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Old 04-13-2006, 10:02 AM   #61
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Carek1230

White Landowner

You know that little headhunter in Carek's signature? That's actually Carek. Her people have long been oppressed by European rule and have in the last couple of decades begun to fight back. The White Landowner has sworn to hold onto his land for as long as it takes to put down the "savage revolution."

Here's a recent picture of The White Landowner.



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Old 04-13-2006, 10:22 AM   #62
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BrownEyedBoy

Van Morrison

Growing up in Northern Ireland, little Van Morrison dreamed of only one thing: being a professional football (ie Soccer for the Yanks) player. On a rainy Tuesday in October, 1955, little Van and his team The Belfast Rebellion, were all set to take the Nothern Ireland U12 Divisional Title. With 85 minutes gone, Little Van stole the ball at mid field, and then in a series of manuveurs that can only be compared to Maradona's coast to coast miracle, broke through the opposing lines, set up for a shot perfectly aimed for the lower left, when out of nowhere, clumsy teammate BrownEyedBoy fell on the ball, ruining the goal, and eventually allowing the game loser to go in on his own net. The game was heard across N. Ireland on transistor radios.

Van stood in horror as he watched his enemies celebrate their victory over the Rebellion. BrownEyedBoy, oblivious to what was going on, patted Van on the back and said, "Nice match, mate." From that day on Van swore vengenace. He turned to the blues, having given up on his footie dreams. He penned a song in mockery of BrownEyedBoy called, "Brown Eyed Girl." (Many say that had Van gotten big in the gangsta days the song would have een called, "Brown Eyed Bitch (Come Get Some, What?)" But these were kinder, gentler days. )

Van has held onto his rage and sings the song every chance he gets.


Brown Eyed Girl, by van Morrison.

Hey where did we go,
Days when the rains came
Down in the hollow,
Playin' a new game,
Laughing and a running hey, hey
Skipping and a jumping
In the misty morning fog with
Our hearts a thumpin' and you
My brown eyed girl,
You my brown eyed girl.

Whatever happened
To Tuesday and so slow
Going down the old mine
With a transistor radio
Standing in the sunlight laughing,
Hiding behind a rainbow's wall,
Slipping and sliding
All along the water fall, with you
My brown eyed girl,
You my brown eyed girl.

Do you remember when we used to sing,
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da

So hard to find my way,
Now that I'm all on my own.
I saw you just the other day,
My how you have grown,
Cast my memory back there, Lord
Sometime I'm overcome thinking 'bout
"Making love" in the green grass
Behind the stadium with you
My brown eyed girl
You my brown eyed girl

Do you remember when we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da.
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Old 04-13-2006, 10:27 AM   #63
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Old 04-13-2006, 10:46 AM   #64
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OK, I just wrote like a goddamn epic about MoFo and hit Reset instead of Submit.
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:03 AM   #65
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MoFo

Mutha Fucka

Behind the Music - MoFo

The hip hop battles rarely got as bloody and violent as they did when MoFo and Mutha Fucka squared off. LA MC and Death Row recording artists Mutha Fucka was at height of fame in early 1996. His first single, "Sup Son, Yeah, You Know" could be heard around the country in every club and on every Top 40 station. MTV put the song into heavy rotation. Death Row founder called Mutha Fucka the New King of Hip Hop after he was the first artists to knock 2Pac's 3rd Postumous release from teh #1 spot.

On the Right Coast, Puf Daddy felt he had to answer Suge's newest star. He returned to the streets of Bedford Stuyvesant, BK, brithplace of Biggie and Lil Kim. What he found excited him. "Yo, he was so raw, you know? So real, you know? So fresh, you know? I had to sign him, you know? For real, you know?"

MoFo signed a three album deal. He worked with Puffy all through the summer of 96. In November of that year, Mutha Fucka released his biggest single to date, "Yeah I Fucked Your Mutha (Dat's Why They Call Me Mutha Fucka)" It shot straight to number 1.

MoFo's first single was set to drop one week later. Containing sample's of Janet Jackson's "Black Cat", MoFo's "Black Cat (HeLL YeAh) featuring Puff Daddy, Notorious BIG, Lil Kim, Busta Rhymes, Wu Tang Clan, and Dwight Yoakam" hit the charts with an apocolyptic boom. Shooting straight to number 1, selling 3 million copies in it's first month, and replacing his name as the hottest MC around.

Said Mutha Fucka, "Hello? Is anyone listening to this? He didn't write this song. This song is 10 years old. This is a Janet Jackson song. All he does is say "Hell Yeah" a bunch of times. Are you kidding me? Ya'll gonna make me lose my mind up in here."

Responded MoFo, "Yeah, well, he just jealous. For real. Yeah we sample Janet, but so what? Here, listen...ok...That's Janet, True true....hold up....ok, ready....wait....that's Janet too.....hold up....here we go - BAM, you heard that? That was me. I says 'Hell Yeah'....again. He gonna tell me this ain't my song? Get that shit outta here."

