Post here and I will give an archnemesis.

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Carek1230

White Landowner

You know that little headhunter in Carek's signature? That's actually Carek. Her people have long been oppressed by European rule and have in the last couple of decades begun to fight back. The White Landowner has sworn to hold onto his land for as long as it takes to put down the "savage revolution."

Here's a recent picture of The White Landowner.



hunter.gif
 
BrownEyedBoy

Van Morrison

Growing up in Northern Ireland, little Van Morrison dreamed of only one thing: being a professional football (ie Soccer for the Yanks) player. On a rainy Tuesday in October, 1955, little Van and his team The Belfast Rebellion, were all set to take the Nothern Ireland U12 Divisional Title. With 85 minutes gone, Little Van stole the ball at mid field, and then in a series of manuveurs that can only be compared to Maradona's coast to coast miracle, broke through the opposing lines, set up for a shot perfectly aimed for the lower left, when out of nowhere, clumsy teammate BrownEyedBoy fell on the ball, ruining the goal, and eventually allowing the game loser to go in on his own net. The game was heard across N. Ireland on transistor radios.

Van stood in horror as he watched his enemies celebrate their victory over the Rebellion. BrownEyedBoy, oblivious to what was going on, patted Van on the back and said, "Nice match, mate." From that day on Van swore vengenace. He turned to the blues, having given up on his footie dreams. He penned a song in mockery of BrownEyedBoy called, "Brown Eyed Girl." (Many say that had Van gotten big in the gangsta days the song would have een called, "Brown Eyed Bitch (Come Get Some, What?)" But these were kinder, gentler days. )

Van has held onto his rage and sings the song every chance he gets.


Brown Eyed Girl, by van Morrison.

Hey where did we go,
Days when the rains came
Down in the hollow,
Playin' a new game,
Laughing and a running hey, hey
Skipping and a jumping
In the misty morning fog with
Our hearts a thumpin' and you
My brown eyed girl,
You my brown eyed girl.

Whatever happened
To Tuesday and so slow
Going down the old mine
With a transistor radio
Standing in the sunlight laughing,
Hiding behind a rainbow's wall,
Slipping and sliding
All along the water fall, with you
My brown eyed girl,
You my brown eyed girl.

Do you remember when we used to sing,
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da

So hard to find my way,
Now that I'm all on my own.
I saw you just the other day,
My how you have grown,
Cast my memory back there, Lord
Sometime I'm overcome thinking 'bout
"Making love" in the green grass
Behind the stadium with you
My brown eyed girl
You my brown eyed girl

Do you remember when we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da.
 
MoFo

Mutha Fucka

Behind the Music - MoFo

The hip hop battles rarely got as bloody and violent as they did when MoFo and Mutha Fucka squared off. LA MC and Death Row recording artists Mutha Fucka was at height of fame in early 1996. His first single, "Sup Son, Yeah, You Know" could be heard around the country in every club and on every Top 40 station. MTV put the song into heavy rotation. Death Row founder called Mutha Fucka the New King of Hip Hop after he was the first artists to knock 2Pac's 3rd Postumous release from teh #1 spot.

On the Right Coast, Puf Daddy felt he had to answer Suge's newest star. He returned to the streets of Bedford Stuyvesant, BK, brithplace of Biggie and Lil Kim. What he found excited him. "Yo, he was so raw, you know? So real, you know? So fresh, you know? I had to sign him, you know? For real, you know?"

MoFo signed a three album deal. He worked with Puffy all through the summer of 96. In November of that year, Mutha Fucka released his biggest single to date, "Yeah I Fucked Your Mutha (Dat's Why They Call Me Mutha Fucka)" It shot straight to number 1.

MoFo's first single was set to drop one week later. Containing sample's of Janet Jackson's "Black Cat", MoFo's "Black Cat (HeLL YeAh) featuring Puff Daddy, Notorious BIG, Lil Kim, Busta Rhymes, Wu Tang Clan, and Dwight Yoakam" hit the charts with an apocolyptic boom. Shooting straight to number 1, selling 3 million copies in it's first month, and replacing his name as the hottest MC around.

Said Mutha Fucka, "Hello? Is anyone listening to this? He didn't write this song. This song is 10 years old. This is a Janet Jackson song. All he does is say "Hell Yeah" a bunch of times. Are you kidding me? Ya'll gonna make me lose my mind up in here."

