Post here and I will give an archnemesis.

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Sorry for all those without archnemesisesis. Sometimes I just got nothing. Poor TripThruYourWires has been on the list since like April or something. And Zootelesque too, and I finally came up with something today. And sometimes I have a name (Bono's American Wife is set to battle Bono's American Divorce Lawyer) but when I start the story, it sucks.

I haven't forgotten, it's just that I can't force the Muse. :) Know what I mean?
 
TripThruUreWires (female)
Namkur (male)
Mr Brau (male)
MacHat (female)
LemonMacPhisto (male)
RedRocksU2 (male)
KatieBu21 (female)
Onebloodonelife (female)
YBORCITYOBL
COBL_04
JanuaryStar
Night_And_Day66
Bono's American Wife
RavenBlue
 
UberBeaver said:
TripThruUreWires (female)
Namkur (male)
Mr Brau (male)
MacHat (female)
LemonMacPhisto (male)
RedRocksU2 (male)
KatieBu21 (female)
Onebloodonelife (female)
YBORCITYOBL
COBL_04
JanuaryStar
Night_And_Day66
Bono's American Wife
RavenBlue

Just so you know U.B...im all female.
:yes:
 
UberBeaver said:
U2SavesTheWorld

The Justice League


Batman: When did we turn into an after school program for special needs kids? Jesus.
Jesus: I got nothing, Bruce. Sorry.

I feel I shouldn't but... :laugh:
 
Varitek

Theo Epstein

V: Hey, Theo. Welcome back. Where you been?
TE: Detroit - whoa, Capitan, I am diggin that blouse. How much?
V: Oh, I dunno. I got it is a gift. $50, maybe? It's pretty nice. Thanks.
TE: 3 million.
V: What?
TE: For the blouse, 2 years, 4 million. Deal?
V: What? You want to buy my blouse?
TE: 3 years, 8 million. Deal?
V: Yeah. Sure.
TE: Great. Let me put something in writing. Excuse me, I got to make a phone call.....(he dials a #) Hello? Yes, this is Theo Eprstein, General Manager of the Boston Red Sox. Can I speak to ... D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth...sure....thank you....D'Kimba? Hey, Theo Epstein....Listen - 5 years, 20 million...Wait - 6 years - 30 million, eh? .... you drive a hard bargain D'Kimba, I like you. Fine, 8 year, 72 million. Allrighty buddy, looking forward to seeing you in April. Stay fit buddy. (hangs up) YES!!! YES!!! I got em.
V: Who is that?
TE: D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth. He's from Senegal.
V: Senegal? Didn't know they played ball over there.
TE: I got him all set up to cover the left field area.
V: Left? But what about Manny?
TE: What about him?
V: Well, he's out there in left. I don't think he's going to be happy about -
TE: Oh, no no no. D'Kimba doesn't play left field. Come on, walk with me, talk with me. I need a drink. (they go the vendng machine. Theo puts a fifty into the coke machine) Come on? $50! Fine (He puts in another $50) These friggin machines these days, they drive a hard bargain. FINE, FINE, you got it! $200 (he puts in a $100 bill) and presses the "COKE" button.)
V: Uh...yeah. Those are 75 cents.
TE: Listen Cap, it looks like it's 75 cents, but what you're not seeing is it's potential.
V: It's a soda.
TE: No - it's a coke, an American classic. Like baseball and D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth.
V: I thought he was from Senegal.
TE: Yeah, but soon, he'll be like a cola. See?
V: No.
TE: That's why I'm the GM and you're the catcher. When did you become a chick, anyway?
V: It just sorta happened. Anyway, back to the Senegal guy. Where are you going to put Manny?
TE: Manny plays left.
V: You said this D'Kimba guy was going to be in left.
TE: No, I said he'd COVER left.
V: I don't follow.
TE: D'Kimba is a janitor.
V: Oh..wait. What?
TE: Yeah, I was in Detroit last week, some big high rise building they got. I went to take a leak, right, and when I looked down into the urinal, you know what I saw?
V: Uh...I can imagine. Yeah.
TE: No, I saw my face.
V: Sorry?
TE: The urinal was so clean, I could see my face. Now, imagine Fenway with a bathroom full of urinals so clean a fan can come to a game and see his goddamn reflection! GODDAMN, it's beautiful.
V: You just sign a janitor to an 8 year $72 million deal?
TE: Not just a janitor, Senor Capitan, D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth. From Senegal.
V: That is fucking insane.
TE: Hey, listen up San Juan Capitano, this is my club. My call. D'Kimba is going to bring the people to Fenway. We are buildling the organization around him going forward.
V: He cleans BATHROOMS, THEO! What is wrong with you?
TE: Uh...you know....when you put it that way.....heh....it does seem kinda ..... odd.
V: Well, yeah. You ok?
TE: OK. Listen. Don't tell John Henry a thing. I want this to be a surprise.
V: You're still going to do it?
TE: Yeah. I gave my word.
V: Dude, Theo. Come on.
TE: OK, I'll give you 12 million for your silence.
V: THEO!
TE: 15 million, and a better parking spot.
V: Jesus man.
TE: - FINE! 20 million, better parking spot, use of the corporate jacuzzi in the off season.
V:......$22 million and I want a big "C" painted in the parking spot. And I want my face on the yearbook. All this in addition to what you're paying for my blouse.
TE: You drive a hard bargain Captain VeriKirk. Done! This is going to be awesome. YES! I've never been excite to take a leak!
 
