Review the Movie You Viewed VII: We're Done, Professionally

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Plus the idea of following Shuttlecock around Europe would bring back nice memories for you. And the idea of you being abducted while doing so would bring back nice fantasies for everyone else.


And yeah, you did, Laz. It was also about doing something vaguely Jewish to somebody.
 
Glad you found it. I only managed to dig up this, which stemmed from my "Lance's Mom never had a DP behave like this" comment:

Lance's Mom: Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking heels off, in the middle of a trick? Then why the fuck are you walking right through? Ah-da-da-da, like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it's fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind Dalton in the middle of a ream? Give me a fucking answer! What don't you get about it?

Sheila Twirlbutt, other prostitute: I was looking for a condom.

Lance's Mom: Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was fucking good, because it's useless now, isn't it?

Twirlbutt: OK.

Lance's Mom: Fuck's sake woman, you're amateur. NSW, you got fucking something to say to this bitch?

No Spoken Words a.k.a. "NSW", pimp: I didn't see it happen.

Lance's Mom: Well, somebody should be fucking watching and keeping an eye on her.

NSW: Fair enough.

Lance's Mom: It's the second time that she doesn't give a fuck about what is going on in my bed, all right? I'm trying to fucking turn a trick here, and I am going "Why the fuck is Sheila walking in there? What is she doing there?" Do you understand my mind is not on the John if you're doing that?

Twirlbutt: I absolutely apologise. I'm sorry, I did not mean anything by it.

Lance's Mom: Stay out of my fucking room bitch. For fuck's sake. Alright, let's go again.

Dalton: I might need a minute.

Lance's Mom: Let's not take a fucking minute, let's go again.

(inaudible)

Lance's Mom: I'm going to fucking kick your fucking ass if you don't shut up for a second! All right?

Unknown voices: Lance's Mom, it's cool.

Lance's Mom: I'm going to go... Do you want me to fucking go trash your room?
Do you want me to fucking trash it? Then why are you trashing my trick?

Twirlbutt: I'm not trying to trash your trick.

Lance's Mom: You are trashing my trick!

Twirlbutt: Lance's Mom, I was only...

Lance's Mom: You do it one more fucking time and I ain't working in this brothel if you're still hired. I'm fucking serious. You're a nice girl. You're a nice girl, but that don't fucking cut it when you're fucking around like this in-house.
Click to expand...
 
Well, to be fair, it's easier to be consistent over such a shorter piece. They're both great, although Bangs of New York may be your magnum opus.
 
Lance is probably the authority on the subject, so that's for the best.
 
impy13 said:
Lance is probably the authority on the subject, so that's for the best.
Click to expand...

We definitely want this film to be poignant and hard hitting, raw....but it needs to be a sensual journey, too.

Do we even know the plot? Are we rolling with his dream, or should it be about Laz having the dream and trying to go ahead and actually make a film called Hot Rice, against the backdrop of sprawling, hard-luck LA. He'll have to cope with budget issues, diva-like attitude from no-name actors and actresses, a producer with only profit on his/her mind, all while avoiding getting a DUI.
 
The dream sequence will have to be vivid. Very vivid. But I like the idea of him trying to make the film based on it. Sort of like Synecdoche, New York. But with whores.
 
I also suggest that if we go with a real life Laz, we go with a real life Lance. Lance makes his inevitable move to LA, and it coincides with Laz's attempts to get Hot Rice off the ground. Lance will want to work on the film, so Laz hires him on in some capacity. This lets us do flashback sequences regarding Lance, and his Mom, and the audience will NEVER see the fact that Lazarus is his Dad coming.
 
With a twist like that, we need to get Shamalamadingdong involved.

Lance will be the Denny to Laz's Johnny.
 
impy13 said:
With a twist like that, we need to get Shamalamadingdong involved.

Lance will be the Denny to Laz's Johnny.
Click to expand...

How about, the studio is interested in Laz's screenplay, but wants Shamalamadingdong to direct, as Shamalama is looking to do something edgy....Laz now has to combat the scumbag producer (likely a Jew) who is trying to tell HIM HOW TO DIRECT HIS OWN SCREENPLAY, A SCREENPLAY HATCHED FROM HIS DREAMS. Lance can comfort him afterwards.
 
Does Lance's Mom tape her eyelids back and attempt to audition at some point? If so, then I'm in.
 
lazarus said:
Yeah, I know. It's unfortunate.

And I was definitely referring to the section AFTER Taken.
Click to expand...

Okay.

No spoken words said:
We definitely want this film to be poignant and hard hitting, raw....but it needs to be a sensual journey, too.

Do we even know the plot? Are we rolling with his dream, or should it be about Laz having the dream and trying to go ahead and actually make a film called Hot Rice, against the backdrop of sprawling, hard-luck LA. He'll have to cope with budget issues, diva-like attitude from no-name actors and actresses, a producer with only profit on his/her mind, all while avoiding getting a DUI.
Click to expand...

