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Old 08-17-2008, 12:50 AM   #466
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Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.
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Old 08-19-2008, 08:25 PM   #467
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I need to start opening my eyes and being observant, and, well, observing some things around here. Sheeeit, son.

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Old 08-19-2008, 09:37 PM   #468
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Old 08-19-2008, 09:43 PM   #469
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Reggie the Dog

Dalton

That town where they make all the porn in California:

Reggie the Dog, director extradionarie is directing his magnus opus, the file he believes will win him his record 29th Woody and secure his name amongst the legends of pr0n: DALTON DOES EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING 27. His star of the previous 26 installments, however, has a different idea of how a particular scene should be shot.

"Look, Reg, we've made a lot of moves these past 3 months - 34 if my count is correct, and I am telling you - my character would NEVER mount this chick like that. A Roman War Helmet into a Dirty Sanchez? If just doesn't work."

"Dalton, listen, it's perfect. Look - you've been fixing her cable for 20 minutes. You're tired. You're stressed. What does a man do when stressed? BAM - Roman War Helmet."

"OK - that's true. That's an inexperienced man would do - but this is my 415th cable fixing scene. My character wants the Pillow Braid. And then, naturally, he's going to want a Finger Jive, followed by a Backdoor Rev, THEN the Roman War Helmet."

"Dalton - no, he's too tired for a Pillow Braid. Looks, he's fed up with his job. Same shitm day in day out. MAYBE he'd want a Cattle Brand into a Roman War Helmet, but a Pillow Braid?"

"Yes - I'm telling you, he wants a Pillow Braid into a - "

"No - you know what? YOU want a Pillow Braid. You're not in character. You're losing focus. Next you're going to be demanding Egg Goggles."

"HOW DARE YOU? Are you calling me unprofesssional? What's next, a DP with a mule? I've about had it with you. Why not go back to making videos of washed up 80s porn stars and waterfalls, you goddamn hack."

"HEY! You get off my set, you sonofabitch. I've about had it with you and your goddamn atti-"

At that moment the Mothership hovers overhead. LemonMac and Unico put on Chocolate City, causing Dalton to go ape shit on a pommel horse and Reg has no choice put to show the 50mm HD Camera who is really in charge. LemonMac calls down from the PA - "You two, get dressed. You're needed elsewhere."

Dalton responds, "I'm not going back to Cheticamp. That place blew.......and not in any kind of good way."

Reg retorts, "Like you'd know good if you blew you in the - "

"Enough," called Unico, "We ain't got time for your shit. It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kind of hectic."

Reg looks up and asks, "World Destruction?"

To which Unico replies, "Your life ain't nothing."

Reg sheds a single tear, packs up his camera and boards the Mothership where he promptly slaps Unico's ass. Unico boogies like a mother fucker and waits for Dalton.

"Hey....what's going on?" he asks.

"UP YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ASS!" calls LemonMac.

"Oh, I can dig it,"replies Dalton as he climbs on board.
How/why/fuck was I not made aware of this?
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Old 08-19-2008, 10:52 PM   #470
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After numerous interruptions, I'm caught up, and I have to say, I'm rapt.

Bravo, Beav.

BRAVO.
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Old 08-20-2008, 11:11 AM   #471
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I'll be listening to Tourist's list next.
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Old 08-20-2008, 11:12 AM   #472
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I'll be listening to Tourist's list next.
Are you maybe in the wrong thread?
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Old 08-20-2008, 11:23 AM   #473
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Are you maybe in the wrong thread?
He's just in character.
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Old 08-20-2008, 11:23 AM   #474
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He's just in character.
That'll work.
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Old 08-20-2008, 11:24 AM   #475
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You know those method actors...
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Old 08-20-2008, 12:02 PM   #476
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I tell them one little mayor is going to get killed and everyone goes CRAZY.
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:17 PM   #477
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:refresh:



I could post that in the What Did You Just Do, What Are You Thinking of Doing, What Will You Do, and What Is The Last Thing You Said threads.



Sweetie milk.
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:24 PM   #478
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Sweetie milk.
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:35 PM   #479
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What is this day o' rest shit???

What is this BULLshit???

Liam and me, we gon' FUCK you up. You got a date Wednesday, baby!
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:43 PM   #480
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What is this day o' rest shit???

What is this BULLshit???

Liam and me, we gon' FUCK you up. You got a date Wednesday, baby!
Eight year olds, Dude.
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