OMG....please PLEASE give me an archnemesis...I spend way too much time plotting revenge on people that barely deserve it, finally, perhaps, I can turn my attention to someone who deserves it.
 
Still waiting, Beav. To be fair, after reading about how action packed your life is, I can see why you've not yet attended to my request. I hope you get it done before you, ironically, become my arch nemesis.

Ha. Haha. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Um, yeah.
 
No spoken words said:
Still waiting, Beav. To be fair, after reading about how action packed your life is, I can see why you've not yet attended to my request. I hope you get it done before you, ironically, become my arch nemesis.

Ha. Haha. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Um, yeah.

Yeah man, sorry about that. Friggin writer's block or something. Your name should be pretty easy but I'm blanking at the moment. I have a backlog list that goes back to April or something. I stink. :(
 
UberBeaver said:


Yeah man, sorry about that. Friggin writer's block or something. Your name should be pretty easy but I'm blanking at the moment. I have a backlog list that goes back to April or something. I stink. :(

Yeah, I read through the thread and noticed the backlog...and even felt guilty for rushing you....but it was fleeting the guilt.

I hope you soon overcome your writer's block and provide interference with more much needed comedy...because, I must say, this thread is hilarious, nicely done.
 
RedRocksU2

Dr. Blue Balls

For over three weeks now the male population of Southern California has been unable to stand upright for the combination of pain and humiliation that the mad Dr. Blue Balls has wreaked upon the land. Construction work has all but ceased. The police force is decimated, but luckily, crime has dropped by 85%. The female population has picked up much of the slack, but still half the city is virtually paralyzed. The region is in despair.

An uneasy silence is broken as Dr. Blue Balls arrives with her megaphone to shrilly remind the city that she is in control. "Hello? HIYA People! Remember me? We met at the 21 Club in Pasadena? You bought me a drink, we went back to my place? Ringing a bell? You said you were gonna call? RIIIIIGGGGGHHHHTTTT! Well, I remember you. I remember waiting by the phone. I remember the anxiety. I remember the humiliation, and you know what? I'm giving it right back. I challenge any man to stand against me. I challenge any man to even stand! HAHAHA!"

"I stand."

"What? Who said that?"

"It is I."

"No, it cannot be!"

"Indeed, it is I, RedRocks. I recall you from the 21 Club. I recall promising to call."

"BUT - How can this be? How are you not effected by my power?"

"Woman, please. He who possess the Red Rocks is immune to Blue Balls. Silly girl, i laugh at thee. HAHAHA."

"NOOOOOO! This cannot be! Why...why did you not call?"

"Perhaps I lost your number. Perhaps I did not enjoy the conversation. Perhaps you were only one of many that night. Perhaps all of the above. Either way you have no right to behave in such a fashion, and for this, feel my wrath."

"No...not again."

"Ohh...si si, senorita. El Suave."

"NOOOOO, not the Latin Charm!"

"Aye, si, yes, little girl, the Latin Charm. You remember now? You remember how I mixed ingles con espanol? Si, si. Mira, chica, it is what I do. No peudo ayudarlo. I am, como se a dice?, a prisoner of my own charm, and you, senorita, are my warden."

"But...I...wait, what? That doesn't make sense."

"Aye, si, que importa. You are getting consada, verdad?"

"My eyes, they are...heavy."

"So, go to sleep, mi amor. Have suenas of you and I, and waterfalls. Go to sleep. And forget all of this. Go to sleep."

And with that Dr. Blue Balls passed out in the middle of the freeway.

The men of Southern California felt instant relief and quickly life began to return to normal. RedRocks flew away, bringing Dr. Blue Balls back to her home. He placed her in bed and left a rose on the sleeping body of Dr. Blue Balls. She awoke the next day, somewhat confused, but feeling wonderful. She spent the entire day blissfully, having no recollection of her scorned alter ego.

Across town RedRocks sat on his balcony, strumming his guitar, weeping for his curse.
 
Haven't been in here in a while. I'll add you guys to the list. I may have burnt myself out on this topic, but who knows, the muse might inspire me sometime.

TripThruUreWires (female)
Namkur (male)
Mr Brau (male)
MacHat (female)
LemonMacPhisto (male)
RedRocksU2 (male)
KatieBu21 (female)
Onebloodonelife (female)
YBORCITYOBL
COBL_04
JanuaryStar
Night_And_Day66
Bono's American Wife
RavenBlue
Jobob
Bono Maniac
No Spoken Words
Reggie the Dogg
Sicy
Enajh2
Screwtape2
Bono's Lil Pal 94
u2Girl416

:ohmy:
 
UberBeaver said:
Haven't been in here in a while. I'll add you guys to the list. I may have burnt myself out on this topic, but who knows, the muse might inspire me sometime.

TripThruUreWires (female)
Namkur (male)
Mr Brau (male)
MacHat (female)
LemonMacPhisto (male)
RedRocksU2 (male)
KatieBu21 (female)
Onebloodonelife (female)
YBORCITYOBL
COBL_04
JanuaryStar
Night_And_Day66
Bono's American Wife
RavenBlue
Jobob
Bono Maniac
No Spoken Words
Reggie the Dogg
Sicy
Enajh2
Screwtape2
Bono's Lil Pal 94
u2Girl416

:ohmy:

Do I even have to say anything to you? Opportunity is knocking.
 
If you do get inspired and start again, can you add me please? (I'm a girl) I've been watching the thread since the beginning :applaud:
 
Back
Top Bottom