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Old 02-01-2006, 05:22 PM   #16
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Originally posted by Dreadsox
I would ask the techer to put a behavior modification plan in place. I would ask for non-verbal cues to be used to not draw classroom attention to the child, and let the child know he is off task. I would ask for a connor's scale evaluation to be done by the teacher. I would if this had never been an issue before ask the teacher to talk with prior years teacher's to see if they had any input as to how to help.
:taking notes: Sounds like good advice--thank you. Actually, we are a bit worried that our younger son might have such problems someday--he's a happy kid and very, very bright, but he is extremely distractable and not good at staying focused when something funny or upsetting or exciting happens. He's only 5 now, so it's a bit premature to worry much about it. But even his 3 year old sister clearly has a much bigger attention span than he does. The funny thing is, he exhibits more intense concentration than our other two put together when something really draws him in--he can spend hours just looking at bugs in the grass through the magnifying glass we gave him, but then try to keep him focused on learning to write his name!

What is a Connors scale evaluation?
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Old 02-01-2006, 05:31 PM   #17
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He's only 5 now, so it's a bit premature to worry much about it. But even his 3 year old sister clearly has a much bigger attention span than he does. The funny thing is, he exhibits more intense concentration than our other two put together when something really draws him in--he can spend hours just looking at bugs in the grass through the magnifying glass we gave him, but then try to keep him focused on learning to write his name!


he sounds like ... a boy!!!

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Old 02-01-2006, 05:38 PM   #18
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he sounds like ... a boy!!!

We heard similar comments when getting our son diagnosed (with Aspergers). Many symptoms are treated as just normal boy behavior and legitimate diagnoses are left undone.
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Old 02-01-2006, 05:51 PM   #19
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Originally posted by Irvine511
he sounds like ... a boy!!!
Oh I know, and I'm probably totally sounding like a neurotic Jewish parent here. It's just we both remember having sibs like this who did indeed go on to have serious focus problems in school. ("Einstein, you shall never amount to anything!") Whereas his older brother, strange though it sounds, actually likes following instructions and having an adult at his shoulder, guiding him through the bug-watching or the handwriting or whatever. It's just sad how often these totally normal and unextraordinary personality tendencies wind up getting pathologized nowadays.

As a parent I am very, very appreciative of all the tailored-to-individuals behavior modification that good teachers do above and beyond the academics, because I understand how much patience, ambition and unfailing concentration it takes to pull that all off. Every kid is in love with something--it just sometimes takes *a lot* of determination and effort to figure out what that is, and how it might be channeled into a positive attitude towards learning in general.

Sorry to hear about your difficulties getting your son diagnosed, nb. I hope they have have good support for kids with Asperger's in your school system--I have heard some really angering stories from parents here about the apparent local lack of that. Yes, it's certainly also true that developmental disorders are more common than they used to be--all the more reason for teachers to be professionally responsible in how they evaluate students' developmental progress, and for parents to respond in a proactive way.
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Old 02-01-2006, 06:18 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by yolland

:taking notes: Sounds like good advice--thank you. Actually, we are a bit worried that our younger son might have such problems someday--he's a happy kid and very, very bright, but he is extremely distractable and not good at staying focused when something funny or upsetting or exciting happens. He's only 5 now, so it's a bit premature to worry much about it. But even his 3 year old sister clearly has a much bigger attention span than he does. The funny thing is, he exhibits more intense concentration than our other two put together when something really draws him in--he can spend hours just looking at bugs in the grass through the magnifying glass we gave him, but then try to keep him focused on learning to write his name!

What is a Connors scale evaluation?
We too have some concerns with our son. He has sensory issues....for example when he was younger he thought everyone was yelling at him. He often thinks that tub water is extremely hot when it is not.

Five is a bit too early to be worried about it.

Take my advice please....READ READ READ to him daily. 10-20 minutes a day will give your child such an advantage.

Get him to know his alphabet capitals and lower case, and the sounds the letters make. He will be fine.

A Connor's scale is a tool used by a teacher to evaluate for ADD/ADHD....it is interpreted by the school psychologist. I would not even bring it up at 5 years old though.

Does your public school have full day kindergarten or half day?
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Old 02-01-2006, 06:27 PM   #21
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And I resent the idea that women are quicker to medicate than men. That implies that we are less patient with studens.
It could very well be a bias on my part as well....I have only known one other male elementary school teacher in 10 years....and three schools.
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Old 02-01-2006, 06:28 PM   #22
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Originally posted by yolland
It's just sad how often these totally normal and unextraordinary personality tendencies wind up getting pathologized nowadays.


excellent observation.

(and i was being funny-cute before)
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Old 02-01-2006, 06:32 PM   #23
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[Q]It's just sad how often these totally normal and unextraordinary personality tendencies wind up getting pathologized nowadays.[/Q]

There is a lot of this going on these days....

