why why why the f*k are there pple like this in the world? (weight issues)

[mad1]

Why? WHY? WHY FUCKING WHY WHY WHY ? do some pple in this world feel the fuking need, the big furking need to, when ur feeling great about urself over anything, ie ? new car, kittens, blah fuking blah, do they need, I mean really feel the need to critisize u if ur ?thin or fat ? skinny or gigantic?

WHY WHY WHY?

ya know, Ive said before about my natural skinniness and Ive said if u all think Im happy with it u are so fuking wrong, Id give anything to be a size 12 and those unfortunate say theyd like to be my size?..
yet I feel weight trainin will make me develop that ?Geri Halliwell? look.

but for fuk sake, if its genuingly some-fuking-thing that cannot be helped because it runs in the family, or takes a long time to develop???why do pple feel the need to comment?

Concern? Yes??

But do they give a shit about ur feelings on the matter? No

Im sorry, but these pple do bring me down, and make me feel like Im unacceptable to the world JUST because my body type isn?t right?????????.it drives me one step closer to suicide almost because?..as I said???it takes a good bit, good time before any weight comes on??and gawd bless anyone who is heavy and is critised more?.I just so wanna hug them tight??.

I think the problem is Im not critical of anyone, I don?t give a shit about someones size, therefore don?t understand why pple out there do???..in an almost ?concerned comment? but don?t understand what pain they?ve inflicted on the person mentally.

Im sorry, I desperately had to vent cause one time a Director's wife made a comment, he approached me saying she wants to know if Im ok. Yes IM OK I have im-prooooooved........it just runs on my father's SI-IIIIIDE! (always having to explain to pple)

and then a manager said today ? You know, u are really really skinny?

Which made me just there and then want to run out in front of the next oncoming car?????..

Of course I WANT to prove them wrong, its just taking a reaaaaaaaaally long time??.its not happening fast????..but Im so fed up, Im sure some of u out there are on the same track, and I don?t mean that rude??????.but I am sending a gigantic, warm cyber-hug out to u???(((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

I am NOT looking for any 'Im sorry mads' or sympathy, Im just venting...........and Im extra sorry to anyone whose fed up with these threads - there may be a few out there.

I just wish I knew ?throw-back? lines to shut their gobs!

Let me get on with my life, please!

*edited to say sorry, realized the boob I made and hopefully BC will merge it! *

 

[daisybean]

I get the exact opposite...."why can't you lose weight?" "you'd be really pretty if you lost a few pounds." Which is weird, because I am not obese....although I used to be thinner.....in fact about a year ago I ran into an old friend from school and she asked me when I was due (as in being pregnant). It made me want to cry, because I was not pregnant.....I was like "Um, I'm not pregnant just fat."

But if it makes you feel better, I'd kill to be a size 12 also.

 

[Klaus]

Hello Mad,

Why? WHY? WHY FUCKING WHY WHY WHY ? ... WHY WHY WHY?

Why because they are (please put your favourite 4-letter word in here) intolerant.
They're only happy if you are like them. Why don't they care about your feelings? They are unable to see life from your perspective and feel the need to "help" the people - even if it dosn't help or help is unwanted.

Try to take these comments in a positive way (yeah - easier to say than to do, i know!).

1. They Care about you
2. They want to help you
(but they are unable to do that and they are unsensitive enough to realize that it hurts you)
Maybee you can catch them with a little humor and ask if they could cook for you - so they will still be unsensitive ***'s but at least you get free dinner
Klaus

 

[mad1]

hello Klaus


mate, , I know ur trying to put it into positivity but it dont quite work for me from a point of view that Im trying to help myself than have many pple round me commenting all the time........I mean, sure enough, comments like that can either make u depressed or make u determined, but IF like me, theres difficulty, it is hard to take it on board as the way u see it.....ya know? Plus this guy who said the 'really really skinny' thing actually has quite a big belly, and while tempted, I'd hardly turn round and say back to him 'Why really? And I bet you have to look in the mirror to find ur banana, right?'

for that would be worse and its not in my nature...........



ps - ur wearing a hat I once had!!!!!



Daisybean , u poor baby....u must have felt very much hurt....

