The_acrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
First off, I've been happily married for almost 6 years now, and we have 2 children now, and I honestly couldn't be happier to have the family I have right now. I truly love my wife, and I know there is nobody better suited for me in this entire world. I would never cheat on my wife.
But before my wife, I had an on/off relationship with a girl from my high school that began the summer after graduation and lasted for about 5 years. Her college was 4 hours away, so we couldn't have a "REAL RELATIONSHIP", but I'd see her on breaks or holidays. Sometimes I'd be seeing somebody else, sometimes she would, but we always ended up coming back around to each other. We had what I thought was love, but now I realize it was probably just an idea I was in love with more than a person.
5 years later, we were done with college, and I was firmly established in a career and bought a house in the area we grew up in. She didn't want to move back here, and moved to a large city instead for her career. She asked me one time if I'd be willing to drop everything and go with her. I basically told her I can't leave what I've got going on here, and she said she couldn't stay, and we parted ways. We agreed that although we loved each other, it was never going to work. We tried being friends, but it was too difficult, and we eventually just quit talking. A couple years later I met my wife, which lead me to where I'm at now. I haven't spoken to this girl in 7 years now, save for the occasional "like" or "Happy birthday" on facebook. I honestly don't think about her all that much, and have no real desire to contact her.
Here's where the story takes a strange turn; A couple years ago, a friend told me that he thinks she slept with my brother a couple years after we ended things. Then he got real quiet, like he thought he had mentioned something he wasn't supposed to. That kind of did my head in, I gotta be honest. The part that hurts is that there was this conspiracy to cover it up and keep it behind my back. I really don't care if they did, I don't even know if it's true. But for some reason, that really set something off.
I now find that I have dreams about her quite often. They are never romantic. These dreams are usually about me trying to find her, to apologize to her for something, trying to introduce her to my family, to try to be friends again. I'll see her randomly somewhere and be really happy about it. I seem like I'm trying to show her that I've moved on and have a happy life now, but that I still want her to be a part of it somehow. Then I wake up, and the logical side of my brain kicks in and says "that's a terrible idea. TERRIBLE!"
7 years, still dreaming. It makes me feel really pathetic, because I have a loyal wife who I love more than anything laying in the bed right next to me while I'm having these dreams. Anybody have any insight to this? I kinda needed to get this out there, I pretty much have nobody in my personal life I can talk to about this... or I'm just to embarassed to.
But before my wife, I had an on/off relationship with a girl from my high school that began the summer after graduation and lasted for about 5 years. Her college was 4 hours away, so we couldn't have a "REAL RELATIONSHIP", but I'd see her on breaks or holidays. Sometimes I'd be seeing somebody else, sometimes she would, but we always ended up coming back around to each other. We had what I thought was love, but now I realize it was probably just an idea I was in love with more than a person.
5 years later, we were done with college, and I was firmly established in a career and bought a house in the area we grew up in. She didn't want to move back here, and moved to a large city instead for her career. She asked me one time if I'd be willing to drop everything and go with her. I basically told her I can't leave what I've got going on here, and she said she couldn't stay, and we parted ways. We agreed that although we loved each other, it was never going to work. We tried being friends, but it was too difficult, and we eventually just quit talking. A couple years later I met my wife, which lead me to where I'm at now. I haven't spoken to this girl in 7 years now, save for the occasional "like" or "Happy birthday" on facebook. I honestly don't think about her all that much, and have no real desire to contact her.
Here's where the story takes a strange turn; A couple years ago, a friend told me that he thinks she slept with my brother a couple years after we ended things. Then he got real quiet, like he thought he had mentioned something he wasn't supposed to. That kind of did my head in, I gotta be honest. The part that hurts is that there was this conspiracy to cover it up and keep it behind my back. I really don't care if they did, I don't even know if it's true. But for some reason, that really set something off.
I now find that I have dreams about her quite often. They are never romantic. These dreams are usually about me trying to find her, to apologize to her for something, trying to introduce her to my family, to try to be friends again. I'll see her randomly somewhere and be really happy about it. I seem like I'm trying to show her that I've moved on and have a happy life now, but that I still want her to be a part of it somehow. Then I wake up, and the logical side of my brain kicks in and says "that's a terrible idea. TERRIBLE!"
7 years, still dreaming. It makes me feel really pathetic, because I have a loyal wife who I love more than anything laying in the bed right next to me while I'm having these dreams. Anybody have any insight to this? I kinda needed to get this out there, I pretty much have nobody in my personal life I can talk to about this... or I'm just to embarassed to.