I think there are so many developmental milestones that if people do not make when their peers do we assume there must be something wrong.....

and yes sometimes there is....

what I find frustrating as a new administrator is that there are times when it does not take a rocket scientist to know that there is something wrong but it takes SO LONG to actually do something to effectively help the child.....
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Old 02-01-2006, 06:34 PM   #24
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It could very well be a bias on my part as well....I have only known one other male elementary school teacher in 10 years....and three schools.


it is unfortunately how few men go into elementary education, and bluntly, and this was said to my face, some of it is straight-up homophobia -- if i teach 2nd grade, everyone will assume i'm gay -- and i say this having taught pre-school and worked with grades K-2 where, yes, the only male teacher in K-2 was gay (i was an intern).

(and if i ever deside to totally change my career, i'm going to be a kindergarten teacher).

the best teacher i ever had, hands down, was in 2nd grade. it was a male, and i think that was part of it -- while i certainly had a father who was an active participant in my life, there is something about continuous male attention that goes beyond the novelty that can be good for many kids, especially boys. he simply understood who i was and how i learned. i was a very successful student in elementary school, and that had everything to do with him. i think he was a good teacher, first and foremost; however, his gender, in my case at least, probably had much to do with how effective his teaching was.

(in fact, just thinking about it makes me want to track him down and tell him so).

the other thing i have to add about male teachers is that they seem to be either great, or awful. don't know why that is.
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Old 02-01-2006, 06:42 PM   #25
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it is unfortunately how few men go into elementary education, and bluntly, and this was said to my face, some of it is straight-up homophobia -- if i teach 2nd grade, everyone will assume i'm gay -- and i say this having taught pre-school and worked with grades K-2 where, yes, the only male teacher in K-2 was gay (i was an intern).

(and if i ever deside to totally change my career, i'm going to be a kindergarten teacher).
There is not just that thought in people's minds.....

It has been said to my face as well....and people have made other comments as well.

It is sad, but I believe it in part to the fact that the job does not always pay what a "man" is expected to earn.
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Old 02-01-2006, 07:02 PM   #26
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Does your public school have full day kindergarten or half day?
Full day only. Though our synagogue does offer a half-day kindergarten program as an extension of their preschool. Would that be better, perhaps? I am confident of the quality of their program, but I'd worry a bit about him starting 1st grade with a roomful of kids who already know each other from public kindergarten. Probably an unwarranted fear though--his social skills are actually pretty good.
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Old 02-01-2006, 07:05 PM   #27
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We had the opposite problem...

We have no full day kindergarten....so we paid to send her to one....She adjusted FINE to 1st grade and made new friends.

We have seen students who are NOT ready for a full day program....

Sadly here in MA there are not a lot of options though....we are pretty much a 1/;2 day state.
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Old 02-01-2006, 09:28 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dreadsox


There is not just that thought in people's minds.....

It has been said to my face as well....and people have made other comments as well.

It is sad, but I believe it in part to the fact that the job does not always pay what a "man" is expected to earn.


and gay is the kinder term.

the other word beings with a "p."
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Old 02-01-2006, 09:38 PM   #29
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It is sad, but I believe it in part to the fact that the job does not always pay what a "man" is expected to earn.
Rage...building...

lol. This reminds me of when I applied for a mortgage this past summer. Two different people, one man and one woman, from 2 different companies said to me when I told them I was a high school teacher "Oh, well, that'll be a nice supplemental income when you get married."

I should have hung up on them.
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Old 02-02-2006, 08:07 PM   #30
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I brought my 14 year old son to his pediatrician yesterday to an appointment that we scheduled in November just to have another person outside of school besides me care about his education. He brought up the article posted here to my son, but didn't mention the part about my son not having a male in his life to look up to. My son is very charming and very bright, but has a history of not doing his homework - which can turn an “A” or "B" into a "D". I keep hoping he will realize how important his effort is, talk to him at length about it, but the pattern of ditching homework continues. His Dad is part of his life on a regular basis, but has taken a back seat to being concerned about the day to day discipline and effort a parent should be taking while the kids are growing up. When it boils down to it, Dad's views are 1) he made it OK without a full college degree and 2) the schools pass out too much homework for kids to do.

My 13 year old daughter is failing some of her classes. All of her teachers site the fact that she doesn't focus and that she doesn't do her homework. After having issues since 1st grade and having her tested for learning disabilities in 3rd grade, I finally put her on meds at the end of 4th grade per doctors advise. Her social life is better, but she still has a hard time getting her homework done. I suppose you could site me for not living up to my responsibilities, but I feel I do the best I can under the circumstances presented in the last couple of years. I do care about her getting her homework done, and I do remind her constantly to do the work.

My youngest is in kindergarten. He is enrolled in a full day program, but that is an expensive extra. I can't understand the need for 1/2 day kindergarten programs for working parents that have had their kids in day care since infancy. It's like going backwards from full day daycare. He has the potential of being the top of his class, but his teacher has called him a "jack in the box" because he just pops up wherever.

Anyhow, I feel like a walking guilt trip that I am failing my children. At the same time, I do feel that I am doing the best I can under the circumstances I have had in the last couple of years. Divorce, deaths and increased job responsibility have really taken a chunk of my energy though if I had my choice I would put the energy into my kids.
You can tell I’ve been feeling pretty self conscious about how I'm doing as a parent. They do have a male role model living at home, but since he is a "step" they aren't willing to see it yet.
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