U2 Not Impressed with Fans

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Screenwriter -- comedy mostly -- hence my handle CLERKS, the Kevin Smith classic.
 
clerks said:
DUBLIN -- According to sources, U2 are sick of seeing the same fans at show after show. Bono was quoted as saying, "If I hear one more person shout out requests for songs we'll never play, I'm going to fucking lose it mate." The Edge was more direct, "If I see that guy with the cell phone who is more interested in taken pictures than enjoying the show, I'm going to break my guitar over his head."

Larry and Adam combined to form an ultra band member like a Transformer whose name is LARDAM and Lardam was dismayed that frosty345, lemon5head, streetwithoutyou, pickleface, I Luv Cats... among many others would not stop posting in forums how awful their setlists were. Lardam said it made him sad inside to know that his fans were disappointed in their choices and that he might consider retirement rather than suffer any longer.

Somehow U2 continues to sell out show after show even though they are obviously hacks with no talent. One person said, "If only there was a way for people to listen to whatever songs they want when they want, then they wouldn't have to wait for the band to play it live. Some type of device." At press time, no device is know but that really would change up the music landscape making playing live as pointless as most fans seem to think it is.

No need to check back -- We will run this same article for the next 365 days.
Click to expand...

I can´t imagine Edge doing that XP That kind of behaviour remind me to Axl Rose.
An regarding the retirement...never, please.....
 
I have to admit this has one of my very favourite thread titles ever. :yes:
 
actually laughing harder than i did a year ago :D

love this thread!
 
clerks said:
DUBLIN -- According to sources, U2 are sick of seeing the same fans at show after show. Bono was quoted as saying, "If I hear one more person shout out requests for songs we'll never play, I'm going to fucking lose it mate." The Edge was more direct, "If I see that guy with the cell phone who is more interested in taken pictures than enjoying the show, I'm going to break my guitar over his head."

Larry and Adam combined to form an ultra band member like a Transformer whose name is LARDAM and Lardam was dismayed that frosty345, lemon5head, streetwithoutyou, pickleface, I Luv Cats... among many others would not stop posting in forums how awful their setlists were. Lardam said it made him sad inside to know that his fans were disappointed in their choices and that he might consider retirement rather than suffer any longer.

Somehow U2 continues to sell out show after show even though they are obviously hacks with no talent. One person said, "If only there was a way for people to listen to whatever songs they want when they want, then they wouldn't have to wait for the band to play it live. Some type of device." At press time, no device is know but that really would change up the music landscape making playing live as pointless as most fans seem to think it is.

No need to check back -- We will run this same article for the next 365 days.
Click to expand...

This just in: World-famous rock band U2 are officially disappointed with the new look of their fans.

"Some older, less well-known fans have started coming to see us again," drummer Larry Mullen Jr. explained. "But I remember liking them a lot better during the Vertigo Tour, five years ago."

The fans in question, including iluvbonosometimes, Moon_In_Space, and The2ftw, haven't changed much, though they have aged a few years due to the progression of time since the last U2 tour.

"They're still wearing the same U2 shirts, but something doesn't seem right," bassist Adam Clayton said. "I think 'Closethutdabfan' got a haircut or something."

Frontman Bono has noticed a disturbing change in the content of the signs held up by these U2 fans. "I remember one fan used to hold up a sign that said U2 PLEASE PLAY THE SONG ULTRAVIOLET (LIGHT MY WAY) WHICH IS TRACK 10 FROM ACHTUNG BABY. THE REASON YOU SHOULD PLAY THIS SONG IT IS AN ENJOYABLE MUSICAL EXPERIENCE AND YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED IT RECENTLY, but since we actually started playing it they've shortened it to 'PLZ PLAY UV BC IT'S MY FAVE!!"

The Edge shook his head as Bono described the new sign. "It's like they took away all the subtlety and beauty of the original. They've dumbed down their signs for us. Why couldn't they just bring their original signs? We feel kind of cheated, playing a stadium show like this and only getting sub-par signs."

