St Mary’s Butts, Reading, England Superthread

[LemonMelon]

"I want the auction to out-raise previous years."

Icarus ascending towards the sun.

 

[bono_212]

If you don't aim high, you'll never be disappointed.

 

[LemonMelon]

The Christmas auction theme is Winter Wonderland.

Love interest #2 blew everyone away with that.

 

[LemonMelon]

Another man in a jacket with a square jaw setting off an orchestral flourish.

Must be love interest #3.

 

[bono_212]

Two alpha males fighting over the Mr. Darcy female lead. Yep. This is clearly a gender flipped pride and prejudice.

 

[LemonMelon]

"Ooh! Things are getting good!" asserts star of Moonlight and Mistletoe and Hallmark host Candace Cameron.

 

[bono_212]

Another man in a jacket with a square jaw setting off an orchestral flourish.

Must be love interest #3.

I know they did such a good job of introducing him the first time, but that was her fiance.

 

[bono_212]

Oh guys mistletoe! Now Ms. Darcy and Male Bennant have to kiss.

 

[LemonMelon]

I know they did such a good job of introducing him the first time, but that was her fiance.

There are more nondescript white men running around than on 4chan. I'm losing track of them all.

 

[LemonMelon]

Hallmark spiked the actors' drinks with xanax to get this level of pleasant drowsiness out of their closers peflrformances.

 

[LemonMelon]

Woman make Christmas tree fall down.

Man need save woman from herself.

Me laugh.

 

[bono_212]

If she weren't so PROUD she wouldn't have knocked over those trees! Boom. Pride and Prejudice.

 

[LemonMelon]

The square jawed white man with an expensive coat and his own restaurant is making this movie into a class war. He's insecure about his lack of wealth.

 

[bono_212]

Because he is PREJUDICED! Boom. Pride and Prejudice.

 

[LemonMelon]

I thought they went to a funeral, but looked up and it turned out to just be a Christmas party full of monastic carolers.

It's like they made a bet that they could make a movie where no one has fun.

 

[LemonMelon]

Everyone is so quiet and lifeless. It's like the director's baby was on set and no one wanted to wake it up.

Or maybe I'm just projecting my own life.

 

[bono_212]

They hyped up those carolers for the entire movie and it was two guys, quietly singing out of tune.

 

[LemonMelon]

Siiiillleeeeennnttt niii...zzzzz..

 

[LemonMelon]

Oh no, the auction didn't sell enough tickets.

Live Nation scalpers to the rescue!

 

[bono_212]

This choir of children is WAY better than the Pemberly Carolers.

 

[LemonMelon]

Much like his father Donald Trump, square jawed white love interest waived his salary to save the day.

 

[LemonMelon]

I've never read Pride and Prejudice, but I think there was a love triangle involved, not three people that only occasionally acknowledge each other's existence.

 

[bono_212]

Well, at least she isn't putting her job completely above family. But it's a little meaningless knowing that even if she loses her job, it doesn't matter since she's still set to inherent her dad's billion dollar business.

 

[LemonMelon]

#PieClearsTheMind

 

[bono_212]

I've never read Pride and Prejudice, but I think there was a love triangle involved, not three people that only occasionally acknowledge each other's existence.

Kiiiiiiiiinda. It's more like, there's just a lot more romantic entanglements. This triangle isn't even really a triangle since her and her fiance are broken up.

 

[LemonMelon]

Hallmark with the nostalgic clipshow commercial bumps from their old Christmas movies

Remember that one from 2014?

 

[bono_212]

And they ALL involve Candace Cameron Bure.

 

[LemonMelon]

I think we need to pull the plug on this corpse of a movie and watch A Shoe Addict's Christmas instead.

 

[LemonMelon]

And they ALL involve Candace Cameron Bure.

I remember A Cocaine Addict's Christmas starring Tom Arnold.

 

[bono_212]

I remember A Cocaine Addict's Christmas starring Tom Arnold.

The other movie he was in that year was even worse with his obvious cocaine addiction. Need to find that one again. I think he owned a ski lodge?