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Old 05-05-2005, 04:00 PM   #1
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What Makes A Good Mother?

Since it's close to Mother's Day, I was wondering what people here think are the most important and effective qualities for a Mother to possess?

Besides some obvious ones, it's a subjective opinion I suppose. Hopefully people will respect that and this can be a nice thread

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms here
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Old 05-05-2005, 04:36 PM   #2
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these folks know
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Old 05-05-2005, 04:46 PM   #3
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Cuddles and compassion.

Support and encouragment for whichever direction their life takes.
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Old 05-05-2005, 05:10 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by beli

Support and encouragment for whichever direction their life takes.
Absolutely On Target!!!!!
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Old 05-05-2005, 05:20 PM   #5
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The best moms I know that there is a world beyond their children. Of course, they are very devoted moms to their offspring, tending to their needs and being a wonderful support system, yet their wisdom and compassion goes beyond their own realm. They realize that their own child will survive seeing Janet Jackson's nipple and understand children dying of preventable diseases is a greater tragedy.

The best moms have humor and whereas they take the job of childrearing seriously, they do not take themselves seriously. They have an identity beyond their children. They do not act as their children's best friends or as 24/7 entertainment centers. They value each of their children as unique and valuable human beings.

Best of all, they raise their children to leave them.
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Old 05-05-2005, 05:41 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by beli
Cuddles and compassion.

Support and encouragment for whichever direction their life takes.
Yes!
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Old 05-05-2005, 05:47 PM   #7
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*LOVE*
Intuition
Compassion
Perseverance
Strenght
Independence
Encouragment
sacrifice (the one you do with all your heart without grieve)
Emotional Intelligence
good sense of humor
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Old 05-05-2005, 05:58 PM   #8
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My mother loved me, encouraged me, supported me, wiped my tears, kissed by scraped knees, knew when to hold on, knew when to let go, and led by example.

She is a good mom.
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Old 05-05-2005, 10:56 PM   #9
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unconditional love
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Old 05-06-2005, 04:43 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Golightly Grrl


The best moms have humor and whereas they take the job of childrearing seriously, they do not take themselves seriously. They have an identity beyond their children. They do not act as their children's best friends or as 24/7 entertainment centers. They value each of their children as unique and valuable human beings
I like that

I guess mine would be - strong, affectionate, compassionate, understanding, definitely unconditional love, has a good marriage/relationship w/ spouse/ partner/ whatever , doesn't have a martyr complex, still tends to her own needs and wants but doesn't put them above her childrens' , doesn't live through her children, easy to talk to, good sense of humor, participates in childrens' interests even though she might not be really interested
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Old 05-06-2005, 06:48 AM   #11
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I just wanted to clarify- about the good relationship w/ spouse, partner.I realize of course that's not always possible, especially if it's an ex.

I guess what I was really trying to say is she works to have a healthy balance between her relationship w/ her partner and her relationship w/ her kid (s)

And single Moms rock
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Old 05-06-2005, 08:35 AM   #12
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Interesting so many of the people who bragged they didn't have or never wanted kids seem to be experts on this. Well, I'm sorry for my shortcomings, since I'm my kids' best friend and a 24 hour entertainment system. Sorry that my husband and I are no longer have a lovey dovey relationship, but we're not going to play games and force something that isn't there, like cheesy fake "Doctor Phil" "tell her you love her at 7:30 on Thursday" shit. I do whatever I can for my kids, nurture them, worry about them, keep them safe, and do everything for their good, usually sacrificing my own in the meantime. I'm always there for them, taking them something special for lunch, picking them up so they don't have to ride the bus with mean kids, buying them something that means a lot to them no matter how useless it looks to others. My kids do not fear me, and they know they can tell me anything. I'd rather be that any day than an ogre they run from and are afraid to share secrets and problems with. So excuse me for not fitting into your lists!

I don't think there really is a real answer to this, since everyone will have their own ideas and views on what they think a Mom should be. The best thing a mom can be is whatever fits her and her family's situation and life best, not what other people think.

This will be my first Mother's Day without my mom, so it's going to be a hard one.
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Old 05-06-2005, 08:38 AM   #13
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Let's try to keep this thread friendly, okay? It's what our moms would want.
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Old 05-06-2005, 08:51 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by U2Kitten
Interesting so many of the people who bragged they didn't have or never wanted kids seem to be experts on this.
what does that have to do with the question, exactly? every person on the planet has a mother, and it doesn't take being a mother to appreciate what qualities make a good one (and vice versa).

you are right in saying that the answers are subjective to an extent, but i think it all boils down to one thing: instilling a healthy sense of self esteem in her children. certainly not an easy task, but if a mother has accomplished this, she has more than done her job. and it applies equally to fathers.

i have a lot of respect and appreciation for all the hard work moms do. i believe it is the hardest job in the world, and the most important one.

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Old 05-06-2005, 08:53 AM   #15
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i agree with most of what has been said, but i also think that good parents know when to step back and allow children to come into their own, to solve their own problems, and allow that child to grow into who they will become. the one trend i've seen in my years of working with kids in various circumstance -- some teaching, swimming lessons, coaching -- is that some parents intervene on their child's behalf to the point where it is unhealthy for the child. yes, you should always be looking out for your child's best interests, but you also cannot automatically take your child's side if, say, a discipline issue occurs simply because they are your child. there seems to be a dwindling amount of respect for teachers and coaches by some parents, and i think it can work to the detriment to the child -- because that lack of respect is pass along to the child. i think some parents have a tough time believing that their children can behave like a little shit, not that they are a little shit, and that, yes, sometimes when you misbehave in practice and spit water in people's faces it becomes necessary for the coach to make your child do laps of butterfly. it is a bad thing to run onto the pool deck and scream at the coach for being punitive, when a punitive measure is exactly what was needed in order to maintain control over 50 kids thrashing about in an outdoor pool at 7:45am in July.

not that i'm speaking from personal experience.

(okay, off my soap box. thumbs up to all written above)
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