***The Diary Of 16 Year Old "Elizabeth"****
Dear Diary,
Sunday. I hate Sundays. It's still part of the weekend, yet you can't enjoy it because you know you have to go to school the next day. I usually sleep until 11 in the morning anyway though...might as well spend nearly half of the day in bed.
When I woke up, there was a note from my dad saying that he had gone to church. I was surprised. I know that when my dad was a kid, he had to go to church every day. He went before school every morning and then on the weekends as well. However, we haven't gone in such a long time. He's probably saying another prayer for Mom to come home.
Speaking of Mom, I saw her yesterday. She took me out to dinner and a movie. We had so much fun! We even had a "salad fight" at dinner. I hit her in the eye with an olive.
Kim spent the night at my house on Friday night. She didn't mention Tom ONCE the whole night! I was in utter disbelief! It was just like old times. We ate pizza and Doritos and drank Coke until we thought we'd be sick! Hey...it's tradition! We did our usual gossip on people at school too. That's another thing about Kim...she is not the gossip type...that's just too "girlie" for her. Everybody knows her at school as the camoflague wearin', steel toe boot stompin', mechanical/artistic tough girl (with a dash of hippie thrown in). However, when she and I are together, it's okay for her to be kind of "girlie". I even got some eye shadow on her...she looked hideous (mostly due to the fact that I suck at applying eye make up)! We got a good laugh out of it.
However...our evening took an unexpected turn...
I had run to the kitchen to get more Coke. When I got back to my room, Kim was suddenly silent, looking at the floor.
I threw one of my stuffed animals at her. "Get up, woman!" I yelled at her, laughing.
When she looked at me, she had tears running down her face.
Let me tell you, Diary...I have known Kim since I was in first grade. This girl has seen me cry on practically a daily basis (I cry very easily). However, I have NEVER seen her cry...
I didn't know what to say.
"Kim...what's wrong?" I went to hug her, but I stopped. Kim isn't the sentimental, mushy type...she rarely hugged me...I'm not sure she has ever hugged me actually...so I didn't know what to do. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life.
Whenever I cry, Kim always says, "Liz, please don't cry...because you know I never know what to say when you cry...so don't do that to me!" Then she smiles at me, and I usually crack up because she says it so cute...it's like her "catch phrase" when I cry.
I didn't feel right doing that to her though.
Finally, I just went with my gut instinct, and I hugged her so tight. I waited for her to push me away and kick me in the shin with her steel toed boot, like she always does when I tick her off.
But she didn't.
She cried into my shoulder.
And then she said the last words I would have expected to come out of her mouth.
"I wish I was dead."
The way she said it...she sounded like a scared, pathetic, little girl. I was floored. I had no clue what to say...what could I say without being a hypocrite???
Finally, I whispered the first thing that came to mind.
"Me too."
One tear...
Then another...another...
We hugged each other and cried for what seemed like hours. We eventually crawled into our "beds" (our mess of blankets on the floor) and slept. Come morning, not another word was said about it.
But now what?
I honestly don't know.
I don't even know what else to write.
Goodnight, Diary.
"Elizabeth"
[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 10-28-2001).]
Dear Diary,
Sunday. I hate Sundays. It's still part of the weekend, yet you can't enjoy it because you know you have to go to school the next day. I usually sleep until 11 in the morning anyway though...might as well spend nearly half of the day in bed.
When I woke up, there was a note from my dad saying that he had gone to church. I was surprised. I know that when my dad was a kid, he had to go to church every day. He went before school every morning and then on the weekends as well. However, we haven't gone in such a long time. He's probably saying another prayer for Mom to come home.
Speaking of Mom, I saw her yesterday. She took me out to dinner and a movie. We had so much fun! We even had a "salad fight" at dinner. I hit her in the eye with an olive.
Kim spent the night at my house on Friday night. She didn't mention Tom ONCE the whole night! I was in utter disbelief! It was just like old times. We ate pizza and Doritos and drank Coke until we thought we'd be sick! Hey...it's tradition! We did our usual gossip on people at school too. That's another thing about Kim...she is not the gossip type...that's just too "girlie" for her. Everybody knows her at school as the camoflague wearin', steel toe boot stompin', mechanical/artistic tough girl (with a dash of hippie thrown in). However, when she and I are together, it's okay for her to be kind of "girlie". I even got some eye shadow on her...she looked hideous (mostly due to the fact that I suck at applying eye make up)! We got a good laugh out of it.
However...our evening took an unexpected turn...
I had run to the kitchen to get more Coke. When I got back to my room, Kim was suddenly silent, looking at the floor.
I threw one of my stuffed animals at her. "Get up, woman!" I yelled at her, laughing.
When she looked at me, she had tears running down her face.
Let me tell you, Diary...I have known Kim since I was in first grade. This girl has seen me cry on practically a daily basis (I cry very easily). However, I have NEVER seen her cry...
I didn't know what to say.
"Kim...what's wrong?" I went to hug her, but I stopped. Kim isn't the sentimental, mushy type...she rarely hugged me...I'm not sure she has ever hugged me actually...so I didn't know what to do. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life.
Whenever I cry, Kim always says, "Liz, please don't cry...because you know I never know what to say when you cry...so don't do that to me!" Then she smiles at me, and I usually crack up because she says it so cute...it's like her "catch phrase" when I cry.
I didn't feel right doing that to her though.
Finally, I just went with my gut instinct, and I hugged her so tight. I waited for her to push me away and kick me in the shin with her steel toed boot, like she always does when I tick her off.
But she didn't.
She cried into my shoulder.
And then she said the last words I would have expected to come out of her mouth.
"I wish I was dead."
The way she said it...she sounded like a scared, pathetic, little girl. I was floored. I had no clue what to say...what could I say without being a hypocrite???
Finally, I whispered the first thing that came to mind.
"Me too."
One tear...
Then another...another...
We hugged each other and cried for what seemed like hours. We eventually crawled into our "beds" (our mess of blankets on the floor) and slept. Come morning, not another word was said about it.
But now what?
I honestly don't know.
I don't even know what else to write.
Goodnight, Diary.
"Elizabeth"
[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 10-28-2001).]