 

[cell]

Hi Mad, I remember flipping out, getting all bent out of shape about a thread about weight, but I won't do that in here.

Yeah, I can almost see where your coming from, even though I am overweight. I have some in my family who keeps making comments on my weight, saying "I would really kill with the looks if I only lost a few more pounds..." or "if I just started working out again, I could really get alot more dates." My mom isnt as bad as she used to be about my weight, but still hints at it once in a while. My grandmother, on the other hand, is brutal when it comes to my size. I can almost get a bit sensitive about my weight, and I almost want to cry everytime she comes over. I just learned to ignore her. Its funny, guys I go out with don't care about my size at all, they like the way I look yeah, go figure...

I'm not obese , but im not Kate Moss either. When I'm ready to work out again (for toning, and my health), its up to me, not my family, friends or anyone else for that matter. I am at the point right now where I can just tell my family to go take a flying leap if I hear one more comment about my weight.

I feel the only way to accept myself is to feel good about myself, and I am still working on that. I think thats the key. I don't know if I made any sense, but the only thing we can do is love ourselves for who we are, inside, and out. And if we love ourselves, we dont think or care about what other people say.



*edited cuz i forgot the last sentence

 

[Not George Lucas]

Wake up! This is America! Fat = Ugly = Inferior.

Overweight and underweight people are second-class citizens. We don't really matter. It's not like we're actually people with feelings or anything.

 

[Mrs. Edge]

Hi Maddie,

I would venture a guess that most of these people are actually quite jealous, so putting you down and asking if there is something wrong with you makes them feel better about themselves.

Making comments about people's weight...it's so incredibly rude, I can't believe that people say these things.

 

[mad1]

yeah but, I have had a few shit comments from men, like Darren commenting that my hair, (in its natural state of kinkiness), looke like I'd been standing in a windstorm - therefore that comment immediately made me feel i dont suit my hair in its own - NATURAL- state!!!!

and this was a guy who commented today Mrs Edge.......

I dunno, I just dont get it......any girls who say it to me, which is rare, say, 'ur so skinny, ur so lucky', I tell them straight I hate it..........but theres a girl in our company who is slightly large and says she cant get a man.......well she has a lovely personality and a very sweet adorable face and lovely eyes and I hope, fuking hope that she lands herself a very nice natured man who accepts her and wont be looking round at thinner, more gorgeous girls til he finds one...............she is really lovely........and I dont turn round and say 'Maybe u should lose some weight girl, if u want to pull' - no way! NoWAY am I like that...........



its just, we should all accept each other as each other is, where ......in fact, the whole world is so screwed up now...........and my mum keeps reminding me, insecure pple critisize...............but there really really REALLY is no need for it...............from male, female..............to male, female...........

its a nasty world that likes to 'hide the rejects' and 'bring out the beautiful' - ya know..

ugh!

 

[sharky]

mads-- that sucks but the sad thing is that there are many more people you're size who aren't naturally like that. I have a friend who was anorexic not because she had a bad body image but because she WANTED people to ask her questions like "are you ok? you seem pretty skinny." so she could get attention. I was at her wedding last month after not seeing her for two years and she's skinnier. She told a friend of mine that she weighed less than 100 pounds because "the stress of the wedding" made her lose weight, which was a complete lie. Next time someone asks tell them "no, I'm naturally skinny and am not mentally unstable with a negative body image. thanks."

I'm glad I've got some love handles. Nothing wrong with it.

 

[Klaus]

Hi mad,

all i tried to say was the following - if the other's are wrong don't take their bs-talking serious.
Life is much too short to waste it with people who are sensitive as a rock

I'm allways surprised that people love to make nasty comments about most unimportant things (in my case mostly my haircut, some about my weight, some even about my car or my celphone).
I've never ever seen one making a negative comment about someone others personality - maybee because for fools like "them" (the ones who are responsible for silly comments) don't know what personality is at all.

So just ignore them or - if s.o. talks this way to you - smile, becaus you're happy that you're not that selfcentered or insensitive as them.

hello Klaus
ps - ur wearing a hat I once had!!!!!

I promise i didn't steal that hat from you

 

[Lilly]

now i have someone who cares for me no matter what i look like.

