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Old 03-23-2005, 06:02 PM   #1
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What Kind of Christian Are You?

What kind of Christian are you?

You scored 413, on a scale of 0 to 400. Here's how to interpret your score:
0 - 59
You are a Jesse Ventura Christian (a.k.a. a "Secularist" or non-Christian).

60 - 149
You are a Bishop Spong Christian (a.k.a. "Biblical Revisionist").

150 - 249
You are a Hillary Rodham Clinton Christian (a.k.a. "Left-Leaning Traditionalist").

250 - 329
You are a George Bush Sr. Christian (a.k.a. "Right-Leaning Traditionalist").

330 - 400
You are a Jerry Falwell Christian (a.k.a "Historicist").

Apparently I am off the scale past jerry falwel, and this means that:
Quote:
You view the Bible as historically accurate and divinely inspired. You go to church every Sunday, with the Good Book in a Bible cover
nope...we have the scripture readings printed along with the liturgy.
Quote:
, and Wednesday night for Bible study.
only during advent in lent...and its not really bible study, but a soup supper followed by a church service. and when i say a soup supper, i mean a totally sweet soup supper.
Quote:
You've read at least one of the books in the apocalyptic "Left Behind" series,
nope, actually i hate these books, the eschatalogy is just crap millenialism.
Quote:
, prefer your iced tea very sweet, and suspect Bill Clinton has murdered somebody somewhere in Arkansas. You're furious that people actually believe "The Da Vinci Code" and have bought a book debunking the novel. You wept uncontrollably all three times you went to see "The Passion of the Christ" and have ordered the DVD in bulk to give copies to friends. You may watch Eternal Word Television Network, and you adore Dr. Laura, Chuck Colson, James Dobson, and Rush Limbaugh. You enjoy some episodes of "Joan of Arcadia" but think it's not reverent enough--"Touched by an Angel" was better. If you're Catholic, you go to Latin Mass and weekly confession, though you don't have much to confess. You think homosexuals are sinful but try periodically to love them. You think the surrounding culture is so polluted that you shop at Christian bookstores, listen only to Christian radio and send your kids to Christian or parochial schools--or homeschool them. You give generously to your church and Christian charities. The Bible provides you not only a direct connection to God but a roadmap for how to lead your life.
clinton probably did murder that one white house aid (i forgot his name). i actually did not cry after the passion (i was too numb...thinking about what Christ had done so that i could be in heaven with Him). i have not bought it on dvd, but we are watching it during the adult bible studies class between services on sundays. ewtn is stupid, and so are dr. laura, colson, dobson, and limbaugh. idiots in fact. joan of arcadia sucks, touched by an angel sucked worse. i'm not catholic, but i take communion at least every other week (twice this week), and i have a lot to confess. i think the entire world is polluted, but i find most "Christian" outlets to be equally as polluted. they are cheap rip offs of pop-culture, and give most people the sense the Christianity is just some shallow institution for the academically inept. Christian radio occasionally plays good songs (switchfoot and the newsboys) but i would rather listen to a college, modern rock, or adult album alternative station. i went to a parochial school from k-2, it had its good and bad, but i feel like i'm a better person as a result of going to public school for the rest of my education (that being said, i'm transferring to a lutheran college to study theology next fall). i give what i can to my church. the Bible does provide a direct connection to God. The Holy Spirit speaks through the good news of the Gospel after the law condemns the heart. the law is the roadmap spoken of, and i can never follow it perfectly. to paraphrase luther "humanity is a drunkard, who after getting back on the path after falling off to the left, will very soon fall to the right." the only hope i have is in the gospel.
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:07 PM   #2
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You scored 413, on a scale of 0 to 400.

I'm a Macfistowannabe-ist.
Off the charts.
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:08 PM   #3
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342, I'll be damned
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:09 PM   #4
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You scored 110, on a scale of 0 to 400. Here's how to interpret your score:
0 - 59
You are a Jesse Ventura Christian (a.k.a. a "Secularist" or non-Christian).
60 - 149
You are a Bishop Spong Christian (a.k.a. "Biblical Revisionist").


ok... so SOMEONE explain to me how i turned out to be a spong christian? i gave all the heretical and blasphemous answers!
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:13 PM   #5
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381.
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:14 PM   #6
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I laughed at the Hillary Clinton explanation. Although none of the explanations really fit me at all.
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:14 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by all_i_want

ok... so SOMEONE explain to me how i turned out to be a spong christian? i gave all the heretical and blasphemous answers!
read up on spong...because you just answered your own question LOL.
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:17 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by shrmn8rpoptart
read up on spong...because you just answered your own question LOL.
but im not even a christian in the first place!!
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:19 PM   #9
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are you sure




you may have been saved
on the sly
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:20 PM   #10
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well, neither is he really, unless you're using a very broad definition of Christianity as this site seems too. (meaning the quiz site)
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:22 PM   #11
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wouldn't you rather spend eternity with us
smug Americans

or

72 virgins?
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:24 PM   #12
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screw them all, im going home

and really, the 72 virgins thing? thats a lie
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:27 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by all_i_want
screw them all, im going home

and really, the 72 virgins thing? thats a lie
just kidding

you think i believe any of that propaganda
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:40 PM   #14
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Was Jesus married? no one knows
How did Jesus look? no one knows
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Old 03-23-2005, 06:42 PM   #15
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Was jesus gay?

id argue he is too nice to be straight!

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