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Old 04-29-2005, 11:54 AM   #121
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Jerry: "The answering machine is like a relationship barometer!"

George: "What IS a barometer?"

Kramer: "It's pronounced 'thermometer'."
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:56 AM   #122
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Elaine: "What? What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla?! I mean, we are all unhappy! Do we have to be fat, too?!"
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:57 AM   #123
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With having just started a new job, I was able to use these lines...

Kramer: "What are you starting with me for? You know this is my crazy time of year!"

Jerry: "It's your THIRD day!"
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Old 04-29-2005, 12:02 PM   #124
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"People don't just bump into each other and have sex! This isn't Cinemax!"
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Old 04-29-2005, 12:09 PM   #125
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Jerry: *points to himself* "This is an idiot."

George: "Is that right? I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots."

Roxanne: *yelling out the window to marathon runners* You're all winners!!!"

George: "But suddenly, a new contender has emerged..."
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Old 04-29-2005, 08:56 PM   #126
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"Jerry, it's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back!"

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Old 05-01-2005, 08:22 PM   #127
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FESTIVUS... FOR THE REST OF US!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-03-2005, 12:29 PM   #128
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EAT HICKORY!
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Old 05-03-2005, 12:31 PM   #129
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YOU'RE NOT GIVING AWAY MY WATERPICK!!!
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Old 05-03-2005, 07:49 PM   #130
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Jambalaya!!!
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Old 05-05-2005, 08:13 AM   #131
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bono's American Wife


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Old 05-05-2005, 08:17 AM   #132
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Has anyone mentioned George's wedding invitations or the mansiere yet
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Old 05-05-2005, 10:14 AM   #133
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Jerry: "Well, the crowd most have gone wild!"

George: "Oh, yes, they did, Jerry. They were all over me. It was like Rocky 1. Diane came up to me, threw her arms around me, and kissed me. We both had tears streaming down our faces. I never saw anyone so beautiful. It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist."

Jerry: "Wow! What'd she say?"

George: "She told me to go to hell, and I took the bus home."
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Old 05-05-2005, 10:25 AM   #134
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Kramer: "Yeow!"

Elaine: "What?"

Kramer: "Well, you're getting heavy. Yeah, you look like you put n five...ten pounds."

Jerry: "Kramer!"

Kramer: "I'll tell you something else, you're looking a little chunky
yourself, buddy."

Jerry: "Me?"

Kramer: "Yeah."

Jerry: "No."

Elaine: "Where's your bathroom scale?"

*Jerry gives her a 'duh' look*

Elaine: "Oh my god, I've gained seven pounds!"

Jerry: "I've gained eight!"

Kramer: "I told you!"

Elaine: "Oh my god! A couple...but seven pounds? How did I gain seven pounds?!"

Jerry: "How did I gain eight?!"

Elaine: "I don't get it. I've been doing the same exercises. I
haven't been eating anything different."

Jerry: "Me either! Wait a second. Wait a second. Maybe it's that
yogurt!"

Kramer: "No, no, no. That's a hundred percent non-fat!"

Jerry: "Well, how else could this have happened?"

Kramer: "Well, maybe it's the Oreos."

Elaine: "I don't eat Oreos."

Kramer: "YOU don't eat Oreos? The way you break them open?
It's like you're having sex with them!"

Jerry: "What about me?"

Kramer: "You? You're getting old."

Jerry: "Maybe your yogurt isn't so non-fat."

Kramer: "Oh, guess again, Tubby!"

Elaine: "Jerry, there's got to be a way to find that out."

Jerry: "There must be some kind of lab that would do that kind of
thing."

Elaine: "I've got it!"

Kramer: "What?"

Elaine: "I'll call the Food and Drug Administration!"

Kramer: "Hey, I'll tell you what, chubby, if that yogurt has fat in it, will put myself on an all-yogurt diet for a week."

Jerry: "Well, let's start the insanity."

Kramer: "Giddy-up!"


~~~

Kramer: "Well, you can't have this tested now. It's melting."

Jerry: "So what?"

Kramer: "It changes the molecules."

Jerry: "Oh, you don't know what you're talking about."

Kramer: "Hey, fatso, I got a 90 in biology!"

Jerry: "You call me fatso one more time, you're going to be walking
back!"
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Old 05-05-2005, 02:18 PM   #135
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believe it or not George isn't at home, just leave a message after bip
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phoen, where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home...

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