*edited to say sorry, realized the boob I made and hopefully BC will merge it! *

bc can't move it she's not a mod here on top of that, it's a separate issue and deserves its own thread, so it stays here.



mooooving on.

(didjya check that cow pun, damn i'm funny)

when i was a sophomore in high school i tore the lasting ligaments off my ankle while playing in a game for junior olympic volleyball. i was very athletic, so i was used to eating like an athlete and not gaining weight (o, other than developing HUGE musles ) but when you can't walk and you *still* eat like an athelete, holy crap the pounds come rolling in. when i relearned to walk this guy took interest in me and we went out on a date. the following week, he sent me a note calling me a fat bitch with a big mouth who deserved nothing but the worst in my life. o, did i forget to mention the picture similar to this:

he attached to the top? yep, my self esteem went SOARING after that.

last year i lost 42 pounds because i involved myself in studies so greatly and got sick for over a month.


i know what you mean maddie, any type of differentiation from normailty is shunned. that's just sick.


____
i was eating a cookie when i read this post

 

[ghetofabu]

I have given up on the whole issue of image thing. I am sick and tired of it. I have gained weight recently from slacking and not going to the gym. I just decided that I liked working out and that I would start working out again and that if I lost weight in the process woohoo yippy and so on. Of course a few days after I started I got this chest cold from hell that is about gone.


Well enough about me. I guess it is just a matter of image and blah blah blah blah of society and what is seen as "what looks good" in the Renaissance it was robust. Then there was the age of twiggy. It just depends on what society as a whole thinks. It sucks and but that is just the way it is.

 

[deep]

ghetto- i got that damn chest cold, too

Maddie,

So what, you are skinny.

You are PRETTY and SPUNKY. That is more important.

 

[ghetofabu]

It must be going around......damn chest colds arrrrg

Good pic.

you look like you could loose a couple of pounds..i kid i kid... just trying to keep it light people.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

I get the exact opposite...."why can't you lose weight?" "you'd be really pretty if you lost a few pounds." Which is weird, because I am not obese....although I used to be thinner.....

same here.

my grandmother has NO tact whatsoever. she was here for about four days last year over thanksgiving. at least TWICE she made really rude comments about my weight. i'm not some stupid fatass who needs to eat five big macs a day or anything, i eat like a normal person really, but unfortunately, i'd just rather want a burger and fries for dinner instead of like grilled chicken and roasted potatoes.

anyway, one time she asked me if i had ever considered taking metabolife. yes, she cares more about me getting skinny than me not developing heart problems. another time she asked me if i had tried slim-fast. i said yes, i have it for breakfast. condescendingly, she informed me i'm not supposed to EAT with it. no shit. my aunt (her daughter) is now disgustingly anorexic (she's about 5'8" and a size 0 she looks hideous) mainly due to her work. and my mom just gets all whenever she pulls that shit. luckily now, i have a husband who frankly doesn't care about my weight. he loves me the way i am.

anyway, maddie, i know what you mean about the first thing out of someone's mouth is your weight. it seems people are way too obsessed with looks. everyone's either too fat or too skinny. if you "gained a few pounds" like people suggest, then they'd start poking your side and go "hey, you could stand to lose a few pounds, eh?"

 

[Bonochick]

Re: now i have someone who cares for me no matter what i look like.

bc can't move it she's not a mod here on top of that, it's a separate issue and deserves its own thread, so it stays here.

I feel so...so...inadequate! *lol*

 

[Lilly]

kinking it up in FYM!

I feel so...so...inadequate! *lol*

hmm...she IS east of the mississippi...but not if you go all the way west in which case she is all the way west and it's my jurisdiction.

 

[Bonochick]

Re: kinking it up in FYM!

hmm...she IS east of the mississippi...but not if you go all the way west in which case she is all the way west and it's my jurisdiction.

 

[mad1]

First of all Deep, STOP POSTING MY PICTURE anytime there are subjects on this, thats twice now, and u know I told u off in PM, so just...............STOP it! My picture has nothing to do with the issue goin down, ok?

