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Old 04-26-2002, 11:49 AM   #16
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Spinny,

Please please please don't try to lose any more weight. When you said that you are a 7/8 and you hate the way you look and you want to lose 10/15 more pounds... please don't. It may be in your mind you look fat, but you're by all means NOT. It is so hard for American women (and men for that matter) to be happy with themselves when cultural society dictates that we all need to be a certain weight in order to be acceptable.

I sincerely hope that you can at least talk to someone about how you feel.

You can e-mail me if you'd like.
dkscully03@yahoo.com

Moonie
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Old 04-26-2002, 12:51 PM   #17
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Thanks Moonie (((hugs))) I know that I don't need to lose anymore weight, and that is the hard part... sometime's I feel like I WANT to. I watch television and see skinny girls walking down the street and I get a strong desire to look like that. It is a very difficult thing to deal with a low body image, and I am working on it....

I guess that knowing that I have a problem is the best thing..... I need to learn to love me for who I am.....



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Old 04-26-2002, 12:53 PM   #18
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Oh this is a subject that I could wax long and eloquent upon. But for the sake of the fact that I need to get my tall body outside and to the gym for my daily dose of exercise I shall keep it simple.

I've struggled with weight and body image since I turned 13. And the only source of comfort that I have really found is in becoming more educated and more insistent with my inner self-talk (the tapes you play inside your head) that I am ok. I picked up running and even though I'm probably the slowest runner around, it still makes me feel better, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and power. And I lift weights...something I would HIGHLY recommend for all women out there. Not only does it make you stronger and leaner (and helps boost your resting metabolism) but it helps make you feel more kick-ass, regardless of how you look in the mirror. I've found it worthwhile to invest in a personal trainer a couple of times in order to help with motivation. It's much easier to get into the habit of regular exercise when you've invested some $$ and you know that there is someone who is going to hold you accountable. But all that to say...ultimately, I'm aware that I'm never gonna look like a supermodel. I'm never going to have washboard abs and a killer butt. And guess what? That's becoming more and more ok with me. I'm a smart woman and I have goals in my life that transcend what a stupid magazine or glamour-obsessed society tries to tell me I "should" or "ought" to look, feel, or think. And at the end of the day, I'm the one who has to come home to myself.

One of my philosophies in life is this..."act like it and you will become it." I've found it works for a variety of things. On my first trip alone to Europe, I was scared shitless, but I acted as tho I knew what was going on...I acted as tho I was self-assured and guess what? Before I knew it, I WAS self-assured. I think it applies to a lot of things in life. The more I get into fitness as a way of life to make myself feel stronger and healthier, the more I do feel strong and healthy...and the happier I am when I look in the mirror. It may not be the outside "me" who has changed, but the inside "me". So that's my two cents. And it was longer than I expected.

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Old 04-26-2002, 01:56 PM   #19
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After reading some of the replies, I feel it is time to share my two cents. Interesting discussion so far.

I am 5'1" tall and I weigh 102 pounds. In high school, I played basketball and was very active in other sports, and I weighed 120 pounds. Since graduating, I have lost the 15 or so pounds over a period of 7 years, and not on purpose. I still tell people, the best diet ever is graduate school...you're too busy and stressed out to eat anything. I also have irritable bowel syndrome, caused by stress in my opinion, that causes me to eat smaller, more frequent meals. Because of IBS, I've also switched to a vegetarian diet, which has helped my symptoms. Bottom line---my weight and body fat percentage are within acceptable limits, albeit on the thin side.

So there's my history. But what I wanted to say was that I am frustrated. I recently went to my hometown for spring break. The first words out of everyone's mouth were "You're so skinny!" My father asked me if I eat enough. My mother has been accusing me of having anorexia. (I absolutely don't---I'm eating a cream-filled donut right now.) And this is just the tip of the iceberg. The nurse at my gynecologist's appointment made a snide remark about my weight. Waiters and waitresses always comment on it if I ask for a doggie bag, saying "I wish I had your self-control." I often receive comments such as "I'm trying to cut back on (insert fattening food here). You wouldn't understand!" and "It must be nice to be so thin!"

I know that 1/3 of the American population is overweight, and it has been un-PC to comment on a heavier person's weight for a long time. Notice I didn't use the word fat. However, I feel it works both ways. Just as some of the other girls have said that they wished people would just shut up about their weight, I feel the same way. For some reason, people think that if you're skinny, you're lucky, therefore it's fine to make comments about how much or what the person eats, etc. People don't understand that I can't control my weight very well any more than overweight people can. And like you guys, I don't want it brought up and talked about constantly. I am especially offended when I'm accused of having an eating disorder, especially if a family member says so.

