Review the Movie You Viewed VII: We're Done, Professionally

[LMP]

Winner. Plus I see your problem with The Game, but I never had much of an issue with it. And it had one of the better uses of "White Rabbit" I've seen.

Happy birthday, by the way.

Totally cool, it's a pretty divisive ending, it seems. Indeed it does.

Thank ya, sir.

 

[lazarus]

I love that ending, personally. It's so downbeat, yet says so much with so little. A nice wink.

Apparently there's a laserdisc or import DVD that has a Fincher commentary. NEED TO GET.

 

[corianderstem]

Badlands

I was annoyed with Sissy Spacek so much at first (Gee, your man kills your daddy and all you can do is look ... exactly like you've looked and acted through the movie so far?) I almost stopped watching it.

Then it got really good.

 

[RedRocksU2]

The Princess Bride


I haven't seen this movie in a long time. Classic.
Inigo Montoya ..............prepare to die.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Valentino - Very entertaining.

 

[Lancemc]

Drag Me To Hell

I'm really baffled. I mean, I knew I probably wouldn't like this to begin with, as I have a fundamental distain for 90% of horror films made, and aren't even a big fan of the Evil Dead films. But jesus christ, I can't for the life of me begin to understand how this is 93% fresh on RT, let alone how so many people seem to not just like the movie, but fucking LOVE it. Seriously? WTF?

Firstly, the movie fails to scare, the most basic foundation of the genre, it's shit. Nothing but one cheap, telegraphed obnoxiously loud jump scare after another. Raimi made one 10 minute sequence that begins at normal volume, creeps to silence, with exactly one camera set-up and movement, then explodes with painfully loud... loudness. Really that's all it is. One of the worst perpetrators of jump scares I've ever seen, and it was wholly unenjoyable. No suspense, no growing sense of fear or impending dread, just aural shocks. How this passes for entertainment is a fucking mystery on the level of extra-terrestrial life and how people think dominoes pizza is tastey.

So, OK, I can almost accept the movie isn't scary, or suspenseful or even all that gross/horrific (if there was ever a defense against the use of CGI, this film is a likely frontrunner), because I was also promised comedy. I'll even admit the Evil Dead movies are funny. This one isn't. Ever. Strike that, the kitten poster in the girl's room was funny. Kudos to the production designer then. I guess a corpse vomiting embalming fluid is comical? It sure as hell isn't scary or creepy, so maybe that's the point? Again, I'm really at a loss here. The only bright spot here was seeing Alison Lohman writhing around in the mud near the end. Hot.

But yeah, lesson learned. I should just avoid movies I expect to dislike. But fuck me, there's seriously nothing decent in theaters this week. I was desperate, and I never expected anything nearly this awful.

The worst thing I've seen this year. 1/10

 

[lazarus]

The last horror film I remember that actually SCARED me was the American remake of The Ring. They're all about cheap thrills or carving up people (Saw, Hostel, etc.), and have completely lost any sense of true atmospherics. The days of something as sophisticated as Carpenter, let alone Cronenberg, are long gone.

At least in this country. There's some great stuff from Asia, and of course Let The Right One has a more old-fashioned feel to it.

BTW, I wouldn't see Drag Me To Hell if you paid for it and gave me $5 spending money.

 

[Lancemc]

Yeah, for all the Asian cinema I try to watch, I'm still pretty light on their horror products, aside from a few particulars (which are already leagues ahead of their American counterparts). My current expectations for the genre as so low, that I don't even require the films scare me, like I said. It's enough if they're just mildly entertaining shlock (thinking something like Jeepers Creepers or 28 Weeks Later and the like). Even The Decent, which I also hated, had its entertaining stretches.

Drag Me To Hell... not even that. It's the anti-fun, the only feeling I came away with being actual physical pain, from the unrelenting jump tactics and unbearable loudness.

 

[impy13]

But fuck me, there's seriously nothing decent in theaters this week.

If you didn't hate laughter so much, I'd tell you to see The Hangover. No, it's probably not yr cup of tea and yes, it's going to get beaten into the ground over the next year, but you might as well see it before it is quoted to hell. It's fairly obvious that if you got even one good laugh out of it, it'd be more worth yr money than Drag Me to Hell.

Did any of you cocks see Baghead? It's probably the only good "horror" movie I've seen in a long time, but the term doesn't even really apply.

 

[Lancemc]

You're probably right imp. Really, any shitty movie I could have seen last night would have been more worth my money than Drag Me To Hell. I even wish I had seen Pelham 1 2 3 instead. Next week looks equally dire for my theaters, so maybe I'll see The Hangover anyway, even though it looks like the exact same movie that's been made 1000 times alreadyl

 

[lazarus]

I saw The Hangover at the $3 theatre today. Very funny at times, but I can't say I was laughing all the way through. Not even in the same ballpark as Old School, frankly.

 

[FitzChivalry]

Not even in the same ballpark as Old School, frankly.

Uhh, I consider that a good thing since, aside from 2 or 3 great Will Ferrell parts, Old School was decidedly unfunny.

