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Old 04-18-2006, 01:59 PM   #181
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Bono212

Bono646

I left NYC for two months a couple of years ago. Disconnected my screenname, figured it would be ok when I got back. So I get back, call the screen name company and I ask for my screen name. They say, "Ok Ms (I'm assuming you're a woman, so you're probably a man, in which case, no hard feeling, k?) Bono, here you go."
I take it and I say,
"Wait. What is this? 646? I thought 646 was just for new screennames."

"This is a new screenname."

"No, no, no, no. It's not a new screenname. It's--it's--it's just a changed screenname. See? It's not different. It's the same, just...changed."

"Look, I work for the screenname company. I've had a lot of experience with semantics, so don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic."

"You know, I could've killed you, and no one would've known."

"I could've killed you, and no one would've known."

So no I wander around here, a pariah, while some fool gets to be all cool with the 212 screen name. Hogwash I say. S/he can't live forever. And when 212 goes down, I'll be right there, waiting to reclaim my birthright, the 212.
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Old 04-18-2006, 04:04 PM   #182
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Originally posted by UberBeaver


Listen, you women need to denote so in all posts from here on in. Preferably with pictures.

Sorry about the mixup.
Sorry!
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Old 04-18-2006, 06:34 PM   #183
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Dalton

Cheticamp

25 points to anyone that can tell me why.
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Old 04-18-2006, 06:37 PM   #184
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Love_U2_Adam
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Old 04-18-2006, 11:41 PM   #185
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This is awesome.
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Old 04-19-2006, 04:24 AM   #186
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver
FlySoHigh

The DEA

In a white van outside FlySoHigh's house.
"We in place?"
"Yes sir. We should have audio in a second....there it is."
"OK, Silence. Listen close. As soon as we get the chance, we move. Today, the DEA brings FlySoHigh down to earth and into a cell."

*static* *sounds of laughter* *enventually voices come through the head phones*

"Dude...are you talking about lettuce?"
"Lettuce?"
"Yeah, did you just say you have lettuce around the back yard?"
"Lettuce?"
"Yeah....didn't you ... uh, were you just talking about lettuce?"
"Uh...I don't....lettuce?"
"Yeah."
"Like salad?"
"I guess so...you said....uh...I dunno."
"Me either."
"Dude....you got, like...uh food?"
"Food?"
"Yeah."
"Like lettuce?"
"HAHAHAHAHA.......um...you got, like, chips? Or cookies....no, no cookies.....chips? I like...um, you got like....salty food? And soda? Or water?....or YOO HOO. OH MAN I WANT YOO HOO."
"Salty? Like....yeah. Dude, I got, um, rufffles."
"Ruffles have Ridges!"
"heh...LATTICE!"
"What?"
"I was talking about lattice before...in the yard....you, uh, said lettuce....but I was talking about....lattice."
"Ohhh.....what the fuck is lattice?"
"A...uh...like a fence...I think."
"Why were you talking about that?"
"No idea."
"Ruffles...have....ridges."
"Heh...yeah."
"This is some good ..... whoa. Wow. Dude. I can't move."
"Me either."


Back in the van:
"Now sir?"
"No. Unfortunately, there are no laws against laziness or Ruffles. AT least, not yet anyway."

"So like....dude.....uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Try that. Just say uuhhhhhhhh for as long as you can."
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
"Your throat will tickle in a few seconds."
"Uhhhhhh ohhhh, ow, yeah. That hurts man. UHhhhhhhhh. Ouch. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaahahhhhh - HAHAHAHAHAHA, sonov a ....... I can't breath HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, holy sh-hahahahahahaha."
"I"M DYING OVER HERE! HAHAHAHAHA, Holy Jeez- HAHAHAHAHA. you FELL! HAHAHAHA."
"I FEEL! HAHAHAHA."

In the van:
"Sir, it sounds ugly in there. SHould we move?"
"No, dying is legal. Thank God for that. Let them die. Two less scumbags on this planet. People like this make me ill. Just listen to them. I'm disgusted."


"You fell off the couch - DUDE! You totally fell! HAHAHAHA!"
"DUDE! HAHAHA, I like, fell! I think I'm bleeding!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"DUDE, I am totally bleeding. Like from my head! HAHAHAHA!"
"AHHHHAHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHH I'm dying over here! This is AWESOME!"


"Sir, if they die on our watch, are we responsible? Isn't there a rule that we have to save someone in danger?"
"Hell no. We're the DEA. We WANT people to die. That's our job. And if they don't, we arrest them. BAM. Just like that."

*silence*

"Sir, you think they're dead? I haven't heard a thing in a few minutes."
"Hm...maybe. We can hope, can't we?"

*crunching*

"Sir, I hear something....it sounds like...crunching."
"Hm, that must be some kind of Marijuana machine. What else crunches in such a manner?"
"Hm...it could be a marijuna machine. Sounds like the ones we learned about in class."
"We could be the first to actually find one of these machines. If we act fast, we can get in there before they get a chance to hide the Marijuana machine. OK, we're gonna go for it. This is it fellas, we're going to be first to actually bring one of those dreaded machines in. On 3....1 - 2 - 5 -"
"3 sir."
"3 - GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO"

The DEA rushes the house, kick in the front door. FlySOHigh and an unnamed accomplish are sitting on the couch, chomping Pringles.