Bono nodded in agreement. "It's true. Although the new sign is written with glitter, and that's kind of cool."

The rest of U2 disagreed with Bono and an argument ensued over whether the glitter was an improvement or not. Sources tried to reach the fan who crafted the sign in question, but were only able to find a user entitled 7ustRH.

"Yeah, I saw that sign," 7ustRH said upon being told the description. "Maybe the old sign got damaged or something. I mean, Vertigo Tour? That was like half a decade ago right? I'm surprised they even remember what the first sign was at all."

"U2 is old anyway, and I heard their singer has AIDS or something. So I'm going to go listen to The Suburbs," he added.

U2 were unable to be reached for further comment due to continually arguing amongst themselves about their fans. Despite publicly announcing their disappointment with the fans, U2 currently has no plans to cancel their tour and there has even been discussion of releasing a new album within the next six months.
 
collapse said:
...they've shortened it to 'PLZ PLAY UV BC IT'S MY FAVE!!"

The Edge shook his head as Bono described the new sign. "It's like they took away all the subtlety and beauty of the original. They've dumbed down their signs for us. Why couldn't they just bring their original signs? We feel kind of cheated, playing a stadium show like this and only getting sub-par signs."

Bono nodded in agreement. "It's true. Although the new sign is written with glitter, and that's kind of cool."
Click to expand...


:lol:

Collapse, I think you just won Interference, congratulations. Excellent allegory my friend.
 
collapse said:
This just in: World-famous rock band U2 are officially disappointed with the new look of their fans.

"Some older, less well-known fans have started coming to see us again," drummer Larry Mullen Jr. explained. "But I remember liking them a lot better during the Vertigo Tour, five years ago."

The fans in question, including iluvbonosometimes, Moon_In_Space, and The2ftw, haven't changed much, though they have aged a few years due to the progression of time since the last U2 tour.

"They're still wearing the same U2 shirts, but something doesn't seem right," bassist Adam Clayton said. "I think 'Closethutdabfan' got a haircut or something."

Frontman Bono has noticed a disturbing change in the content of the signs held up by these U2 fans. "I remember one fan used to hold up a sign that said U2 PLEASE PLAY THE SONG ULTRAVIOLET (LIGHT MY WAY) WHICH IS TRACK 10 FROM ACHTUNG BABY. THE REASON YOU SHOULD PLAY THIS SONG IT IS AN ENJOYABLE MUSICAL EXPERIENCE AND YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED IT RECENTLY, but since we actually started playing it they've shortened it to 'PLZ PLAY UV BC IT'S MY FAVE!!"

The Edge shook his head as Bono described the new sign. "It's like they took away all the subtlety and beauty of the original. They've dumbed down their signs for us. Why couldn't they just bring their original signs? We feel kind of cheated, playing a stadium show like this and only getting sub-par signs."

Bono nodded in agreement. "It's true. Although the new sign is written with glitter, and that's kind of cool."

The rest of U2 disagreed with Bono and an argument ensued over whether the glitter was an improvement or not. Sources tried to reach the fan who crafted the sign in question, but were only able to find a user entitled 7ustRH.

"Yeah, I saw that sign," 7ustRH said upon being told the description. "Maybe the old sign got damaged or something. I mean, Vertigo Tour? That was like half a decade ago right? I'm surprised they even remember what the first sign was at all."

"U2 is old anyway, and I heard their singer has AIDS or something. So I'm going to go listen to The Suburbs," he added.

U2 were unable to be reached for further comment due to continually arguing amongst themselves about their fans. Despite publicly announcing their disappointment with the fans, U2 currently has no plans to cancel their tour and there has even been discussion of releasing a new album within the next six months.
Click to expand...
Slow-Clap.gif

And an extra 5 points for referencing The Suburbs.

This is now the single best thread on Interference, no exceptions.
 
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