I expect people here to even say, "What the hell are you complaining about?" which proves my point. But I just wanted to see what other people thought about the subject. And just to let you ladies, especially, know...just because you're thin doesn't mean people stop commenting on your body. At the end of the day, you're the one who has to live inside yourself. Unfortunately, no matter what size you are, people are going to feel that it's their place to comment. And that sucks, and that's all I'm trying to say.

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Old 04-26-2002, 02:03 PM   #20
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I don't understand why you women let these things get to you????

Why aren't you happy with yourselves the way you are?

Why can't you tell those people who comment on your weight to go to hell (in a much nicer way of course)????????

I believe in being healthy...living right...exercise and all that...but I'll be damned if I'm going to allow some unseen entitity to have control over my life...

This may seem harsh...but I just don't get it. If the women on the magazine covers are upsetting you...stop looking at them! If people's comments are bothering you...ignore them..

This also seems to be a 'white woman thing' btw...I have had African-American friends and they just don't seem to have this problem and laugh at white women who do (I know this cause as an Indian they let me in on some of their bull sessions...) They agree that living healthy is a good thing...but their lives do not revolve around it...

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Old 04-26-2002, 05:09 PM   #21
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I have been at both ends of the spectrum.

A skinny tall child , I got a little chubby in high school, then lost the weight in college and my 20's. By 30, I had gained about 20 extra lbs. And at 5'9 and at my largest I was 166 lbs. I have since lost about 15-20 lbs. Absolutely normal, right?

I moved from Missouri to Los Angeles 3 years ago and let me tell you. Out of most of my friends here, I am the largest one. They are all super skinny! It is hard sometimes but living in LA is tough if you are over a size 8! I don't really worry about it but it's pretty disgusting sometimes when you see Hollywood glamourize these women when they so obviously have an eating disorder.

Our society needs some real help.
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Old 04-26-2002, 07:24 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by oktobergirl:
I moved from Missouri to Los Angeles 3 years ago and let me tell you. Out of most of my friends here, I am the largest one.
Heh. I'm bigger'n you. Bigger and wider. LOL. Still, I know what you mean. Out of most of my friends, I'm the tallest and the biggest. I've always been that way... even when I was thinner. Being a size 10/12 at 5'10", that may be larger to some, but what my grandmother and my mom should have kept in mind was that I was only 14 years old and I had a higher muscle mass. I ran after school every day, I played sports. I was extremely active. I take after my father in bone structure, so my hands and feet are large, I have broad shoulders (I *hate* shoulder pads... I don't need to look like a football player, thankyouverymuch! ), and I have long legs and arms. Basically, built just like my dad. I even walk like him. Unfortunately, as a junior in high school, my mother felt that I was getting too fat - I was 5'11 3/4" and weighed 160 pounds - and sent me to the local Y to take aerobic lessons. She even forced me to get out on the rowing machine, set to the most resistant-setting and made me row for a half hour. I ended up with blisters across each hand, even if I was wearing gloves. To this day, I refuse to get on a rowing machine. I don't care what that thing does, I won't do it. My mother's misconceptions of my weight was one of the leading causes of my weight problem. I look back at my diary entries from when I was 13-16 years old, and I was obsessing back then about how much weight I needed to lose. My mom didn't help me any - she encouraged me to lose weight and made me get on the scale every day. I tried to tell her that muscle weighs more than fat, but she wouldn't see it. She thought a size 14 was too fat and I should be size 10. It would have been physically impossible for me to get into a size 10 at that height - my bone structure wasn't a size 10 anymore. I still had a flat stomach and yet I was considered fat. Yet, my mother pushed and pushed and pushed for me to lose weight. She even went so far as to go to the Y to see if I was actually participating in the aerobics classes. She didn't believe me. It was horrible. I started gaining wait midway through my senior year because of the major stress of my parents' divorce. Imagine my horror, about five years after I graduated (and about 75 pounds overweight) my mother saying how I would look good if I weighed about what I weighed as a sophomore in high school. But, I told her, you thought I was fat back then! She didn't remember putting me through all the mental anguish she put me through.

