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Old 06-25-2009, 08:09 PM   #31
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Thank God. Our long national nightmare is over!
your nightmare is coming in october
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:10 PM   #32
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I think I have this whole thing figured out.

But guys... I do have some terrible news...


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Old 06-25-2009, 08:11 PM   #33
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Guys, the ninja that killed David Carradine just died.

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your nightmare is coming in october
I actually like you, but I like even more that it always comes back to football with us.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:11 PM   #34
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Nobody puts your baby in a corner, Mr. Orbach.

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Old 06-25-2009, 08:12 PM   #35
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NOW RICHARD SIMMONS???




Good night, sweet prince.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:15 PM   #36
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goldblum (not dead)
m j (toast)
carry on
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:15 PM   #37
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BREAKING NEWS: THE QUEEN OF EGYPT FOUND DEAD INSIDE HER TOMB!!
(Cairo) The Queen of Egypt was just found dead by her pet camel "Jockey" in Giza, Egypt. The Queen, 870, apparently died of choking when a large cock ring was lodged in her throat. Authorities are currently speculating she mistook the cock ring for a doughnut, though witnesses said it might have been a hot dog. Stay tuned for the latest developements on this breaking story.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:17 PM   #38
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no wai
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:17 PM   #39
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Harrison Ford? Jeff Goldblum too? WTF? Today is Black Thursday. The stars, they're falling like flies.
This is signature-worthy.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:18 PM   #40
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BREAKING NEWS: THE QUEEN OF EGYPT FOUND DEAD INSIDE HER TOMB!!
(Cairo) The Queen of Egypt was just found dead by her pet camel "Jockey" in Giza, Egypt. The Queen, 870, apparently died of choking when a large cock ring was lodged in her throat. Authorities are currently speculating she mistook the cock ring for a doughnut, though witnesses said it might have been a hot dog. Stay tuned for the latest developements on this breaking story.
Easy mistake
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:18 PM   #41
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This is signature-worthy.
I'm thinking about renewing my premium just so I can do it.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:18 PM   #42
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argh. never mind.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:20 PM   #43
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Abe Lincoln's assassination -- chicagotribune.com

Holy shit.

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Abe Lincoln's assassination
Chicago mourns as a funeral train brings the president's body home to Illinois.

By Bob Secter | Chicago Tribune

More than 100,000 grieving Chicagoans meet Abraham Lincoln's funeral train here and file past his casket.

After holding the nation together through its darkest hours, AbrahamLincoln celebrated the end of the Civil War on Good Friday by taking in "Our American Cousin" at Ford's Theater in Washington. As Lincoln and his wife, Mary, watched the comedy, young actor and Confederate sympathizer John Wilkes Booth slipped into their box and shot the president in the head at point-blank range. Booth vaulted to the stage, breaking his left ankle, and fled.

Mortally wounded, Lincoln was carried across Tenth Street to a boarding house, where at 7:22 the next morning he died. "Now he belongs to the ages," said Secretary of War Edward M. Stanton, one of many at Lincoln's bedside. Booth was later surrounded and killed by a posse in Virginia.

A bulletin in the April 15 Tribune announced: "Terrible News. President Lincoln Assassinated at Ford's Theater. A Rebel Desperado Shoots Him Through the Head and Escapes." An editorial two days later said: "President Lincoln, whose life was covered with glory by his faithfulness to his country, has ascended to his God. Pale in death, murdered by the hellish spirit of slavery, his body lies at the nation's capital--a new sacrifice upon our country's altar." The nation, or at least the North, grieved openly as the president's black-draped funeral train retraced in reverse the zigzag, 1,700-mile route Lincoln had traveled in 1861 on his journey from Springfield to Washington for his inauguration.

On May 1, the train arrived in Chicago, which Lincoln had known well as a lawyer and rising politician. A crowd of 100,000 people gathered at the trestle along the lakeshore where the train stopped. Lincoln's casket was transferred to a hearse beneath a Gothic memorial arch, and then 36 maidens in white circled the scene, each dropping a flower near the coffin. Mourners by the tens of thousands followed the hearse to the Cook County courthouse, where Lincoln's body lay in an open casket as 125,000 people filed by. On May 3, he was laid to rest at Oak Ridge Cemetery in Springfield.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:21 PM   #44
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Clearly a hoax. I can't believe you fell for that one, Lance.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:23 PM   #45
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Quote:
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Guys, the ninja that killed David Carradine just died.



I actually like you, but I like even more that it always comes back to football with us.
i mean is there anything else, other than all of these dead celebrities? Next time i rob a bank me and my posse are gonna dress up as the dead celebrities. Your gonna hear the news reporter say " John Wayne shot dead today in attempted bank heist in Houston Tx by bank security guard Don Knotts, who was also involved in the holdup"
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