To Be or Not To Be Geneorus... At the End of a Show

[doctorwho]

The unusual title of this thread comes from this very real example I experienced Sunday night in Chicago.

I was in the Red Zone. A flirtatious, but height-challenged, young lady was next to me. She flirted with all the men hoping to get a piggy back ride (succeeding in getting one for one song). Her high-heeled shoes were killing her and as we were all standing, it was a bit tough for her to see without them. Fortunately, she was close and there was the huge screen. Plus, all four band members walked right by us (several times for some of them), so it's not as if her view was obstructed all night.

Still, by the end of the night, with only two songs remaining, she wanted to be by the rail. We were already close, so she just inched up a bit more and kindly asked two people if she could squeeze in or stand by the rail for a song. This couple (or apparent man and woman couple) flat out stated "no" and wouldn't let her in, even for a moment.

The poor girl came back crying. She said she asked nicely and they refused.

This got me wondering. First, when one asks a favor of anyone - stranger or friend - that person has a right to say "no". Just because we ask it doesn't mean we will get our way (otherwise, we'd all be asking our bosses for raises every day!). Second, asking someone to give up their spot is like asking someone to give up their seat. It's almost like saying, "Hey, you've had that nice seat long enough - now move and let me enjoy it." In other words, while she felt they were rude to say "no", it could be that she was the rude one.

That said, the flip side is that this is Red Zone. There was no "waiting outside all day" nonsense. Given the spirit of that section, one would think moving aside for a few moments wouldn't be that bad. Additionally, it was the end of the night, so at worst, they would be a tiny bit back for a song. And they'd really make the night for someone else by being so generous.

I'm torn on this issue. At Vertigo I didn't even have a spot by the rail, yet was asked to move by height-challenged people all night. For that spot, I did wait outside all day, so it's too bad they didn't. I was offended. But I was asked to move at the beginning of the show, not at the end.

So what would you do? Any comments? I posted a poll and am curious.

 

[corianderstem]

I know what I'd do for part of that equation: not wear high heels to a rock concert. I couldn't believe how many women I saw wearing ridiculous shoes. On the walk back to the Loop on Saturday, one was carrying her heels and walking barefoot. No thank you.

I would probably let someone in front of me for a few songs at the end of a show, unless they'd been obnoxious or rude leading up to it.

At the first Seattle Vertigo show, I was about 3 heads back from the outer rail and made friends with a really nice guy who was in front of me. For the encore, he switched places with me (an unprompted, unrequested gesture). I suppose I should pay that forward at some point in my GA life.

 

[waynetravis]

There was a short girl behind me when we was watching the crew prepare the stage for U2. We was near the front so we had a good view anyway.

I moved a bit to the right and let her stand next to me so she could see a bit more

 

[Chrisedge]

With 2 songs left? Sure...

I have told short bitches off though that pushed their way upfront moments before a show, when I had been on a rail for close to 2 hours already.

 

[Liesje]

I said "no, but...". Generally, no, b/c generally being on the rail involved me being in line for a minimum of 14 hours. I gave up my rail spot to Phil, but he is my husband so personal space rules don't necessarily apply. There was more room if I stood in front of him rather than us all being on the rail, and when the band came around we pivoted so I was on the rail again. I might let a kid stand in front of me, or someone with some injury or condition beyond their control (like, not wearing heels or not lining up).

Likewise I would not expect anyone else to move for me.

Last tour in St. Louis I offered a kid $40 to give me his spot on the rail and he declined. Fair enough, can't hurt to ask

 

[chels82]

I am at the short end of the spectrum but I always wait in line all day if I want to see, it's only fair and I would never ask someone to give me a spot up front. The only thing that really irks me is that when someone who clearly wasn't out there all day and is 6 feet tall plants themselves right in front of me without a care in the world. The "lovely" lady got elbowed in the back many times, so I guess it was worth it.

If it was a little kid who was shorter than me, I'm sure I'd let them squeeze through for a song but really, everyone can see over my head so probably not.

 

[snowbunny00774]

Nein.

 

[flick]

I wouldn't give up my space. I'm just under 5'2 and I accept what I get. I've spent hours queuing for gigs to get a good spot because I know I won't be able to be close to the front and see anything if I don't. So it's that or stand back and take the show in from there. I accept that just because i'm short doesn't make me any more entitled to be at the front than anyone else.