Quote:
Our society needs some real help.[/b]
Not only does our society need help, but parents should also realize the damage they can do to their children in regards to weight. My mother didn't realize she was doing what she was doing until many years later. In many ways, how we are brought up will dictate how we bring up our children. It's a viscious cycle that really needs to be broken - like oktobergirl said, our society needs help: we need some sort of education in the schools starting at an early age that will teach kids how to eat properly. Many of us were taught to "finish everything on our plates or we wouldn't get desert/couldn't leave the table" - how many of you feel guilty about leaving your plate half-full? I do all the time. What makes me sick is seeing the diet of the middle school kids I teach. Did you know most of my students live on eating chips and soda for lunch? We have a cafeteria, but most of that food is either tossed or not even taken. We used to have soda machines on campus, but they were taken away - all of the sodas were regular sodas filled with sugar. We took away their chips, so now they buy brownies and other sweets during lunch in the lunch lines. Most of the fruit the kids eat is canned fruit, not fresh. Instead of a soda machine, now there's a Power Aid or whatever - most of those contain sugar, too. No wonder my students are either bouncing off the walls or too tired to do anything. Half the students don't even eat lunch. Many of my girl students don't eat breakfast because it "makes them sick" or they "don't want to gain weight."

Society needs a huge kick in the ass when it comes to proper nutrition, and having a fast-food restaurant on every corner of every street (almost) in America isn't gonna cut it.

And, spinny, you're welcome for the hugs. I don't want you to think you're not supported here. you know I hang out in PLEBA more often than not, but I've been branching out and reading what some of the other folders have to say. Very insightful, if you ask me.

On a side note, I've found a really cool place to buy clothes and they're made to fit people who are of the larger persuasion. Lane Bryant. And you know what? They constantly show a fashion show in New York put on with KISS and let me tell you... some of those women had more rolls and more things bouncing around than I have... I figure if they have the guts to do that, I should. heh. Don't know if you'll find me in a nighty strutting down a runway anytime soon, but if I get up the gumption to do it, I'll let y'all know. LOL.

Oh, and dream weaver, please don't think we're complaining or whining about our weight and letting people dictate our lives. I'm getting more support out of this one thread on weight issues than I've gotten anywhere else. I just think it's a great way to get other viewpoints and to see what others are going through in these times we live in.

Moonie



[This message has been edited by moon_is_playing_tricks (edited 04-26-2002).]
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Old 04-26-2002, 08:52 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by oktobergirl:

I don't really worry about it but it's pretty disgusting sometimes when you see Hollywood glamourize these women when they so obviously have an eating disorder.

Our society needs some real help.
This is exactly one of the attitudes I'm trying to change, here. I can agree, there are probably a lot of starving actresses in Hollywood who are literally starving. But just because someone is skinny doesn't mean they have an eating disorder.

Moonie, thanks for sharing your experiences. Your post was an interesting read.

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Old 04-27-2002, 03:41 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by dream wanderer:
I don't understand why you women let these things get to you????

Why aren't you happy with yourselves the way you are?

Why can't you tell those people who comment on your weight to go to hell (in a much nicer way of course)????????

I believe in being healthy...living right...exercise and all that...but I'll be damned if I'm going to allow some unseen entitity to have control over my life...

This may seem harsh...but I just don't get it. If the women on the magazine covers are upsetting you...stop looking at them! If people's comments are bothering you...ignore them..

This also seems to be a 'white woman thing' btw...I have had African-American friends and they just don't seem to have this problem and laugh at white women who do (I know this cause as an Indian they let me in on some of their bull sessions...) They agree that living healthy is a good thing...but their lives do not revolve around it...

dream wanderer
It's a good point to say that we should tell people to shut the hell up, although it is easier said than done. But I think you're wrong in thinking that this controls our lives. Speaking for myself, I certainly think about thousands of other things more often than my weight. I just started this thread to discuss it, not obsess over it. And I'm not trying to say that I'm not happy with myself---I'm unhappy with the way people think they have the right to comment on my body whenever they feel the urge.

Also, I think it isn't just a women's problem. More and more, men are struggling with weight issues. I have known several men more obsessed with their weight than any woman. It's definitely a topic worth discussing, I think.

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[This message has been edited by HeartlandGirl (edited 04-26-2002).]
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Old 04-27-2002, 03:45 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by HeartlandGirl:
It's a good point to say that we should tell people to shut the hell up, although it is easier said than done. But I think you're wrong in thinking that this controls our lives. Speaking for myself, I certainly think about thousands of other things more often than my weight. I just started this thread to discuss it, not obsess over it.

And I only posted in this thread to give people some insight into the mind of someone who struggle's with their weight.


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Old 04-27-2002, 07:17 AM   #26
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Thought I'd throw in my two cents:

I was on the train one afternoon last year (actually going to a U2 concert) and I was listening to these three teenage girls sitting across from me. One of them said "I think I'll go anorexic" and I wanted to scream at them. I have dealt with both anorexia and bulimia for over 10 years. They are addictions. You think you are in control but you are not. You think you can stop but you can not. You think someday you will be "normal" but you do not realize that every day you will have to make a conscious effort to be healthy. To remind yourself that normal people eat at breakfast, lunch, and dinner (and do not throw it up afterwards). Hollywood holds up the image of the stick-thin actress but doesn't show the ugliness involved in eating disorders.

