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Old 08-19-2002, 09:32 AM   #1
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Why does this happen?

Why do good kids who have their whole lives ahead of them die too soon? Why do their family members and friends too young to deal with this kind of grief have to experience this kind of pain?

My 17 year old son's close friend Josh, only 16 years old, was killed in a horrible car accident this weekend, less than 5 minutes from home. Saturday night/Sunday morning at 3:00 a.m., he was a passenger in an apparently speeding car. The sprinklers in the center median had come on and the road was wet, the car hydroplaned and hit a tree and Josh, not wearing a seatbelt, was thrown through the front window and killed instantly. I was watching the 10:00 p.m. news last night and was shocked to see the accident scene on TV. The car was absolutely destroyed. I don't know if Josh would have survived even with a seatbelt. It was horrible.

This was a good kid, someone who spent a lot of time at my house. He was the first friend my son brought home who I liked instantly. He had also become close friends with my younger son recently during summer school. My 17 year old is devastated and I know there is nothing I can do to convince him that this happened for a reason when I don't believe that myself. I don't feel right focusing on the fact that they were speeding and not wearing seatbelts right now, because my son will take this as me saying it was Josh's own fault he died.

The real tragedy, other than a young life taken too soon, is the fact that Josh lost his parents at a young age and was being raised by his grandparents. He has older brothers and sisters but as the youngest, his grandparent's doted on him. I can't even imagine how they must feel right now. All the years they spent raising and loving and worrying about Josh, only to have him taken away at 16. WHY?

And I know the worst is yet to come, when the memorials start and I have to take my kids to a funeral they aren't prepared for.

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Old 08-19-2002, 11:30 AM   #2
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My deepest sympathy for you, your son, and Josh's family.
I hope your son is okay and well. And I hope that his family is also well. It's a really tough thing to go through. Emotional as well stressfull and painfull. My prayers go out to you and your son, as well as, Josh's family.

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Old 08-19-2002, 11:41 AM   #3
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That is so horrible.. Char.. I'm very sorry to hear that.. (((( hugs )))). Your son must be just devastated. I cant even imagine losing a friend at such a young age.

I totally understand that you dont want to focus on the speeding and no seat belt thing with your son but I think after some time maybe you should. I dont think he would take it as it was Josh's fault. But it's an important lesson. Unfortunately as hard as it may be, people learn from tragedies like this.

Things have sure changed. When I was 16 I had a curfew of 11:00 pm.

You and your family will be in my thoughts.
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Old 08-19-2002, 12:56 PM   #4
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I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with your and Josh's families.
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Old 08-19-2002, 12:59 PM   #5
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God works in mysterious ways

Thats so sad

I hope your family and joshs' family will be okay
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Old 08-19-2002, 01:00 PM   #6
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(((charlene & family))) I am so sorry about the loss of your son's friend. Josh sounds like he was such a good kid from your description, and everyone who was blessed to know him must be hurting so much right now. I know his story has made at least one person who didn't know him cry (me).

Josh, his family & your family will be in my thoughts and prayers during this heartbreaking time.
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Old 08-19-2002, 01:03 PM   #7
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i'm truly sorry to hear this char. i, too, lost a very close friend at 17 in nearly the exact same way. his seatbelt was broken and he was in a horrific accident leaving my house. you probably do not even need to make this an issue in order for your son to learn from it. i remember that i certainly did. i'm sorry that your kids have to face that kind of pain, and i'm sorry that you have to witness it. feel free to drop me a pm. i still remember very clearly that moment in my life and would love to offer any kind of support. josh's and your family are certainly in my thoughts in prayers. take care.
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Old 08-19-2002, 01:08 PM   #8
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(((((((((Charlene and Family))))))))))))

That is such a horrible thing to go through.....

Losing someone so young is one of the toughest things to deal with. It usually defies any explanation, logic or rationality...but try not to put the onus on speed or seatbelts, like you said he probably would have died anyway. It was a horrible and tragic accident, and perhaps it was for the better that Josh died instantly, he did not suffer, and is in a better place now.

Do what you can to help your boys out during this time and even try to extend yourself to the Grandparents, because this is the second time they have lost a child at an early age.
"....But all I ever hear from you is "
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Old 08-19-2002, 05:14 PM   #9
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Thank you to all who replied with their thoughts and prayers. Your kind words have given me a smile on what has been a horrible day of visits to the accident site and a house full of grieving teenagers. My younger son is taking it very, very hard and is trying to hold it all in and be strong but I can tell he's about to crack.

And if things could get any worse, I was just told that Josh and the driver had been drinking and the driver is going to be arrested when he gets out of the hospital. So now we have a dead 16 year old and an 18 year old whose life is basically over because he made the decision to drive drunk.

We were going through pictures to scan and copy for all the friends to share and as I was looking at pictures of Josh laughing, clowning around with french fries stuck in his nose, riding his skateboard and just hanging out with my son and their friends, I was struck by the fact that just 48 hours ago, he was alive and well, not knowing how short his time on this earth was to be. I am so overwhelmed by sadness right now

If any teenagers are reading this, please realize that this is why your parents ask you where you are going and who you will be with. This is why we set curfews and talk to you about drinking and drugs.

And to everyone, please don't ever drink and drive.
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Old 08-19-2002, 08:28 PM   #10
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it's a rough time to be about

char dear...i don't know why, but lately, God has been working in very mysterious ways. He took my friends baby from her own womb. and this...it's just as terrible. so senseless!

to you and yours
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Old 08-21-2002, 02:01 AM   #11
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i am also 17 years old....and quite frankly, it's hard to imagine going through such a horrible thing as losing a friend.....you and your son are in my prayers, as well as all who knew him.
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Old 08-21-2002, 09:52 AM   #12
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It is times like these when words fail us.
But you are not alone, for I will keep you in my
and prayers.

" We've got to carry each other"

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