Note: The following pertains personal inquiries, questions and comments. Some about my significant other, and myself. If you are here to criticize, then press the 'back' button.
You know a few of my threads, and they sound mainly depressing and controlling. However, that isn't the factor. My GF sat me down at one point and told me her past, and I was horrified. I had never heard of a past that was as horrible as that. I don't think of my past as glamourous, but certainly better than what she was raised in.
Since she told me that, I became on the offensive, and started to screen and question certain things. All I knew is that I wanted to protect her from getting hurt, and no expense, mainly pacifist, but should it get deeper -- my own self would be the defender.
She told me in late October, and since then I haven't been able to get rid of it all from my brain. Chunks of words and images constantly sprew in my brain, and I'm haunted. I've told her that I never should have asked, yet she decided to tell me -- perhaps it was because of true love and security -- not that of jealousy, or ego.
I found myself with a lot of obstacles, and still find them laid out infront of me. Sometimes hidden ones, and I know there are ahead of me. And what's the hardest part for me is how I'll deal with all this. Perhaps I'm so concentrated on making my own little world, inside of a bubble, that I'm forgetting that we're going to make a life together.
So what do I do -- did my life become changed because she told me about her past, or was it for the feelings that I had for her later that made me want to help her? I'm evaluating what I do now, and perhaps I took her away from living life -- and only tried to play it safe. But in the end, I was only keeping myself safe and not thinking of her.
You know a few of my threads, and they sound mainly depressing and controlling. However, that isn't the factor. My GF sat me down at one point and told me her past, and I was horrified. I had never heard of a past that was as horrible as that. I don't think of my past as glamourous, but certainly better than what she was raised in.
Since she told me that, I became on the offensive, and started to screen and question certain things. All I knew is that I wanted to protect her from getting hurt, and no expense, mainly pacifist, but should it get deeper -- my own self would be the defender.
She told me in late October, and since then I haven't been able to get rid of it all from my brain. Chunks of words and images constantly sprew in my brain, and I'm haunted. I've told her that I never should have asked, yet she decided to tell me -- perhaps it was because of true love and security -- not that of jealousy, or ego.
I found myself with a lot of obstacles, and still find them laid out infront of me. Sometimes hidden ones, and I know there are ahead of me. And what's the hardest part for me is how I'll deal with all this. Perhaps I'm so concentrated on making my own little world, inside of a bubble, that I'm forgetting that we're going to make a life together.
So what do I do -- did my life become changed because she told me about her past, or was it for the feelings that I had for her later that made me want to help her? I'm evaluating what I do now, and perhaps I took her away from living life -- and only tried to play it safe. But in the end, I was only keeping myself safe and not thinking of her.