Responded MoFo, "Yeah, well, he just jealous. For real. Yeah we sample Janet, but so what? Here, listen...ok...That's Janet, True true....hold up....ok, ready....wait....that's Janet too.....hold up....here we go - BAM, you heard that? That was me. I says 'Hell Yeah'....again. He gonna tell me this ain't my song? Get that shit outta here."

Suge Knight seeing a threat to his business ordered a hit on MoFo. On a cold January night in 1997 MoFo was shot 17 times, but somehow, miraculously, survived. In April of that year he released, "Eye No It Wuz U (U Missed Biatch)".

Puffy, unable to simply let Suge get away with such a blatant act, called in a hit on Mutha Fucka. In June of 1997, a black explorer rolled up to the LA recording studio where Mutha Fucka was recording. As he came out, witness say he was heard saying, "OK, fellas, listen. This is an act. I have a Master's Degree in English Lit. This rapping thing it's my job. OK, this whole shooting business is between Suge and Puffy. Leave me out of it." Mutha Fucka was shot 3 times, and was pronounced DOA at SoCal Hospital.

Shortly after, MoFo retired from music. He launched one last tour, the "Yo, I'm Out, Aite" tour, in October. Upon reaching the end of said tour, MoFo moved to Mobile, Alabama and opened the Friends of Jesus Christ Church where he preaches 3 times weekly. He keep a picture of Mutha Fucka on the pulpit at all times.
 
that was fucking amazing, :applaud: I'm literally holding my laughter seeing as I have my boss in the next room, but hat's of to you, BrownedEyedBoys' story is also hillarious :bow:
 
UberBeaver said:
MoFo

Mutha Fucka

Behind the Music - MoFo

...

MoFo signed a three album deal. He worked with Puffy all through the summer of 96. In November of that year, Mutha Fucka released his biggest single to date, "Yeah I Fucked Your Mutha (Dat's Why They Call Me Mutha Fucka)" It shot straight to number 1.

...

Shortly after, MoFo retired from music. He launched one last tour, the "Yo, I'm Out, Aite" tour, in October. Upon reaching the end of said tour, MoFo moved to Mobile, Alabama and opened the Friends of Jesus Christ Church where he preaches 3 times weekly. He keep a picture of Mutha Fucka on the pulpit at all times.

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Wow x3
 
Gibson Girl

David Gilmour

Love is a twisted, sorted affair. No where is this displayed better than in the star crossed tale of GibsonGirl and David Gilmour.

When Pink Floyd's God of Guitar broke his pinky and needed to find a replacement for the Canadian leg of the tour, GibsonGirl was the obvious choice. "She can jam, you know? SHe can wail. I've heard it with me own ears. It's bloody brilliant," said Gilmour. GG showed up to the audition, everyone was psyched, and them, it happened.

"She whips out a fucking Les Paul. A Les Paul. I mean, I know her name is Gibson Girl, but I just sorta assumed, you know, she being from Canada, people name their kids, like, Canadian names. I just assumed Gibson was Canadian for Julie, or something. I didn't know it meant she played a goddamn Gibson guitar. Bloody hell."

Gilmour refused to hear his guitar work played on a les Paul and stormed out of the studio. Nick Mason tried to cheer her up, offering to lend her one of David's guitar's until he got back. Maybe she could practice on that? She refused and gave chase to Gilmour.

She spotted him crying in a park in central Montreal. As he saw her, he spoke thus, "I had always envisioned this day. You and I, going back and forth on "On Of My Turns"? For long years have I dreamed of this. Longed for it. And here it is, and it's all wrong....a fucking Gibson?"

"Yes. I play a Gibson. Maybe I should have told you sooner."

"Have you ever tried to play the first solo in 'Mother' on a Les Paul?"

"Yeah, of course and it sounded just fine."

"But....it's a Gibson? It's all....thick sounding. Like sludge. Do you know what the purists will say when the solo for Money spews forth froma Gibson? Listen, I know Jimmy Page, maybe he can - "

"I didn't come here for Jimmy Page. I came here for you. But you are too scared of your the tradionalist blue based community to - "

"No, wait - that's all wr-"

"Call me when you grow up, David."

Rumour has it that if you travel to Montreal when David Gilmour is in town, you can hear, eminating from that very park, at midnight, the blinding riff of "Young Lust", only much thicker than how the Floyd plays it.
 
