-sides. THOSE LYRICS. Bono's lyrics seem to have taken on much deeper meaning to me now that it's 20 years on. Listening to those songs was all like wrapping a big snuggly, comforting, U2ey blanket around me. Maybe I could hide inside this blanket for awhile and forget the world (BE the song inside my head?). Between U2's music and watching LOTS of comedy videos recently (because I had literally forgotten how to laugh over the past few months--Tim Hawkins & John Crist, anyone?), it seems to have lifted my spirits quite a bit, enough to make me think "I can do the thing"...at least for the foreseeable future. I know there's hope, even in the most dire of times. I just have to remember to turn to the One who holds my life in His hands, and remember that He is in control, no matter what.

p.s. I must admit how much I missed all these fun emojis; I'm always anticipating that ALL emojis on line be animated just like I-F's emojis, and I am continually disappointed when they are not!
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