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Old 02-28-2009, 05:42 PM   #106
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It's a weird line - I don't want to judge her, but it's hard not to be disappointed that she's gone back to him. (Which is also weird, because why should I care enough to be disappointed?)

But at the same time, it's a fine line between defending what she's done and blaming the victim.

It's just a bad, ugly, sad situation all around. I guess all you can do is hope she comes to realize she can do better, she deserves better and finds the strength she needs to do whatever needs to be done.

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Old 02-28-2009, 05:48 PM   #107
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I would agree with most of your opinions if CB showed even ths slightest hint of remorse about beating the woman he claims to love to within an inch of her life. He just doesn't give a shit at all, and really only apologised because his agent undoubtedly forced him to issue a bullshit statement to try to save the meagre chance he has left at having a career.

If he actually seemed regretful about nearly killing her, I might see some sense in what's going on.
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Old 02-28-2009, 05:52 PM   #108
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I do agree with that - he sure has done nothing that makes him look like anything other than a complete fuckwad.

But as much as I hate to give him any sort of benefit of the doubt, who knows what's gone on between them in private and not through official statements and police reports?

And yes, the whole "but he said he's sorry and he loves me" just is another bit of the usual crap in the cycle of abuse, but who knows? Maybe he means it and is going to do something about it. I don't know.
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Old 02-28-2009, 06:39 PM   #109
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.....and, they are only 19 years old...and want to believe it or not...they are still kids with a hell of a lot of growing up to do....they will do want they want no matter who is advising them that they are stupid for getting back together....because thats how kids are....they do lots of dumb things...his best lesson would be jail time...but it doesn't look like he will be learning that one
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Old 02-28-2009, 07:11 PM   #110
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his best lesson would be jail time
I disagree. His best lesson would be to get shitkicked as badly as he did to Rihanna. I would be the first to volunteer.
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Old 02-28-2009, 07:37 PM   #111
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Rihanna is 21 now, Chris Brown is 19. I understand why it's not that simple for most victims but they are both in the public eye. The backlash for Brown is deserved but there will be backlash for her as well if she truly goes back to him.

Hopefully the police department and the DA don't fuck this up and charge him with something.
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Old 02-28-2009, 11:48 PM   #112
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Ugh
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Old 02-28-2009, 11:53 PM   #113
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I disagree. His best lesson would be to get shitkicked as badly as he did to Rihanna. I would be the first to volunteer.
I heard Maryland's Gary Williams on the Jim Rome show the other day. He said something that comes to mind reading your posts: "The internet makes people brave."
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Old 02-28-2009, 11:59 PM   #114
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Its really ashame in a way that she is in an awesome position to bring lite onto domestic dating abuse especially among young people. Unfortunately, this is a bad example for young people.
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Old 02-28-2009, 11:59 PM   #115
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i can understand why she's going back to him, you can't control love. but sometimes you need rational thought to take over.
Indeed. I understand too, but her brain really needs to take over for her heart here. It takes a while for the heart to catch up, but it does eventually.

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Like hell it isn't.

Let's say you've never seen a stove before. You put your hand on a cold burner and nothing happens. Later you come back and the burner is glowing red. You put your hand on it and it burns you. After you recover, you come back to the stove and see the burner is red again. If you think "well maybe this time it won't burn me" and stick your hand on it again, wouldn't it be somewhat justified if someone says you're to blame for your second burn?

Maybe that's a bad example, but you get my point.
It's a good example, but with love it's a slightly different cycle. The burner gets you every time, but it does nothing to soothe the pain. An abuser burns you, but then they swoop in quickly to smooth it over with sweet words and affection. Each time the abused goes back, the abuser learns he can get away with it, so each time the abuse gets worse and the sweet words are less and less, but the victim's brain begins to become addicted to the cycle. They grasp at what few tender moments the relationship brings, and begin to equate it all - the hurt and the healing - with love. So as ludicrous as it seems to outsiders that the woman can't see the bigger picture, she ends up deeper and deeper into the fog.. At some point she's got to snap herself out of it and start conciously changing her pattern of thought. It's not easy, but it's doable, but it takes strength and it's easy to fall back into the relationship, because emotional manipulators are cowards, but they're GOOD at what they do.

I hope I'm making some kind of sense, cause I've had a few tonight
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Old 03-01-2009, 09:45 AM   #116
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Yes she's following the pattern of so many other abused women. It's very sad.
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Old 03-01-2009, 02:32 PM   #117
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Its really ashame in a way that she is in an awesome position to bring lite onto domestic dating abuse especially among young people. Unfortunately, this is a bad example for young people.
I'm going to call bullshit on this one.

How is she setting a bad example for young people? By going back to Chris Brown? We are in absolutely no position to comment on that since we have no knowledge of what has gone on in the relationship since (or before for that matter) the attack.

What Chris Brown did was absolutely inexcusable. Rihanna reconciling with him would not change that fact. If they live happily ever after, it will not be excused. If she dumps him, he goes to prison and spends the rest of his life alone, it will not be excused. This is something that they both have to live with. If he decides to bring his anger issues to light (in the context of their relationship - not with us) and she decides she wants to pursue a healthy relationship with him, I see no reason to judge her for it.
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Old 03-02-2009, 06:12 PM   #118
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I'm going to call bullshit on this one.

How is she setting a bad example for young people? By going back to Chris Brown? We are in absolutely no position to comment on that since we have no knowledge of what has gone on in the relationship since (or before for that matter) the attack.

What Chris Brown did was absolutely inexcusable. Rihanna reconciling with him would not change that fact. If they live happily ever after, it will not be excused. If she dumps him, he goes to prison and spends the rest of his life alone, it will not be excused. This is something that they both have to live with. If he decides to bring his anger issues to light (in the context of their relationship - not with us) and she decides she wants to pursue a healthy relationship with him, I see no reason to judge her for it.
Wow, I actually agree with Dalton here.


Hell, does anyone remember when Jackson Browne used to beat the shit out of Daryl Hannah back in the 1980's. They gave him a second chance.
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Old 03-04-2009, 04:52 PM   #119
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yes I remember

I saw the bruises first hand at a couple of backyard barbecues in Santa Monica
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Old 03-04-2009, 05:00 PM   #120
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yes I remember

I saw the bruises first hand at a couple of backyard barbecues in Santa Monica
No shit? Were you a friend of Ms. Hannah?
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