 

[mad1]

Curious Case of Benjamin – I cannot rate this movie. At times I found it weird. At times I found it touching. I find it funny that some people used to say things like ‘wouldn’t it be great to be born old and die young’ – and then this movie came out thou it’s been in talks for a LONG time. Parts of it were a bit funny in a dumb sense. The only real best thing about this movie was the wonderful Cate Blanchett, her make-up and her hair – she looked so flawless I was gobsmacked. Classic beauty that woman is. And the wonderful Tilda.


He’s Just Not That Into You – this movie seemed like nothing – my mate said it made us girls look desperate. I agree BUT it kinda borders on the tradition of waiting for a guy to call first, well it used to be like that (I remember that in the past, LOL!). This is also a movie that Jennifer Connelly got heavily spat at verbally for looking too thin due to weight-loss on parent death, she is doing better now and I still think she is a lovely actress. Anyhow, this movie lacks LOADS of plot, it felt more like within five mins DiDi and that guy got together. And then the fooking usual of a married man finally giving into temptation to cheat on wife blah blah. Yes Scarlett is extremely beautiful, very sensual lips, etc. Drew Barrymore’s character seemed pointless, in fact a lot of this movie seemed very pointless, too many cast and little time. Ugh, jaysus, actually, I say no more. 1 outta 10.


Slumdog Millionaire – to be honest folks, I watched about half this movie, got bored and turned it off.


Vicky Christina Barcelona – hmm, dunno what to say, Javier is hot as usual, I loved the hot scenes between him and Scarlett. But on the whole this movie looked and sounded better than it actually was (again that’s Trailers for you), Penelope is hot and beautiful – I prefer her. But I don’t know, the whole girl-kissing/threesome love triangle thing did not work well, esp so late on in the movie. I dunno, Woody Allen failed on this one. 4 outta 10.


bye!

 

[LMP]

Your brigade against everything continues.

 

[lazarus]

No description of how hot Frieda Pinto was in Slumdog?

Consistency, woman!

 

[RedRocksU2]

It was excellent.
Jimmy Paige, Jack and The Edge....
10/10

 

[FitzChivalry]

It was excellent.
Jimmy Paige, Jack and The Edge....
10/10

I second this 100%

 

[powerhour24]

Just got back from Away We Go, and while its uneven, and surprising to see Sam Mendes direct in a plain/indie comedy of the 2000's style, there's so many great things about it, and definitely shows off his strength in directing actors. The supporting cast gives great performances for scripted roles that are rather one-note and overly despicable, but its Maya Rudolph and Krasinski that give amazing performances, thanks in part to characters that are much more well written, and a winning depiction of their relationship. The poignance is something I really didn't expect, and loved.

I love Maya Rudolph, so casting her in lead was already approved by me, but she really proved herself as a dramatic actress in this her first attempt at it, its too bad the movie will be forgotten come year's end.

 

[gvox]

Just watched: The International Rating: kept me watching, but "Meh"

This movie could have been so much better had the leads just talked a hell of alot less. Too many cliches and moralistic speeches. Example: "The want me to put a gun to your head, and if you screw this up, pull the trigger" (or something similar). Lame. The overexplanation of how how economic slavery works (no, really??!)

I do however have to say that it included one of the better gunfight scenes I've seen in a long time..in the vein of the battle in Heat. Pretty cool.

Sidetrack: how anyone could become bored with/fall asleep during Slumdog Millionaire is beyond me. One of the better films I've seen in the past few years! The deliberately campy bollywoodish dance scene at the end is hilarious, also!

 

[karinlv]

Slumdog


I want to see It Might Get Loud, and The Proposal..

 

[cobl04]

The Hangover

Hands down the funniest thing I've seen in a very, very long time. Didn't let up throughout. Here's hoping it'll have the staying power to beat two of my favourites, Anchorman and Dodgeball.

"They didn't give out rings in the Holocaust!"

 

[Lancemc]

I'll have reviews of my movie-packed day in the city tomorrow, as I'm seconds away from passing out of exhaustion. 2 hours of sleep within the last 38. Not a good recipe for driving 130 miles each way either.

 

[dazzlingamy]

The Hangover



I thought it was great, all three actors brought something different to the role (the groom was a bit on dimensional but then he was hardly in it! haha)
Good soundtrack too!

 

[LMP]

Oh hi, Interference. I haven't done a review here in a while, probably since Watchmen or The Dark Knight, but the last movie I saw warrants this kind of attention. The film being, of course, Michael Bay's latest explosion-porn opus, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

There will be spoilers below, so don't read any further if you care to see it.

Going into it, I wasn't expecting much of anything. I had a free ticket from my purchase of the Ghostbusters game, and some passes for some good free pizza, so I was walking in with no-strings attached, nothing to lose. And holy shit, I was wrong. The first film wasn't anything great, but it had two things I love a great deal: giant fighting robots and hot girls (or at least one). If Bay and his crack writing staff of Kurtzman/Orci/other guy can deliver something like that again, then I wouldn't have to waste 2 and a half hours of my time.

Didn't happen.