Spinny, you are in a dangerous place. I am constantly there, you will never think you are thin enough no matter if you are a size 7 or a size 0. Please seek help because I can tell you that this is not a road you want to go down. Like these girls on the train, I wanted to have an eating disorder when I was young (how messed up is that) but I never realized that this was a life-long thing. I wish I could go back and shake my younger self out of such a cocky attitude.

Now I am trying to get pregnant and suddenly I'm begging a body that I have done nothing but abuse to work for me. It has taken me over 10 years to realize that I will only have 1 body for my whole life and that I need to take care of it.

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Old 04-27-2002, 08:12 AM   #27
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I would consider myself a food addict in the way some are drunks or junkies. I HAVE to have food. It makes my day. It makes my life. I eat when I'm sad to cheer myself up. I eat when I'm happy to celebrate! I love to eat. I don't eat because I'm hungry, I eat because I like food, and it's good. Appetite suppressants wouldn't work for me, because I eat when I'm not hungry. I don't believe in the 'lifestyle modifacation' and 'change your eating habits' crap because no one is going to convince me I don't like chocolate, greasy burgers, gooey cheese, mayonnaise and pasta. I do, and I want to eat them. The taste of them makes my life more enjoyable. To think that I'd have to live the rest of my life on tasteless 'lowfat' foods, steamed or raw vegetables and water I'd just as soon keel over now.

So- do I have a weight problem? No! I eat, I get fat, no problem! LOL! Okay seriously, this is the story: when I was a teenager I was one of those girls who could eat anything and everything and it just didn't stick. I was naturally a good size. But as I got older, it stuck to me faster. Over several years, I had gone from 125 (I'm 5'6" and I was skinny) to 189. My Mom said I had really changed my 'look' and didn't look like myself. She said I looked like someone stuck a tire pump up by butt and blew me up, and she wanted to stick a pin in me like a balloon and let out all the excess air so I'd look like myself again!

My brother had been heavy since childhood, and he went on a diet and lost 50 pounds in three months. I said, if he can do it, so can I. I did! I lost down to 139, which was a good size for me and I was proud. I didn't want to be a bag of bones, just smaller. People who saw me couldn't believe it and told me not to lose more because my face was looking sunk in and my arms were boney. The air was out of the balloon at last.

How did I do it? I ate 1000 calories a day, regardless of what it was. If it was a double cheeseburger at 750 calories, I knew I could only have a bowl of cereal the rest of the day. After I started losing, it was okay to 'cheat' once every week to ten days and chow right on down at the buffet and it didn't show. Once in awhile does not hurt, don't deprive yourself or it will only make you feel more hopeless and wanting to give up. That is what made me give up in the past, all those diets that wanted you to weigh your broccolli on a little scale, or give you points in a book and then you only lose one or two pounds a week. Uh-uh. I needed to see results for my suffering! My cousin lost 110 pounds in six months the same way. Oh, I also walked, and rode a bike for exercize, but I never went to classes or joined any clubs and I never bought any how-to tapes. One more thing, and this is gross- my brother and I satisfied our taste for sweets with what he called the "Clinton Diet"- you know how Clinton said he smoked but didn't inhale? Well this was eating and not swallowing. No, I don't mean bullimia. I mean, bite it, chew it up, get the taste of it in your mouth, and spit it out. As disgusting as that may sound, it works, because you don't feel deprived of that glazed donut and you don't have to let your eyes water at the sight of German chocolate cake. You feel satisfied because your mouth got the flavor and the chewing, but the calories never hit your stomach. I'm telling you, this worked, and I couldn't have lost the weight without it.

Still, I love food. After staying slim for four years, I took up with a group of friends who liked to eat out. I ate, and I ate, and it was in places where there were big meals and I couldn't "Clinton" anything. Then I got back into snacking on donuts and cake at night. After two years of this, I had regained almost all the weight. But, I lost it again, with U2 as my inspiration. When I heard they were touring, in Jan. 2001, I thought, I can do this again, so I won't be fat at the shows. By May I was wearing my cool jeans again. It worked!