 

[Diemen]

I opted for no, but. The exceptions are fairly wide, seeing as I most likely will still be able to see just fine behind them. The no only comes in if they're being pushy/bitchy about it.

 

[Got Philk?]

One time a girl wearing very little clothing came up to me and said, "you have to let me in front. Bono will pull me up on stage because he's a blonde hair big boob guy."

I'll let you guess whether or not I let her in front of me.

I voted no, but I'll make exceptions as I am 6'4" in shoes.

 

[BonosBaby12]

Since Im so short I have to say no. Though the 1st time I did GA a guy let me in front of him. He saw me move to the right to look past him. Asked if I would like to move in front of him and I declined. Surprisingly he insisted that I take him up on his offer. Said he was taller and that it was clear that I couldn't see over him. Moved me from 3rd row to the 2nd row and the view was much better! But I would never ask anyone to move that's just rude. Would make an exception for a child if I don't feel anyone is being pushy or bitchy about it.

 

[Liesje]

I'll let you guess whether or not I let her in front of me.

I believe he said, "Bono likes brunettes and he's not a boob man." Bitch didn't know how to respond and moved on to the next guy on the rail.

 

[Diemen]

I believe he said, "Bono likes brunettes and he's not a boob man." Bitch didn't know how to respond and moved on to the next guy on the rail.

Awesome.

I love it anytime "the pretty people" get cut down a peg.

 

[doctorwho]

Interesting responses! Love the "blond with boobs" comments.

I tried to cheer her up, but she was really distraught. But even I wondered if I would let her in. She claimed she asked nicely, but just because someone asks, it doesn't mean they'll get their way. That said, it was the end of the show, and the couple could have been nice.

Regardless, I tried to get her to focus on the positive. She had a great spot all night. She was really close with nice people and U2 members walked by us several times (literally right by). We weren't on the rail, but it's not as if being on the rail means we get to touch the band (one is just a tiny bit closer).

So I'm torn. In truth, I think if I'm on the rail after waiting, I'm not moving. If I'm tired or ready to sit (and there are seats in the Red Zone - so one advantage), then I would give up my spot. Otherwise, forget it - I'm not moving! LOL!

 

[maycocksean]

I would but then being on the rail isn't super vital to me so I'd give it to some one who wanted it more.

At the first Vertigo show in Japan, I let an older Japanese woman (quite short) take my place at the rail and I stood behind her. Didn't detract from my experience at all.

It would annoy me though if someone acted as if it was their "right" to be on the rail though, and if I was feeling petulant I might refuse in that case.

 

[lauramullen]

I would if it was for a child. I have had people move a make room to a little girl could get on the rail. I just politely asked if we could move over a little and everyone did.

 

[Jamescorymiko]

I was on the back inner rail for Chicago 1. There was a shorter woman to my right also on the rail that was very nice (she was with another short woman). We saved spaces for each other once we got in the inner circle for bathroom/food runs once we got our spaces (before the show). Anyways, there was one tall person between us and the stage. This tall guy was a drifter. He ended up directly in front of us at times in the show. When Ultra Violet began I just pulled her to my spot because the tall dude had drifted in front of her. I knew I would be in the Red Zone the next day, and I could shift around to see over his shoulder. I let her stay there till the end of the show. No regrets.

 

[chels82]

I was on the back inner rail for Chicago 1. There was a shorter woman to my right also on the rail that was very nice (she was with another short woman). We saved spaces for each other once we got in the inner circle for bathroom/food runs once we got our spaces (before the show). Anyways, there was one tall person between us and the stage. This tall guy was a drifter. He ended up directly in front of us at times in the show. When Ultra Violet began I just pulled her to my spot because the tall dude had drifted in front of her. I knew I would be in the Red Zone the next day, and I could shift around to see over his shoulder. I let her stay there till the end of the show. No regrets.

Bless your heart.

 

[U2Girl1978]

I know what I'd do for part of that equation: not wear high heels to a rock concert. I couldn't believe how many women I saw wearing ridiculous shoes. On the walk back to the Loop on Saturday, one was carrying her heels and walking barefoot. No thank you.