Right........stick to that 'Stars N' Stripes' pics that u like..............

ok, that out of the road.........the main issue as I said was pple who cannot quite help how they look physically and are put down, or have pple critisize them.........as I said, I would never do it...........if anything, i can think it in my mind......but would never use it verbally...........

look I have a chum in work.......and shes quite curvy, and everytime I say she has a fantastic figure, she moans and goes, 'Im too fat, Im too fat...' - she is not fat...........curvy - every mans dream.......big boobs.........great figure - something Id die for....................but even out of the blue she walks in and starts this.......'Im soo fat Jacqui....Im miserable'........

Now, u dont catch me walking in saying 'Im so skinny Sharon, Im miserable' - Id be attacked that Im lucky....by her................yet when I say Id love to look like her, she says 'no you wouldnt!'

so like .................the way girls get on with each other........yet we're 'supposed' to be bitchy behind each others back...........

I even wondered if any guys in this forum were critisized for how thin or big they are...........but I dont think it would be as seriously bitchy as girls doing it...............

its terrible........

I hate it.....

AND another thing.....my mum sometimes gets on my nerves, because on TV progs like Oprah, or any docs whatever.....if pple come on skinny, fat, large earrings, heavy make-up blah blah........she starts sayin 'look at the hack of that there!'...or whatever...........and Im like 'Mum, stop it, dont do that.....dont be like that......you would NOT like to be sitting there with pple commenting on you like you are at them'......

It truly bothers me she can be like this...........I try to ignore it, but always end up tellin her to stop and act how she herself would like to be treated......

Im sure, a large person sitting on a bench somewhere could be like that due to medication, or unhappy and truly cannot control.......yet pple point and laugh.

Or a skinny person somewhere could be very depressed over issues unknown to us and unable to help herself, or could be ill............yet pple point and laugh.

I know that Im a person who wont judge pple until Ive met them...............and when I look at thin/large pple, I dont laugh or comment......as Im on the same boat as them.........and, if we're all fairly similar......yes, its a damn struggle.........

Its just a question of why pple out there.............cant accept......and let others be.

 

[ghetofabu]

My mom has a thyroid(sp?) condition and it has caused her to gain some weight. She has to take medictaion for the rest of ther life. I feel sad for her sometimes. I don't want anyone talking about my mom like that. I think I would snap if I ever saw that happen. My mom does not talk bad about anyone and does not have a mean bone in her body and is sensitive and if she heard someone talk about her like that I know for a fact she would start to cry. She has a tredmill now though and I know she will use it.


I have some protection issues when it comes to my mother

 

[Mrs. Edge]

Speaking of weight issues, I just wanted to mention that I picked up a copy of Richard Simmons' autobiography in a book sale many months ago, and just recently started reading it. I'm about half way, but enjoying it ENORMOUSLY, this guy really understands food obsession (something that I definitely have!)

Here is an example of a guy who suffered from weight problems, teasing etc. He has a hilarious way of telling stories, and I highly recommend it!

 

[cass]

Body image...too fat , too thin? impossible to get it right

maddie
again
I could tell you a story.....
but I'd rather just you.
But I hear you and it's tough and it sucks...
great big fecking ignorant thick-headed, insensitive,blind, shallow, hair-encrusted balls, doesn't it?

No matter how little I eat, I can't change my shape.(some people are starting to ask am I sick.................probably )


I had only seen one blurry photo of you before....!WOW!You are much much prettier than me...deadset, no joke............don't get me started on my flaws, it's too depressing.
me &U too

 

[Danospano]

Mad1, I can sympathize with your worries and aggravation. Don't worry about though, because millions of people would like to be thin, but can't get off the weight. As long as you're healthy and have an optimistic attitude those idiots won't be able to bring you down. Those morons have peanut sized brains, due to their inability to know how rude they are, and due to their need to be vocal about it.

And one last point: I've always thought Geri Halliwell was hot, and that's an understatement!

 

[Danospano]

Okay....now that I've read through the preceding posts (and seen your picture), I must say that you are not "really, really skinny".

That may not float your boat, but it is TRUE. You look slightly thinner than an average girl, but by no means deathly. In fact, I'd wager that a lot of guys hit on you. You're very pretty, and whatever you're doing, keep it up

 

[pax]

Maddie, you're lovely!