Suge Knight seeing a threat to his business ordered a hit on MoFo. On a cold January night in 1997 MoFo was shot 17 times, but somehow, miraculously, survived. In April of that year he released, "Eye No It Wuz U (U Missed Biatch)".

Puffy, unable to simply let Suge get away with such a blatant act, called in a hit on Mutha Fucka. In June of 1997, a black explorer rolled up to the LA recording studio where Mutha Fucka was recording. As he came out, witness say he was heard saying, "OK, fellas, listen. This is an act. I have a Master's Degree in English Lit. This rapping thing it's my job. OK, this whole shooting business is between Suge and Puffy. Leave me out of it." Mutha Fucka was shot 3 times, and was pronounced DOA at SoCal Hospital.

Shortly after, MoFo retired from music. He launched one last tour, the "Yo, I'm Out, Aite" tour, in October. Upon reaching the end of said tour, MoFo moved to Mobile, Alabama and opened the Friends of Jesus Christ Church where he preaches 3 times weekly. He keep a picture of Mutha Fucka on the pulpit at all times.
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:27 AM   #66
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Big Grin

that was fucking amazing, I'm literally holding my laughter seeing as I have my boss in the next room, but hat's of to you, BrownedEyedBoys' story is also hillarious
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:30 AM   #67
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:31 AM   #68
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver
MoFo

Mutha Fucka

Behind the Music - MoFo

...

MoFo signed a three album deal. He worked with Puffy all through the summer of 96. In November of that year, Mutha Fucka released his biggest single to date, "Yeah I Fucked Your Mutha (Dat's Why They Call Me Mutha Fucka)" It shot straight to number 1.

...

Shortly after, MoFo retired from music. He launched one last tour, the "Yo, I'm Out, Aite" tour, in October. Upon reaching the end of said tour, MoFo moved to Mobile, Alabama and opened the Friends of Jesus Christ Church where he preaches 3 times weekly. He keep a picture of Mutha Fucka on the pulpit at all times.


Wow x3
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:32 AM   #69
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Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
<~


I like on Weebl and Bob how Weebl's archnemesis is a Wee Bull.
I love that too!
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:34 AM   #70
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:37 AM   #71
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Beav, you have some imagination.
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Old 04-13-2006, 11:54 AM   #72
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Gibson Girl

David Gilmour

Love is a twisted, sorted affair. No where is this displayed better than in the star crossed tale of GibsonGirl and David Gilmour.

When Pink Floyd's God of Guitar broke his pinky and needed to find a replacement for the Canadian leg of the tour, GibsonGirl was the obvious choice. "She can jam, you know? SHe can wail. I've heard it with me own ears. It's bloody brilliant," said Gilmour. GG showed up to the audition, everyone was psyched, and them, it happened.

"She whips out a fucking Les Paul. A Les Paul. I mean, I know her name is Gibson Girl, but I just sorta assumed, you know, she being from Canada, people name their kids, like, Canadian names. I just assumed Gibson was Canadian for Julie, or something. I didn't know it meant she played a goddamn Gibson guitar. Bloody hell."

Gilmour refused to hear his guitar work played on a les Paul and stormed out of the studio. Nick Mason tried to cheer her up, offering to lend her one of David's guitar's until he got back. Maybe she could practice on that? She refused and gave chase to Gilmour.

She spotted him crying in a park in central Montreal. As he saw her, he spoke thus, "I had always envisioned this day. You and I, going back and forth on "On Of My Turns"? For long years have I dreamed of this. Longed for it. And here it is, and it's all wrong....a fucking Gibson?"

"Yes. I play a Gibson. Maybe I should have told you sooner."

"Have you ever tried to play the first solo in 'Mother' on a Les Paul?"

"Yeah, of course and it sounded just fine."

"But....it's a Gibson? It's all....thick sounding. Like sludge. Do you know what the purists will say when the solo for Money spews forth froma Gibson? Listen, I know Jimmy Page, maybe he can - "

"I didn't come here for Jimmy Page. I came here for you. But you are too scared of your the tradionalist blue based community to - "

"No, wait - that's all wr-"

"Call me when you grow up, David."

Rumour has it that if you travel to Montreal when David Gilmour is in town, you can hear, eminating from that very park, at midnight, the blinding riff of "Young Lust", only much thicker than how the Floyd plays it.
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:06 PM   #73
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Quote:
Originally posted by GibsonGirl


No way, Barbara. I was going to reply with the EXACT same thing, hyper smiley and all.

Anyway, yes...

Do me, UberBeaver, when you get the chance!
Oh I did you, and I did you GOOD. How you like that? Huh? You like the way I did you? Yeah, you know you do. You're a dirty girl.
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:14 PM   #74
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver
Gibson Girl

David Gilmour

Love is a twisted, sorted affair. No where is this displayed better than in the star crossed tale of GibsonGirl and David Gilmour...
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:15 PM   #75
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