GibsonGirl said:


No way, Barbara. I was going to reply with the EXACT same thing, hyper smiley and all. :ohmy:

Anyway, yes...

Do me, UberBeaver, when you get the chance! :hyper: :sexywink:

Oh I did you, and I did you GOOD. How you like that? Huh? You like the way I did you? Yeah, you know you do. You're a dirty girl.
 
UberBeaver said:
Gibson Girl

David Gilmour

Love is a twisted, sorted affair. No where is this displayed better than in the star crossed tale of GibsonGirl and David Gilmour...

:lmao:
 
Lila64

Ray Davies

1968. The Summer of Love. The Kinks kick off their 1968 tour in the SoHo section of New York City. Girls flock to see them and revel in the joy that is the Davies brothers. One lucky girl gets the eye of Ray Davies. After a few hours of small talk and drinks of champaigne, she says, "Won't you come home with me?", and he does. They great their freak on and then slumber in a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

The next morning, singer Ray Davies opens his eyes and says, "Ahhh, now there's a night I won't soon be forgetting. Thank you Lola."

"Lila."

"What?"

"My name. It's Lila. Not Lola. L-I-L-A, Lila."

"Oh...right. Sorry bout that. Anyway, got to go. Playing Boston tomorrow. Bye Lola."

Ray wrote to Lila for many months, but like so many long distance romances, it faltered. Then, one day, in late 1970 a small package arrived. In it was a record and a note. "I told you I'd never forget you. I even wrote a song about you. I think it'll be a hit. Miss you Lola. Love always, Ray."

"Son of a bitch," she said after reading the note. "L-I-L-A, LILA."
 
UberBeaver said:
lmjhitman

Agent 47

Larry Mullen Jr has made a lot of people angry in his day. Gambling debts, prostitutes, substances: the line of people waiting to collect runs deep. But now, some people have grown tired of waiting.

In a small Dublin suburb known as Dim O Caugh, Agent 47, a secret assassin works for an unknown source. His mission: Take Out LMJ.

Across town, a second hired gun, LMJHitman, plots her course as she too has money waiting for her should she complete her mission: Take out Larry Mullen jr.

Over the next few weeks LMJHitman and Agent 47 engage in a brilliant game of cat and mouse, as both foil each other's plots by saving Larry from the other, so that they can kill him with their own hands, and collect the money. Stay tuned to see how all of this plays out.
:drool:

omg! that is so awesome! :up: :up:

this is a cool thread, beav. fer reals.

i can't wait to see impy's!
 
U2MaNaIcWeIdO

Dr. Englebert Wastof Umphries III

Famed scientist Dr. EW Umphries III recently claimed to have broken the molecular structure of the highly dangerous Sodium based compound U2MaNaIcWeIdO.

His findings, to be published next week in the science magazine Nature, claim that the substance, when it comes into contact with the compound CO2LdPL3Ay can lead to a sharp increase in so called "Red Enzymes." "These "red enzymes" he writes, "tend to rush up into the heads of those carriers of the U2MaNaIcWeIdO
compound, causing a rise in blood pressure and a desire to utter things like, 'THEY DON'T SOUND LIKE U2MaNaIcWeIdO and if they do it's because they're ripping them off.'"

Harvard scientist David Jacobs, PhD responds, "It's an interesting theory. I should like to test it further before putting forth an opinion, but it certainly looks promising."

Dr. Umphreys hopes to isolate the U2MaNaIcWeIdO gene in the hopes of perhaps shutting it down completely, he said as his "The Scientist" came up next on his iTunes playlist.
 
UberBeaver said:
U2MaNaIcWeIdO

Dr. Englebert Wastof Umphries III

Famed scientist Dr. EW Umphries III recently claimed to have broken the molecular structure of the highly dangerous Sodium based compound U2MaNaIcWeIdO.

His findings, to be published next week in the science magazine Nature, claim that the substance, when it comes into contact with the compound CO2LdPL3Ay can lead to a sharp increase in so called "Red Enzymes." "These "red enzymes" he writes, "tend to rush up into the heads of those carriers of the U2MaNaIcWeIdO
compound, causing a rise in blood pressure and a desire to utter things like, 'THEY DON'T SOUND LIKE U2MaNaIcWeIdO and if they do it's because they're ripping them off.'"