Me and Kafrun saw this lady wear these big boots. I can't even describe them to you they were so ridiculous. I couldn't believe that she was actually able to walk in them! lol

I'm short as it is and some tall guy was trying to get in on the rail (there wasn't much room left to begin with) on Sunday's show. Sorry wasn't going to happen. If it was a little kid I would definitely let them go on the rail.

 

[doctorwho]

Those of you who attended Sunday's show in Chicago may recall that Bono pulled a boy up onto the ramp (a bit dangerously too - he might not do that again) from the inner circle. This boy was NOT on the rail. So if one wants to be pulled up, being on the rail isn't necessarily critical.

For this tour, I think the difficulty in getting onto the ramps or stage may prohibit Bono from pulling a lot of people up. It's just too awkward.

 

[DRay9911]

i'm 6'1, i'd let someone in front of me if they were nice. if it's a chick, she wouldn't have to get titty & assey about it, but it wouldn't hurt

i did see one of the COBL clips showing B pulling the boy onto the bridge, but i saw it from bono's side. i'd like to see a clip from the kid's side to see how that all went down.

-dan

 

[chels82]

i'm 6'1, i'd let someone in front of me if they were nice. if it's a chick, she wouldn't have to get titty & assey about it, but it wouldn't hurt

 

[RedRocksU2]

hell no.

 

[RedRocksU2]

now, if it was one of the addicts here.......probably, depends on who it is.

 

[nicv]

^ aww I know you would Carlos.


I'm not very tall myself but I would do it for someone disabled or a child.

 

[achtung_girl]

I'm very tall and in milan nearly everyone standing next to me was smaller! I tried to let girls that were behind me, standing next to me cause having a giant in front of you all the time is really annoying I guess.

 

[circa1992]

When Sarah (then 13) and I got into the ellipse at MSG last tour, we ended up in the second row from the stage, in front of Adam. The person in front of us was over 6', and being only 5' short, our hearts sunk when we saw how much our view would be blocked. Thank God, he was gracious, and a true gentleman...he voluntarily surrendered his spot for Sarah! So she was on the rail and I stood directly behind her. This probably sounds totally cheesy, but it was a dream come true (ever since I saw Rattle & Hum on opening day), and we pretty much freaked out when the band came onstage because we never dreamed we'd ever be that close! And the guy that gave us his spot is the photographer of my favorite picture ever...(see my avatar)! We are so grateful for his kindness!

2 weeks later we ended up in the same spot in Hartford, CT this time with my husband and then 10 year old son (who was well under 5' at the time) joining us. I was surprised to find that, overall, the NY crowd was MUCH more friendly and protective!
~Liz

 

[nicv]

^Awesome story! The look on her face is priceless!

What a great guy

 

[kramwest1]

I think there should be some difference here between the inner circle/outer front rail and the RZ. It doesn't hurt to be courteous, but if you've waited all day, then you have kind of earned the spot you get. However, call me naive (YOU'RE NAIVE MARK!), in the RZ, no one waits all day, there are far fewer people there than in the inner circle/reg. GA, so it seems like it should be the case that people rotate up to the front. That's what I'm hoping for in Vegas' RZ.

I'm taller than most concert goers (6' plus a little in shoes), but my wife is 5'5". So, usually she will stand in front of me. We usually stand by barricades, firstly because she doesn't like crowds, but secondly then I can have my back up against the barricade and not block anyone. I think it's just courtesy that if you are more than 6' tall, you should be somewhat aware of who is around you.

But, maybe it should be payback for fucking airplane seats that are designed for short people!


Mark

 

[Muldfeld]

I was at a TV On the Radio concert in a tiny venue last year and I let a smaller woman go in front of me because she wouldn't have obstructed my view and I was obstructing hers. I felt good about myself and she got to see. I wasn't attracted to her at all. I'm not tall, so I really appreciate it when taller people are considerate.

I was at a Cure concert and this tall guy next to me was really sweet and switched places with me because this guy in front of us switched with his girlfriend and I couldn't see over his fracking video camera.

Keep that stuff close to your chest or in front of your head, folks. Jutting your camera over your head is very unkind to people behind you.

So, maybe let someone take your place at the rail if they're shorter, but not if you hope to have physical contact with the band or something.