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Old 01-30-2002, 03:15 AM   #16
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I think that I am going to take my husbands name. Not because he is "the man" and I am "the woman", but just because I really like the idea of the family unit sharing a common last night, also, when we have kids I don't want there to be any confusion. I do like the idea of hypenating the two last names, but I hate the idea of having a hypehated name.

In most situations I am non-traditional, but this is a nice tradition that I am choosing to carry on.
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Old 01-30-2002, 03:17 AM   #17
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My aunt's name growing up was Donna Lee Mitchell. She marryed a guy named Donnelly. Her name is now Donna Lee Donnelly.

My sisters name is Karen. Her boyfriends last name is Baren. Which would make her Karen Baren if they ever got married.

In cases like this you should keep your last name, or at least hyphenate!!
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Old 01-30-2002, 03:18 AM   #18
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Which reminds me...

There is a woman in my town whose first name is "Gay." She married a man with the last name of "Dick." She took his last name. You do the math.

Melon

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"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time
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Old 01-30-2002, 03:27 AM   #19
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lol, melon. If I marry a guy with the last name of Dick or Dyck, there is no way I am taking on that name! I'll stick with my unpronounceable French-derivative any day. lol.
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Old 01-30-2002, 05:58 AM   #20
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I'm in a bit of a special situation regarding my name. Where I come from, it is becoming increasingly popular to take the nicest or most unusual name, whether it's the wife's or the husband's. However, my parents forgot to discuss it and ended up with my dad's much more common name, which they regretted a bit later, but didn't change. But I wanted my mother's maiden name, so I officially changed my name when I was 16. Someone would have to come along with a damn good name for me to change mine, but I might consider a double-barrel. And I would certainly never marry a man who insisted that I change my name, because that would be an indication of personality traits that I couldn't live with.
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Old 01-30-2002, 08:54 AM   #21
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I think I'm gonna keep my name. There are two girls in my family-- no boys-- so there's no one in our family to pass down my father's name. Plus, its German and I'm proud of that. So legally no, I won't change it. If I marry a Mr. Smith and we go to social functions or my kids' friends call me Mrs. Smith, that's fine. But legally, I want to keep my name.
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Old 01-30-2002, 09:18 AM   #22
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My mother took my father's name, but years later her only brother's wife realized that she couldn't have kids. That meant that the name wouldn't be carried on. She was pregnant with my brother at the time, so his middle name is my mother's maiden name.
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Old 01-30-2002, 11:48 AM   #23
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we should all just make up last names, like sports teams.

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Old 01-31-2002, 02:07 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by kobayashi:
we should all just make up last names, like sports teams.

hmm, Angela Eagles...Angela Swans....hmmm!

kidding!

I took a new name, for a few reasons. One being that my maiden name is extremely hard to spell and virtually impossible to pronounce. Throw an X in, and everyone's stumped. My new name is difficult too though, it has about 4 different ways to spell it or say it, and everyone thinks its Asian or Persian. I also changed it though although I like tradition, I saw it as my dad was previously the most influential fella in my life, then my husband became that. I dont see the point in marriage and becoming part of a 'man and wife' if you dont believe in the other traditions. Of course this is just mine, and certain folks are going to be different. And I would never hyphen my name. I'd rather have my old french one than a French/Irish/Persian/Chinese one. Think of my kids????What if they maried a say...Italian, and their kid married...a German? Then we got Mauri or something in it...The poor kids in about 5 generations would just be called a liquorice-all-sort.

now that could be interesting....
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Old 01-31-2002, 02:15 AM   #25
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whatever the woman prefers.
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Old 01-31-2002, 05:48 PM   #26
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I think its a lovely gesture to take his name but not a necessity.
I don't love my surname anyway, but I am very proud of it because its about the only link to my father now.

It really depends on the time and who I guess. I have thought about what you say many times though Sula, but Bubba also has a point about the hyphen thing.It would become a little ridiculous and you find kids with hyphenated names generally drop one of them anyway.

I actually wish I had my mother's maiden name...
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Old 02-03-2002, 01:51 AM   #27
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well this is just my own personal opinion, but years ago, I figured I would just change my name like everybody else, but as I got older I thought, why should I? It's only a tradition, it's not law! I know it's done for tradition, simplicity, and to create less confusion legally, but when a woman marries (and had kids) her individuality seems to become blurred. She becomes X's wife, X's mother, X's sister in law, and whatever became of the person that used to be known as 'Jane Doe'? And it starts with the name change at the wedding. NO THANKS.

Personally, if/when I ever get married, I don't think I will change my name, or at the very least I'll hyphenate (hope the guy is Irish!). That may upset my family's older generation, but so what. If they want a name change so badly, my future hubbie can go ahead and change HIS.
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Old 02-03-2002, 05:03 AM   #28
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I haven't really given much thought to this, other than the fact that not many people would actually want my last name, since it's long and foreign (Polish). In my more insecure moments I'm actually a little self-conscious about it, as if it would be a factor in someone deciding to marry me. I know that's not the case, but anyway...there's a good joke to go along with it:

Q: What does the bride of a Polish man get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A: A new last name.

------------------
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The future is here at last
I stand at the entrance
To a new world I can see
The ruins to the right of me
Will soon have lost sight of me
Love rescue me
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Old 02-03-2002, 06:02 AM   #29
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Diemen,
if a girl loved you enough to marry you, she wouldn't care one inch about your surname. Its not important.
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Old 02-03-2002, 11:32 AM   #30
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I don't think that it's a very important, but I would like my wife to take my name - not for any sexist reason but for pure conviniance and tradition. It's easier if we have same last name so people can find us and not get confused about who's who...

offcourse - I understand the need for a girl that loves her last name, has a tradition about her last name, or wants to prolong her last name over our kids - it's all fine, I'll never make any demands b/c I'll never change my last name

But girls remember this: you are carying your father's last name, not your mother's - so your name is a part of tradition and cultural habits (that are not always right). And by changing your name you are doing something practical, and you are not someone else - you are still you (sulawisegirl...), you don't change into another pearson

another thing - on a different note, girls nowdays are free, independant and they damand equal rights (rightly so), but they still want us to open dors for them, buy them flowers and act like gentelman - contradictory at least.

A man's life has never been harder - we'll never understand girls completely...

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"Everyone loves me
everyone thinks I'm georgeous
they wait for their turn to meet me..." - Me, 2001.
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