"Whoa."
"Dude....Are those your parents?"
"Uh...no. Wait...no. Definetly not."

"ON THE GROUND, ON THE GROUND! WHERE'S THE MACHINE?"
"Machine?"
"Yes, the marijuana machine?"
"What machine? They make a machine for marijuana? What's it, like, do?"
"ON THE GROUND!"
"Where?"
"THE GROUND!"
"I don't see a machine onthe ground. What?"
"He's right sir, there is no machine on the ground."
"Damn you flysohigh. DAMN YOU! We will catch you, and your machine. One of these days. I'll never give up. NOT UNTIL YOU ARE OFF THE STREETS!"
"Technically, sir, he's on the coach."
"It's an expression, jackass. Let's go boys. He won this battle, but we'll win the war. C'mon."

The DEA leaves.

"Dude...did....was that real?"
"I was gonna ask you. That was fucked up."
"I am soooo f'd up, bro."
"Heh...pringles?"
"Abslutely."
Oh....duuuuuude!!! That was AWWWWSOME!!!!

Seriously i have not laughed hard like that in ages........I kept coming back to this thread hopin' to see my archnemisis. You are "The Dude"........when you have finished(somehow i don't think you will ever be,considering how many posters we have on this board) are you gonna do your archnemisis?



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Old 04-19-2006, 10:16 AM   #187
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Beav, am I being penalized (i.e. continually pushed down the to-do list) simply because I experienced a case of mistaken identity?
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Old 04-19-2006, 10:59 AM   #188
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Quote:
Originally posted by TripThruUreWires
Beav, am I being penalized (i.e. continually pushed down the to-do list) simply because I experienced a case of mistaken identity?
No, of course not. I am not so petty. You are being penalized because the best I've been able to come up with is "My Wires" and that's kinda lame. There are a couple of people that have been waiting a long time. I do this when I get a break in my work. I'll get to you.
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Old 04-19-2006, 11:04 AM   #189
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Quote:
Originally posted by fly so high!


You are "The Dude"........when you have finished(somehow i don't think you will ever be,considering how many posters we have on this board) are you gonna do your archnemisis?



Am I the nerd or the fat dog?

I don't know if I'll do my own nemesis. Maybe. Hadn't given it much though. At this rate it's between the Backlog List I got going and TripThruUreWires .
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Old 04-19-2006, 11:13 AM   #190
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Take your time, Beav, I think most of us understand that you're doing this when you can. Thanks for doing it, it was a great idea.
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Old 04-19-2006, 12:00 PM   #191
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Love_U2_Adam

Adam.

She says she loves me. And that's nice and all, but it's the "I love you too" bit I don't get. I don't know her, really. I mean, aside from seeing her follow me around, I've never met her. We've had one conversation which consisted of her yelling, "I love you too! Adam!" And I replied, "Right. Please stop following me around." And she says, "But I love you too. I love you too. ADAM!" I never said I loved her. Never. I don't know her. I wouldn't say such a thing to a young woman. Not anymore anyway. And so, your honour, I petition this court for a restraining order against this woman. I think she's slightly off kilter, if you know what I mean. Had she said, "I love YOU!" that'd be fine. But "I love you too?" I'm a married man. My wife asks, "Why are these women always saying that they love you TOO? Who are they? What are you telling them?" It's embrassing sir. Sometimes I think maybe I have black outs. Like long periods of time where I run around telling women, and sometimes men I guess, that I love them. And then I come to, and have no recollection. It's creepy.
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Old 04-19-2006, 12:04 PM   #192
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver


Am I the nerd or the fat dog?

I don't know if I'll do my own nemesis. Maybe. Hadn't given it much though. At this rate it's between the Backlog List I got going and TripThruUreWires .
if i kiss your ass, tell you what a creative, witty stud you are and subsequently keep quiet, will this tension between us dissolve? please, don't walk away in anger.
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Old 04-19-2006, 12:20 PM   #193
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Originally posted by TripThruUreWires


if i kiss your ass, tell you what a creative, witty stud you are and subsequently keep quiet, will this tension between us dissolve? please, don't walk away in anger.
Um, as far as I'm concerned, there is Zero tension between us. I saw it all as goofy, simple banter. Was I wrong? Should I be angry or something? Cause I can get angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry
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Old 04-19-2006, 12:44 PM   #194
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver


(can someone please make a :hulksmiley: ?)
give these interferencers some time, they'll find one
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Old 04-19-2006, 12:55 PM   #195
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver


Um, as far as I'm concerned, there is Zero tension between us. I saw it all as goofy, simple banter. Was I wrong? Should I be angry or something? Cause I can get angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry (can someone please make a :hulksmiley: ?)
oh, no, nope, wait. apparently it is ME with the anger issues (refer to journal). it's likely i was just trying to project my own anger on you or perhaps [insert some psycho-social-pathological jargon here]. forgive me.

i'll stop causing you confusion and diverting your attention already, thereby allowing you to get back to your matchmaking work here--which is stellar and hilarious by the way
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