But- since the tour has ended, and I have become very depressed for several reasons and very addicted to the internet (duh!) I am starting to pack it back on. I haven't gained it all, but enough that I can't wear hardly any of my clothes, and my mom is calling me fat again. (BTW, all my siblings and their spouses have or have had some sort of weight problem, but I am the only one she has ever made fun of or criticizes) So for me, not for my Mom, or my husband, or U2, but for me, I'm going to try to fit into my cool outfits again by summer. Wish me luck, and good luck to everyone on this thread, no matter who you are or how you feel or what you want to do. And, yes, I know yo-yo dieting is VERY unhealthy. Maybe this will be the last time, but probably not.
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Old 04-27-2002, 02:03 PM   #28
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Oh Stormy.... please be careful.

As you said, it's not healthy to yo-yo like that. You're sending your body into major fits every time you lose weight so quickly.

I love food, too. I enjoy going out to eat, which was a luxury I didn't experience very much as a child. I gained most of my weight because of eating out - my main problem was I worked swing/grave yard shift, would go out to eat, then go to bed right afterwards. The shape I had after being on my college swim team for a year (I was down to a size 34 in men's jeans - which I believe is a 14 in women's, is it not?) was fast going away.

What we all have to consider, too, is that each of us is different - the diet that works on Stormy may not work on me, and the diet I try to live by may not work on Stormy.

I'm an naturally active person, but carrying all the weight around that I've been carrying is doing bad things to my knees and ankles. It hurts to run. I used to be able to run after school without a support bra. Wooo Hooo! Having size A/B breasts and being 15 years old, those were the days! Now I gotta strap myself in. Which is why I stick with swimming. I'm a killer backstroker - you wanna race? Just kidding. LOL

I'm sure a lot of you will agree with me on this: there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day. However, I suppose it's an excuse... I'm going to start swimming again - even if my racing suit is a bit on the tight side. LOL.

Thanks for the feedback on this, ladies (and gents). I'm feeling a bit better about myself.

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Old 04-27-2002, 02:46 PM   #29
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I guess it's time for my 2 cents....

First of all I'd like to recommend swimming to everyone as a great way to live heathlier. It is much easier on the joints and it works more muscle groups than running.

Anyway, I have never been "skinny" but thin instead. I was involved in competitive swimming for about 11 years. I have large shoulders and back thanks to backstroke and butterfly. I never had a body image problem until I entered college. Granted, it was my own fault that I gained weight. I have know many girls with eating disorders. I joined a "good" sorority on my campus and was horrified at the things girls did to thier bodies. One girl in my pledge class starved herself to the point of sterility in highschool and she can no longer have childern. Bulimia was the big one though. You could see the difference in the girls hair and teeth. One of my close friends has her teeth capped b/c she threw up so much she wore away the enamel on her teeth. Our chapter started a secret program to follow our sisters into the bathroom after meals to make sure they were not purging what they just ate. Some girls asked for this help, some didn't. I would say that there were about 15-20 girls out of 130 with eating disorders, maybe more. I'm not at all saying that sorority life is at all to blame. These girls came from all different backgrounds and many of them had these problems before coming to college.

I guess my point is if you suspect a friend has a problem don't be afraid to confront them. They might be too afraid to ask for help.
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Old 04-27-2002, 04:44 PM   #30
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I'm a dancer. What can I say?

I danced for recreation throughout my entire life. Not even competitively. Anyhow, I was lucky enough that the hours and hours of dance I spent each week combined with good genes alllowed me to remain very thin. I say 'lucky' because I know many who did not suffer the same fate as me.

When I got older (around or so) I was promoted to the Pre-Professional Program at my dance school--a big honour. More hours, harder work. Then we started weigh-ins. Each month we were weighed to 'check' our weights so that we would 'be aware.' I mean, for godsake, we were 13. Going through puberty. Obviosuly our weight shot up sometimes at strange intervals. There were times that I felt huge (at 5'5 and 110lbs, I wasn't). I saw so many girls go on diets, stop eating.

Over the years I've known my share of dancers. Girls who collapsed because of hunger. Teachers who have blatently told skinny girls that they were fat. Someone once told me that they attended the National Ballet of Canada and the toliets would overflow each night because of all the girls throwing up. I was an assistant to an examiner once adn she whispered to me, "You know, that girl is wuite good despite her 'problem.' It's a shame, really." 'She' was in reference to the best dancer in the class, who was bout 20lbs overweight.

Luckily for me my dance school wised up and started producing 'healthy' dancers as opposed to heroin waif chicks.

I'm now in 1st year university. I've gained about 4-7lbs this year. Do I care? Not particularly. I'm upset because I'm not as strong as I used to be (less dance). My mom tells me that I'm fatter than I used to be (I'm 125lbs and 5'5 1'2). Do I care? No. I'm only out to impress me.

I had a cousin that died of anorexia. I'm not letting that happen.


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