RIP George Carlin

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Well damn. RIP George. Funny guy, he'll be missed. Heading over to youtube and checking out "Carlin at Carnegie" which I've always loved and can't seem to find a copy.

Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits FTW

(and don't forget fart, turd, and twat)
 
It was a sad surprise to hear the news this morning. NPR played a small piece of one of my favorite George Carlin bits so I felt the need to post the whole thing here. He was definitely clever. I feel the need to watch "Jersey Girl" this week.

I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!
 
Larry King Live at 9:00pm ET
on Monday, June 23, 2008

Tonight: Exclusive - Jerry Seinfeld Remembers George Carlin

Exclusive! George Carlin is remembered
by those who knew him best.
Jerry Seinfeld, Joan Rivers and others join
Larry to honor the comedy great who died Sunday.
Nobody has ALL the people we’re going to get.

Tonight only on Larry King Live!



*Must remember to watch
 
got this from a friend today:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have
taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider
freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have
bigger houses and smaller families, more
conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but
less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too
recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get
too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read
too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our
values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate
too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years. We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have
trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We
write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to
wait. We build more computers to hold more
information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow
digestion, big men and small character, steep
profits and shallow relationships. These are the
days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier
houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick
trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can
bring this letter to you, and a time when you can
choose either to share this insight, or to just hit
delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will
grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only treasure you can give with
your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and
your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and
an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep
inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time
to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people....who cares?

George Carlin
 
'the Paradox...' is not Carlin's.

As nice as this essay is, George emphatically stated on his website that 'The Paradox of Our Times' is a "sappy load of shit" that he would not have written in a million years.
 
here's a great quote from george...

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...


...and you finish off as an orgasm.”

:D
 
My cable went out for the last 10 minutes of the Larry King show. I'll have to re-record it at 9:00pm. Larry was in the middle of speaking to George's daughter.

:sad:
 
I am so so sad at this news. I have been a Carlin fan since his hippy dippy weather man days long, long ago. He had a great career and made many, many people laugh. I loved his comedy. So much of it was truth. RIP George, you will be sorely missed.
 
As nice as this essay is, George emphatically stated on his website that 'The Paradox of Our Times' is a "sappy load of shit" that he would not have written in a million years.

It was going really well and I really thought he'd written it because of the exceptional word-play but then they finished it off with that cringe-worthy "moments that take your breath away" quote. :tsk:
 
As nice as this essay is, George emphatically stated on his website that 'The Paradox of Our Times' is a "sappy load of shit" that he would not have written in a million years.

I didn't know that - someone sent that in an email to me on Monday :shrug: :reject: Apparently it was written by By Dr. Bob Moorehead according to http://www.xdude.com/paradox.htm



David Letterman and Jon Stewart both made mention of Carlin tonight. Leno and O'Brien were reruns :sigh:
 
John Mayer posted something nice on his blog about George Carlin:

George Carlin was my favorite comic.
He had what a virtuoso must: control.
Virtuosos take away the fear in you that they will drop the ball,
because they never do.

He would ease you into generally agreeing with his world view and then sneak in the oddest statement he could come up with, like "You ever get hit in the head with an axe?"

One time he told this joke about his grandfather retiring for the evening, telling him "I'm gonna go upstairs and f**k your grandma for a while."

His telling of the Aristocrats joke is by far the most vulgar and graphic.

He was also one of those entertainers whom you "share custody" with someone you love.
My brother Carl and I would recite Carlin lines all the time...

He was known as a "counter-cultural" comedian.
And it's a shame he's gone, because these days there's a hell of a lot of culture to be countered.
 
Article on CNN about the show they did on Carlin last night



(CNN) -- George Carlin was "the total package of what a comedian's skills could be," Jerry Seinfeld said Monday in a "Larry King Live" tribute to the comedian.


George Carlin's peers remember him as a towering figure in comedy.

"He was a brilliant writer, a brilliant performer," Seinfeld told CNN's Larry King. "He literally could train his eye on something very kind of mundane and regular -- he could talk about a couch pillow or he could take on, you know, abortion or politics or religion.

"So there was no subject that his mind was not able to dissect and make fun. ... He had an amazing breadth of subject matter," Seinfeld added, calling Carlin "one of the Mount Rushmore guys in our profession."

Carlin, who died of heart failure Sunday at age 71, was known for his observational skills and talent for language. His famous routines compared baseball and football, fast-moving "maniac" drivers with slow-moving "idiots," and included a list of "people I can do without."