Instead, I, and everyone else in the theater, was treated to the most overblown, offensive, and self-indulgent display of anything a "modern" action film can bring. Apparently a shard of the giant power rock from the first movie was still in LaBeouf's jacket, and when he shook it out 2 years later, shit started to go down. After deciding to leave his smoking hot mechanic girlfriend and giant fighting robot car at home, he goes off to college to meet Obnoxious Roommate who just knows robots are out there, too. His mother and father are fraught with emotion that their son is leaving, and in their sadness, the mom accidentally eats a pot brownie. Another hot girl who just isn't quite what she seems (maybe because she enjoys hitting on The LaBeouf) shows up, and so does Dwight Schrute. LaBeouf touched the rock thing, which means he knows everything about this super-secret OTHER power source that the Decepticons are looking for, and in his displays of super-knowledge, makes a face like Jorma when he jizzes his pants:

Obviously shit blows up, and two major characters die and come back during the course of the movie (LaBeouf visits Robot Heaven, I shit you not). Unfortunately, it's not any of the three new characters. The new Autobot twins, who are arguably the most offensive racist caricatures I've ever seen on film, complete with bug-eyes, gold teeth, and a penchant for spewing out ebonics, repeatedly do stupid shit and actually claim at one point that they "don't like to read." Incredible. Then, there's an old British robot who walks with a fucking cane who exists only to take LaBeouf, The Fox, Obnoxious Roommate, and Barton Fink to Egypt for some good 'ol-fashioned exposition.

This is turning into a blow-by-blow description instead of a legit review, and for that, I apologize. In short, it's fucking terrible. The visual effects are incredible, and hell, I really dug the score and sound design throughout. Props to ILM and any of the technical crew, but everyone else drops the ball. Halfway through the film, it literally abandons its main plot and starts making up a new one as it goes along, not only confusing the audience, but the characters in the movie, too. And the way Bay stages the action sequences, kind of resembling a shaky-cam-style done by a guy with palsy, leaves everything muddled and incomprehensible.

The humor isn't humorous, the action isn't action-y, and everything else in terms of character, tension, and plot is thrown out the window. I don't expect every movie to be intelligent dissections into the human condition, but I do expect it to follow the rules in the own world that it creates, if that makes sense.

If you want to spend $10 for this lobotomy passed as entertainment, be my guest, and have fun seeing the robot testicles.

 

[corianderstem]

I hadn't heard any early reviews of it until today, when choice quotes from many different reviews, including Ebert's, started popping up all over the internetz.

On the one hand, I hate it when movies this big suck so much because it just makes it all the more maddening that a zillion people go and Hollywood thinks that what we want to see more of.

On the other hand, I love it when movies such so much because the reviews are often so damned funny.

Snow Falling On Cedars

I tried reading the book and found it pretty boring. Gave up before I hit even page 50. Tried the movie because I did actually want to know about the story, and hey, Pacific Northwest movie, so I like that.

It's still boring. Just with too much overly dramatic music and Ethan Hawke.

 

[LMP]

Ebert's review is spot-on.

And why all of those rights groups were piling on Tropic Thunder for Simple Jack and the "full retard" stuff and not attacking this film's blatant racism is beyond me. I actually said "Oh, my God" to some of the shit that came out of those two's mouths.

 

[corianderstem]

And why all of those rights groups were piling on Tropic Thunder for Simple Jack and the "full retard" stuff and not attacking this film's blatant racism is beyond me.

They're probably too busy wracking their brains trying to put out an anti-Perez statement re: thug/faggot without coming across like they condone violence even though they're all thrilled to pieces that someone finally punched that douchenozzle in the face.

I mean, that's a tall order. It must be taking all their energy right now.

 

[LMP]

They're probably too busy wracking their brains trying to put out an anti-Perez statement re: thug/faggot without coming across like they condone violence even though they're all thrilled to pieces that someone finally punched that douchenozzle in the face.

I mean, that's a tall order. It must be taking all their energy right now.

Even if will.i.am inadvertently helped end Perez's reign of terror, I still won't forgive him for helping ruin Wolverine.

 

[lazarus]

Snow Falling On Cedars

I tried reading the book and found it pretty boring. Gave up before I hit even page 50. Tried the movie because I did actually want to know about the story, and hey, Pacific Northwest movie, so I like that.

It's still boring. Just with too much overly dramatic music and Ethan Hawke.

I really liked this film. Nice to see something about a despicable part of American history that goes largely unmentioned (at least where I grew up). I found it moving at times, and I liked how the director messed around with the different time frames. That one scene where you see her writing the letter, him reading the letter, having his arm amputated and thinking about the letter, the flashbacks...pretty hardcore.

Definitely slow-paced, though.

Scott Hicks also directed the adaptation of Stephen King's Hearts in Atlantis, which I really liked a lot. A sweetly nostalgic but melancholy film.

 

[corianderstem]

I dunno ... I'm leaning towards actually cheering for BEP when I see them in Vegas and Vancouver because of all this.

(Bear in mind I haven't seen Wolverine, so I hold no grudge against him there. )