My Favorite Movies - So Bad, They're Good
-The first five on this list are in order, the rest are just as I think of them:
1) Under Siege - I love this movie so much, I actually come close to ranking it among my favorite films of all time. It's Die Hard, but on about 10 different drugs. There is a stew goin' on here, and it's ingredients are Steven Seagal as a Navy Seal/Chef, Tommy Lee Jones as a biker terrorist and it's seasoned beautifully with a closing knife fight between the two. Genius.
2) Con Air - There are times where this film almost eclipses Under Siege, for me, but it's not the non-stop laugh riot that the former is. The pace slows a bit at times, but it's still got a few scenes that just can't be topped. Now why couldn't you put the bunny back in the box?
3) Teeth - This movie doesn't really fit into the "so-bad-it's-good" category so much as it's just an absolutely ludicrous feature. I first saw it on my quest to find the best bad horror movie out there. After it was over, my task was completed. This film uses a young girl who discovers she has a set of teeth in her vagina as an allegory for the dangers of abstinence-only education...what's
not to love?
4) The Room - It has to be here, so let's just get this over with. I almost don't like to give the movie such a place of "honor" because of how much Tommy Wiseau banks on his inabilities, but I'll let it slide in this case: I don't think any of us believe that he actually made it this way on purpose.
5) Last Action Hero - A favorite movie of mine when I was a kid, it actually only got better when I viewed it as an adult.
Jingle All The Way, aside, this is probably my favorite Schwarzenegger flick, mostly because I admire how good a job he did of thoroughly taking the piss out of himself.
Most of the rest of these are going to be horror movies:
6) Jennifer's Body - The plot is hysterical, the acting is mediocre and the gore is applied heavily. Any movie that makes a mockery of the typical teenage-slaughter-sex-fest films is usually going to be one I love. No exceptions here.
7) Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - I've never watched the MST3K episode of this, because I don't know why anyone would need to: This movie's funny enough on it's own.
8) Ulli Lommel's Zodiac Killer - I'm only going to choose one by Ulli Lommel, because I could probably list every one of his I'd seen here, otherwise. Pretty much this movie is another in a long history of films trying to give an answer for who the Zodiac killer was. This one, however, does something a little different, on its $50 budget. It takes place in the 2000s, and the antagonist isn't the Zodiac killer of old, but a young man who takes his inspiration for a killing spree from the original. However, it turns out that the Zodiac killer is still alive and angry that such shoddy work is being attributed to his name, and he comes for "our hero".
A combination of incorrect history, bad plotting, horrible camera work and a micro-micro-budget make this the worst movie I have
ever seen.
9) Christmas Evil - I don't like to tell people why I love this movie so much, because it will spoil the ending. There is about 45 minutes of straight-up
boring material in this film, but the beginning and most certainly the ending warrant sitting through the entire thing. If you're not up for it, however, X-Entertainment did a
LOVELY review.
10) Leprechaun 3 - The Leprechaun takes Las Vegas in this fantastic sequel to what was already a train-wreck of a franchise. I picked this one specifically because I have some fond memories attached with it from one St. Patrick's day viewing with my mom, oh so many years ago.
11) Bride of Chucky/Seed of Chucky - I'm putting these together because they're basically just a continuation of one another. Somewhere in any horror franchise, you have to make a choice: Do you continue to try to make serious movies, or do you begin to do as much as you can to turn the franchise into a joke? The Leprechaun movies and the Chucky films made the right choice. I'm beside myself with despair that the newest film coming out is apparently going back to trying to be a "real" horror movie.
So, there you are. I had to put 11 in there because I forgot about the Leprechaun films. Anyways, I'm sure I'll think of others I forgot later, but I thought I'd share for fun.