It needs to be like Sunset Boulevard meets Mulholland Drive meets The Room.

No spoken words said:
I also suggest that if we go with a real life Laz, we go with a real life Lance. Lance makes his inevitable move to LA, and it coincides with Laz's attempts to get Hot Rice off the ground. Lance will want to work on the film, so Laz hires him on in some capacity. This lets us do flashback sequences regarding Lance, and his Mom, and the audience will NEVER see the fact that Lazarus is his Dad coming.
Click to expand...

No spoken words said:
How about, the studio is interested in Laz's screenplay, but wants Shamalamadingdong to direct, as Shamalama is looking to do something edgy....Laz now has to combat the scumbag producer (likely a Jew) who is trying to tell HIM HOW TO DIRECT HIS OWN SCREENPLAY, A SCREENPLAY HATCHED FROM HIS DREAMS. Lance can comfort him afterwards.
Click to expand...

Michael Bay would be a better choice here.
 
Well it was between Moon and Star Trek at the $2 theatre and I went against my indie instincts.

Beginning of the movie was a bit much; Abrams tried to go for a big emotional moment too early, in my opinion. I also rolled my eyes at the Little Kirk Steals A Car scene; that kid needs to get kicked in the face.

After that, I was pretty on board. Pine is hard not to root for; cocky without seeming like a douche (mainly because of the anti-establishment streak). Quinto was just about perfect, Urban over the top but enjoyable. Yelchin over the top but believable. Winona Ryder WTF?! Effective in her two scenes. Bana didn't bother me, and I guess it's a compliment to say he's unrecognizable in appearance and voice.

Not a big fan of the design. What's interesting is that while the Star Wars prequels also had a shitload of clutter, the stuff with the ships was always clean and easy to look at. So many lights and glass it just seemed like they were trying to distract from subpar bluescreen work. I don't know. The action itself was very good though. And speaking of Star Wars, what was with that Hoth/Wampa homage? Was I the only one that thought that? The medal ceremony at the end was a little too familiar as well, as if Abrams was trying to blend the sensibilities of the two franchises and distance himself from pure Trek geekness.

Not sure about the time travel and rewriting history thing. What's the purpose? Just so they had an excuse to put Nimoy in? Of course his presence has weight to it but why not just LET IT GO? Move on.

I'd see a sequel.
 
The whole ice-planet thing/10-minute Nimoy exposition was pretty eye-rolling for me.

I bought into the rewriting idea though. Sets up this universe as its own timeline free from canon of the original series while technically not being a reboot/pissing off all the hardcore Trek nerds (at least not more than they already were about this movie).
 
lazarus said:
Well it was between Moon and Star Trek at the $2 theatre and I went against my indie instincts.

Beginning of the movie was a bit much; Abrams tried to go for a big emotional moment too early, in my opinion. I also rolled my eyes at the Little Kirk Steals A Car scene; that kid needs to get kicked in the face.

After that, I was pretty on board. Pine is hard not to root for; cocky without seeming like a douche (mainly because of the anti-establishment streak). Quinto was just about perfect, Urban over the top but enjoyable. Yelchin over the top but believable. Winona Ryder WTF?! Effective in her two scenes. Bana didn't bother me, and I guess it's a compliment to say he's unrecognizable in appearance and voice.

Not a big fan of the design. What's interesting is that while the Star Wars prequels also had a shitload of clutter, the stuff with the ships was always clean and easy to look at. So many lights and glass it just seemed like they were trying to distract from subpar bluescreen work. I don't know. The action itself was very good though. And speaking of Star Wars, what was with that Hoth/Wampa homage? Was I the only one that thought that? The medal ceremony at the end was a little too familiar as well, as if Abrams was trying to blend the sensibilities of the two franchises and distance himself from pure Trek geekness.

Not sure about the time travel and rewriting history thing. What's the purpose? Just so they had an excuse to put Nimoy in? Of course his presence has weight to it but why not just LET IT GO? Move on.

I'd see a sequel.
Click to expand...

But you got to hear "Sabotaaaaaaaage" in a Trek movie. That's awesome. And Simon Pegg's midget sidekick was a huge WTF, but hilarious.

Lancemc said:
The whole ice-planet thing/10-minute Nimoy exposition was pretty eye-rolling for me.

I bought into the rewriting idea though. Sets up this universe as its own timeline free from canon of the original series while technically not being a reboot/pissing off all the hardcore Trek nerds (at least not more than they already were about this movie).
Click to expand...

That's exactly why they did it, and I love it. As long as they don't rehash ideas from the Original Series, then it's dandy.

I think if they're really going to go hardcore, someone like Sulu or Chekhov needs to die in the next film. Really up the stakes.
 
Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie

Not the first time I've seen it, definitely won't be the last.

I just have to quote it.

Exeter: "They're [the handles] are magnetized!"
Crow: And if your hands were metal, that would mean something.
 
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