He also fearlessly used profanity, scatology and irreverence in making his points about the absurdities of human life. His "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine prompted a landmark indecency case that went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

In November, Carlin was slated to receive the 2008 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, given by the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.

"I think the things he said and the guts he had to say them, it was just breathtaking," comedian Roseanne Barr told King.


"He really didn't care, you know, if it was going to rub anybody the wrong way," observed Seinfeld, who credited Carlin as a huge influence. "I used to love this routine he would do about how whenever the UFO people come on television, everyone in this studio audience laughs at them. But when they talk about religion and the man in the sky with the white beard and the robe, everyone is very reverent and which one is really more absurd? And, you know, obviously, that's going to get religious people upset."

Bill Maher, who as the host of "Politically Incorrect" and HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher" has raised hackles himself from time to time, noted that Carlin probably would have dismissed much of the praise he was receiving in death.

"I bet you if he was here now, what he would be saying is, 'Why do people say nice things when you die? That's the stupidest thing to do. They can't hear you, you know?' " Maher said.

But Maher added that, for him, "there's nobody higher" in the comedy pantheon.
"Look, there's many ways to get a laugh. To me, this is the highest way. It's also saying something," Maher said. "If you took the jokes out of his act, it would still be a very interesting speech that made you think."

Carlin may have seemed angry and indignant onstage -- and there was that side of him, the comedians agreed -- but he was personally a kind, gracious man, said "The Daily Show" contributor Lewis Black.

When Black was a struggling performer, he recalled getting a call from Carlin, a man he'd never met, out of the blue.

"He said, 'Listen, Lewis, this is George Carlin. First, let me tell you, there's nothing I can do for your career.' And then he went on to say he'd heard my stuff, and he really liked it and I made him laugh," Black said. "If I had any things to send it to him, because he had friends who liked to laugh. That was what he could do. That alone really was for me, it was huge, absolutely huge.

"It shut my mother up," he added.

Carlin's daughter Kelly Carlin McCall called her father "a great dad."

"People see him onstage in his stage persona and his grumpiness and crotchetiness," she said. "Yet he was the kindest, most generous, incredible man when it came to meeting people one-on-one and knowing people."

The family is planning a private memorial for this weekend, McCall and Carlin's brother Patrick told King. That service will be followed by a public event in a few weeks. Watch an appreciation of Carlin »

The comedians and family members were caught off guard by Carlin's death. Though Carlin was in the preliminary stages of congestive heart failure, his health had seemed in "a good place," McCall said. The peripatetic Carlin, who constantly toured despite a history of heart problems, had played a show the weekend before in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Seinfeld said he had talked with Carlin a few days ago, not long after the death of "Meet the Press" host Tim Russert.

"We were actually joking about death," he said. "We were kidding about how, you know, they kind of come in groups. It was like Bo Diddley and Tim Russert. And he was saying how I feel safe now for a little while because, you know, there should be a lull before they come after the next person."

Seinfeld marveled at Carlin's output.

"This guy did 14 HBO specials -- 14. I've done two. And, you know, very few comedians do more than three or four -- I mean, plus the books," he said. "I don't think we'll ever see someone who, in their lifetime, creates as much comedy as this man did."

Patrick Carlin, who described his relationship with his younger brother as "two peas in a pod," said "he was born hip and never stopped growing," never forgetting those he loved.

"He sure left a beautiful trail across the universe," he said. "And I'm going to miss him forever, forever, man."
 
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John Mayer posted something nice on his blog about George Carlin:

George Carlin was my favorite comic.
He had what a virtuoso must: control.
Virtuosos take away the fear in you that they will drop the ball,
because they never do.

He would ease you into generally agreeing with his world view and then sneak in the oddest statement he could come up with, like "You ever get hit in the head with an axe?"

One time he told this joke about his grandfather retiring for the evening, telling him "I'm gonna go upstairs and f**k your grandma for a while."

His telling of the Aristocrats joke is by far the most vulgar and graphic.

He was also one of those entertainers whom you "share custody" with someone you love.
My brother Carl and I would recite Carlin lines all the time...

He was known as a "counter-cultural" comedian.
And it's a shame he's gone, because these days there's a hell of a lot of culture to be countered.

This isn't on johnmayer.com is this blog on another site?
 
George Carlin was the only comedian who got funnier and more cutting edge as he got older. It's usually the other way around. He left on a very high note with his HBO concert 'It's Bad for Ya' a couple of months ago. The field of comedy is going to be soulless from here on out as a result of this rare genius' departure.:sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:
 
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