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Old 04-15-2008, 12:15 AM   #136
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Originally posted by acrobatique


It's not available truly for the bisexual who wants to marry their same sex though, is it?

I have read your thoughts and think you make alot of valid points. I'm not arguing with you really, we pretty much agree I'm just saying that in the redefinition of marriage there are other questions raised..


i don't think it's a redefinition so much as it's an expansion and a way for marriage to be more inclusive.

bisexuals have every interest in the extension of marriage rights to all.
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:16 AM   #137
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Originally posted by diamond


that turn you on, baby?
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:20 AM   #138
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[q]Explain to me how a bisexual person gets to retain their identity while remaining monogamous?[/q]



ah, now this is very interesting to me.

i suppose the idea behind marriage is the legalization of a commitment based upon love and sexual attraction. this seems to imply monogamy, or at least fidelity (certainly many couples are in happy open marriages).

you're right, there is a choice here.

i'm a male. i like all sorts of men. i'd argue that monogamy is hard for many men, possibly more so than it is for women. but i've chosen to commit myself to one man. perhaps this is going against my human nature. in fact, i'd say it is going against nature, to be monogamous. but i've made that choice because i've decided that i gain more from being monogamous and committed than i would from being single and free-wheeling. monogamy is not for everyone. not at all.

but being married seems to necessarily connote that a particular decision has been made.
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:22 AM   #139
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Originally posted by Irvine511




that turn you on, baby?
a bit freaky..


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Old 04-15-2008, 12:24 AM   #140
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
[q]Explain to me how a bisexual person gets to retain their identity while remaining monogamous?[/q]



ah, now this is very interesting to me.


i'm a male. i'd argue that monogamy is hard for many men, possibly more so than it is for women.
these 2 things we agree on.

men are wired differently.

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Old 04-15-2008, 12:26 AM   #141
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Yes, but do you see the difference? By choosing to be married / monogamous, you still retain your identity a gay male in a gay relationship - just not one who gets to sleep with many men. We probably agree "so what" here, that's the same choice that heterosexual couples ostensibly make. However, if a bisexual person "chooses" to be in a married / monogamous relationship, they pretty much have to forego that other 'side' of them, don't they?
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:36 AM   #142
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Quote:
Originally posted by acrobatique
Yes, but do you see the difference? By choosing to be married / monogamous, you still retain your identity a gay male in a gay relationship - just not one who gets to sleep with many men. We probably agree "so what" here, that's the same choice that heterosexual couples ostensibly make. However, if a bisexual person "chooses" to be in a married / monogamous relationship, they pretty much have to forego that other 'side' of them, don't they?


no, i don't sleep with many men. i sleep with one man. i've made that choice, and that is my identity. i'm a gay male in a monogamous relationship. *** ETA: i saw you edited, so i'll just leave this in but i realize you weren't implying that i'm not monogamous

it does seem that if a bisexual wishes to be married, for the time being, he will have to find an opposite-sexed partner. if marriage equality is realized, a bisexual will be able to choose one other partner, male or female.

this doesn't include sexual monogamy, though. a married bisexual can have sex with whomever he/she wants insofar as their negotiated allows. for the bisexual to be married to more than one person, that then becomes polygamy, which is illegal for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with sexual orientation.

the point remains that a bisexual has access to marriage. if you feel that you cannot be authentically bisexual without being with two other people, either marriage is not for you, or you need to state your case on the inclusion of multiple partners in a marriage. this is not an issue of sexual orientation.
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:38 AM   #143
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Originally posted by A_Wanderer
Afraid of the AIDS?
No, because I wasn't a sister, but always recruited to be one by over zealous fellows it seemed.

I think it had to do with my dancing in some of the more exclusive alternative clubs when I did a little of this on the dance floor, back in the days of my youth:

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plus a little of this:

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Got you the whole package:

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Old 04-15-2008, 12:46 AM   #144
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Please. Stop.

Your constant bragging about the gays trying to get into your pants is too much.
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:49 AM   #145
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
the point remains that a bisexual has access to marriage.
I don't want to fan the fires here, but you seem to be missing that bisexuality isn't a choice anymore than being gay is a choice. I should think you would find it offensive if I suggested that you have a choice to marry someone of the opposite sex, right? Certainly, you could, but then you'd be denying your natural orientation, wouldn't you? How is that any different for a bisexual person?

Given that a. marriage between same sexes is illegal and b. that a bisexual person really has no greater access to realizing a committed relationship to who they are attracted to than does a gay person, there is no choice for such a person that is in line with the aims of equal access, is there?
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:54 AM   #146
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Quote:
Originally posted by acrobatique


I don't want to fan the fires here, but you seem to be missing that bisexuality isn't a choice anymore than being gay is a choice. I should think you would find it offensive if I suggested that you have a choice to marry someone of the opposite sex, right? Certainly, you could, but then you'd be denying your natural orientation, wouldn't you? How is that any different for a bisexual person?

Given that a. marriage between same sexes is illegal and b. that a bisexual person really has no greater access to realizing a committed relationship to who they are attracted to than does a gay person, there is no choice for such a person that is in line with the aims of equal access, is there?

you're not fanning the fires. we're having what i think is an interesting discussion.

i don't understand why you feel that bisexuality necessarily connotes polygamy.

yes, i have the choice to marry someone of the opposite sex, but it would never be a person that i authentically loved in the way that i love the person of the same sex. *that* would be a mockery of the institution.

a bisexual, by definition, is capable of developing loving, romantic relationships with either sexes. no, a bisexual does not get to choose who he falls in love with, but it is as likely that he will fall in love with a same-sexed person as it is an opposite-sexed person. there for, if he chooses *one* person, and that person happens to be opposite-sexed, then, yes, he has access to the institution of marriage.
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:54 AM   #147
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Quote:
Originally posted by martha
Please. Stop.

Your constant bragging about the gays trying to get into your pants is too much.
Comedic relief?
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:54 AM   #148
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Quote:
Originally posted by acrobatique
Given that a. marriage between same sexes is illegal and b. that a bisexual person really has no greater access to realizing a committed relationship to who they are attracted to than does a gay person, there is no choice for such a person that is in line with the aims of equal access, is there?
Equal access to a formally monogamous relationship? No. But why would you want that access if you weren't interested in monogamy anyway?
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Old 04-15-2008, 12:56 AM   #149
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Got you the whole package:

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r...g?t=1208234250


lucky for you, there are chub chasers out there.
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Old 04-15-2008, 01:04 AM   #150
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511


i don't understand why you feel that bisexuality necessarily connotes polygamy.
Ok, one more time for the record, I am not saying that to be bisexual necessitates polygamy. I'm saying that being bisexual can put one at odds with the textbook definition of marriage. Polygamy is a term society is forcing into our discussion. I don't consider what I am describing polygamy. I'm not going to talk to it any more on those grounds, so I'll just end my side there.
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