Harvard scientist David Jacobs, PhD responds, "It's an interesting theory. I should like to test it further before putting forth an opinion, but it certainly looks promising."

Dr. Umphreys hopes to isolate the U2MaNaIcWeIdO gene in the hopes of perhaps shutting it down completely, he said as his "The Scientist" came up next on his iTunes playlist.

:lmao: I always wanted to be on the periodic table. But seriously.....I'm happy that I cause such a reaction when mixed with anything Coldplay! :lmao:
 
Bono's Baby 12

Johnnie Cochraine

"Ya' Honor. Clearly what we have here is a case of entrapment, extortion if you will, per se. A young, poor, impressional girl gets pregnant. Hey, Happens everyday, some say, it's the American Way, ok? Who are we to judge? Well, cept for you, ya honor. he he. (laughter from the court room.) So here is this young girl, firghtened, confused, saying, "Hey - that fella over there, the one yelling into the microphone about war, he's the father. He got money. He can afford a baby." Was it her idea to say these terrible lies? Who knows. Maybe, maybe not. Don't really matter. Fact is, the baby that was named BonosBaby12 is not my client's baby. Nor is she twelve. Nor is she the twelth child of Mr. Bono. My CLIENT WAS FRAMED. THIS IS LUDICROUS! A travesty of the American justice systems, which is compunded by the irony that my client is Irish, therefore, he cannot be guilty. Thank you."
 
Inmyplace13
Love_U2_Adam
TripThruUreWires
LanceMC
Kristie
GreenEyedGirl
Rocking Edge
Namkur
CliffEdge
bono212
FlySoHigh
Mugsy
BonoChick
ThoraSeb
Mr Brau
BluRmChk

Did I miss anyone?
 
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Chiso

Eric Estrada

In 2005 Vince McMahon decided that he wanted to bring some flair to the WWE. He wanted speed and skill to dovetail with the feats of sheer strength of the more popular WWE wrestlers. He looked to the Latin wrestling leagues and like what he saw.

Eric "Ponch" Estrada was brought in and soon thereafter he beat Kane in a steel cage ladder match. Estrada was such a hit that he was given a manager, Lolita Esperanza De Villa Casa, and a more prominent role on the weekly shows.

After a couple of months McMahon wanted to expand Estrada's role. His first tactic was to bring in Jon, Ponch's old partner on the Cali Highway Patrol, but when it seemed that Jon was horrendously out of shape, and wouldn't make a good foil, McMahon went back to the drawing board.

His scouts reported that a high flying fella named Chiso was lighting up the indy scene, and McMahon went to check him out in Hartford, CT. He signed him on the spot.

Chiso was originally given a small role, but Estrada felt threatened. He began to bad mouth Chiso, saying that the "Latino Verdad" was right "aqui, pendejo. Callate. You make me enfermo. Aye aye aye aye aye." Chiso, never one to back down, ran out and beat Estrada in front of 35k at the Staples Center in Atlanta (?).

Chiso has since gotten his own manager, Jon, and he meets up with Estrada for the Intercontinental Belt on May 1 in Salt City Utah. The world waits with bated breath.

----------------------

Chiso - OK, I have no idea why I think you're Latin, but I do, so, yeah. You get Eric Estrada.
 
UberBeaver said:
Lila64

Ray Davies

1968. The Summer of Love. The Kinks kick off their 1968 tour in the SoHo section of New York City. Girls flock to see them and revel in the joy that is the Davies brothers. One lucky girl gets the eye of Ray Davies. After a few hours of small talk and drinks of champaigne, she says, "Won't you come home with me?", and he does. They great their freak on and then slumber in a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

The next morning, singer Ray Davies opens his eyes and says, "Ahhh, now there's a night I won't soon be forgetting. Thank you Lola."

"Lila."

"What?"

"My name. It's Lila. Not Lola. L-I-L-A, Lila."

"Oh...right. Sorry bout that. Anyway, got to go. Playing Boston tomorrow. Bye Lola."

Ray wrote to Lila for many months, but like so many long distance romances, it faltered. Then, one day, in late 1970 a small package arrived. In it was a record and a note. "I told you I'd never forget you. I even wrote a song about you. I think it'll be a hit. Miss you Lola. Love always, Ray."

"Son of a bitch," she said after reading the note. "L-I-L-A, LILA."




:applaud: This is sooooooooooooooo Lila!!!! :lmao: :lmao:
 
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