My size...you've seen Bridget Jones's Diary? I'm shaped a lot like Renee Zellweger was in that movie: not *heavy*, really, but, well...curvy, let us say. And I look terrible in pictures.

I agree that most Western societies tend to be pretty size-ist, despite the fact that the average (for example) American woman is five-foot-four and weighs 145 pounds--which is not exactly bone-thin. I guess that would come out to about a size 12. I'm a little shorter and smaller than that and I wear and 8 or a 10, so...

But why are we size-ist? I have a theory. America's Calvinist past rewards extrremes; specifically in this case, extreme self-denial and discipline. Just like our Calvinist ancestors believed that only an elect few can go to heaven, we retain the belief in that only a select few can be called beautiful. And that's just silly. I'm damn hot. And slightly drunk. But what the hell.

 

[daisybean]

Maddie I totally agree with you. I think that it is horrible that society allows "fat jokes" to be acceptable. It's a shame that people don't realize that sometimes their weight is something they can't control. I hate that a person's worth is dictated by their size. I hate that in America it is considered obsene to be over a size 8. Of course the media doesn't help....on one of those annoying tabloids....they had a picture of someone and I can't remember who...with the caption "*name of star* pigs out and friends are worried about her getting fat" and to be honest, I didn't see anything wrong with the picture, other than the fact that she looked healthy and not sickly and thin. I personally get revolted when I look through "People" or "Us" and see their "fashion and style" sections....these women look horrible....skin and bones, drawn faces and grey teeth... Yet somehow they are rewarded for having eating disorders and being unhealthy.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

. I hate that in America it is considered obsene to be over a size 8.

I think that people in america have no concept of what different sizes and weights look like and they never seem to take height into consideration. The is supposed to maybe be something like a size 3 or 5 and 110 pounds maybe? yeah that's fine if you're 5'2", but if you're 5'9" that's skin and bones. I wear a size 10 and weigh 135 lbs and I'm not fat, not even chubby. I'm 5'7" and that is a perfectly healthy weight for my height, if I was to lose 25 lbs to get down to 110 I would look like I had cancer or something and probably be really sick and weak. I say that people have no concept of these sizes because whenever people find out what size I wear they usually say "no way, you couldn't possibly wear that size" I just go well I am fairly tall and I'm larger on bottom then on top.


I know how you feel Mad1, although I don't have people telling me that I'm too skinny I get comments about being too pale. Sometimes they're tactful and just concerned that I'm not feeling well, but other times they can say things like "ewww you're so pale" I find that extremely rude. I would never go up to someone and say ewww you're skin is so dark. Damn it I'm Irish, we're supposed to be pale!

 

[Angela Harlem]

Its not about size, like ILuvLarryMullen said, its just plain rude to comment on someone's appearance. Size matters as much as hair colour or height. We just tend to be a little more uptight about weight, therefore making it rude to comment I think. What problem we have with our perceptions of ourselves is ours alone. People will rarely ask you what they think of their size, so why volunteer this kind of information? Not everyone aspires to be slim, not everyone cares that they are or are not. Some people do, and when they do care, it is their issue alone to be having.

 

[BAW]

its just plain rude to comment on someone's appearance.

My husband's best friend picked up one of our wedding photos (7 years and 30 pounds ago) and had the nerve to say to me "No offense Char, but what happened to you? You look great here...what happened since then? Just how much weight have you gained?"

No offense??

I wanted to ask him what happened to all of his once thick head of hair (I knew him in high school) but I didn't want to stoop to his level. Ass.

People just have no business commenting on someone's weight, whether they're considered too thin or overweight. It's just rude.

 

[Mrs. Edge]

Could you imagine the uproar if this song were released today? It was popular in my parents' day (yes, I have old parents!)

(chorus 1)
Oh, I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me.
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat for me.
I don't want her, you can have her,
Please do that for me.
She's too fat, she's too fat,
She's too fat for me.

I get dizzy, I get numbo
When I'm dancing
With my Jum-Jum-Jumbo.

(chorus 2)
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me.
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat for me.
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat,
She's too fat,
She's too fat for me. Oh,

(repeat chorus 1, then)

She's a twosome, she's a foursome
If she'd lose some,
I would like her more some.