What if your child were gay?

[Angela Harlem]

I have one daughter. Things would change if she told me one day she was gay. In time I am going to worry that she will unfortunately end up with a man who might not treat her well, despite my best intentions to ensure it doesn't happen that way. She is only 2 so I do have a few years yet. However if she was gay, I'd have to change that to hope that she finds a woman who treats her well and one she does in return.

That's um...it. It's a minor thing.

 

[Mullen4Prez]

Re: Re: What if your child were gay?

I would love them unconditionally and support them. I would never try to change them nor would I disown my own flesh and blood.

 

[Irvine511]

Irvine...i think..... is giving his own expirience.

*HUGS* Irvine ..that must have been so shitty.

actually, that wasn't my own experience, but it is true of people i know. i have a friend who's mother literally cut his face out of old family pictures, the whole "my son is dead to me" routine.

it's very, very sad.

and i apologize if someone didn't realize that i was being 100% sarcastic/ironic -- that can be hard to get across in this kind of forum.

gay kids need love an acceptance just like straight kids, and i also think there's a bit of a need for a parent to make that bit of extra effort to reach out to a gay child, if only to say, "we love you, and we value your life and loves as much as anyone else's."

 

[dandy]

i have a friend who's mother literally cut his face out of old family pictures, the whole "my son is dead to me" routine.

it's very, very sad.

i can't imagine how horrible that would be to go through. i can't understand how anyone could do something that cruel to their own child. says a lot about who his parents are as people. i hope your friend is finding the love and support he needs and deserves.

 

[Rono]

Re: Re: What if your child were gay?

Would you love them unconditionally? Yes.

Would you try to change them? Nope.

Would you disown them? God, no.

That pretty much sums it up for me.

Angela

I guess the only one that need to change is me,..when i will have kids it is a natural thought that they will be hetrosexuals also. I would be a little disapointed first but at the end i would be happy to be the best man when they decided to marry the man/woman they love.

 

[U2Kitten]

First, I'd cry and be disappointed I wouldn't likely get grandchildren from them. But I would love and accept them as I would if they were straight, and never shun or reject them or judge them. Just from having the problems I've had I think it's terrible when your family judges you and doesn't love you for what you are, only accepting you if you meet certain criteria, aka, be more like them. I've had this problem with my siblings, and I'm not even gay, so I feel for those who are.

 

[U2democrat]

I would embrace them and be thankful they were comfortable enough with me to come out, and i would not treat them any differently.

 

[Golightly Grrl]

Good answer, U2Democrat.

Well, I'm not having kids, but if I did and one told me that he or she is gay, my love and support would never falter.

 

[felix_las_vegas]

I would embrace them and be thankful they were comfortable enough with me to come out, and i would not treat them any differently.

I completely agree.

 

[Abomb-baby]

I would always love my children, no matter what. I'm not gonna lie and say I would be estatic, but I would always love them, and would never turn my back on them.

 

[BVS]

Kiss them and tell them they're gifts from God, as I would any child.

 

[melon]

actually, that wasn't my own experience, but it is true of people i know. i have a friend who's mother literally cut his face out of old family pictures, the whole "my son is dead to me" routine.

At that point, I'd cut my mother out of all my family pictures and declare her dead too. It works both ways.

Melon

 

[Doozer61]

Doozer...do you have kids of your own? I mean your gay....but gays may or may not have kids.
cuz i think its interesting the how the answers would vary depending on if you had kids or not.

No I do not have kids of my own, however I have been in relationships with women that have had children. During my last relationship, I was priveledged enough to witness the birth of one of my grandchildren and to be blessed with two more. I often wonder how I would react, as a gay woman, if one of them were to confide in me that they might be gay.

I would hope that I would be a source of strength and love for them in their struggles. I would also hope that their parents would continue to love and support them no matter what.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

i have a friend who's mother literally cut his face out of old family pictures, the whole "my son is dead to me" routine.

.

That's pathetic. I don't understand some people. to your friend.

to everyone in this thread who would love their kids regardless of what orientation they are, by the way . It's nice to know I'll never have to hear about any of you doing what Irvine's friend's mom did.

Angela

 

[Russty Cat]

I can't even imagine what it would be like to feel such disdain from your own parents. I hope before its to late they realize how wrong they are and learn to enjoy their child for the wonderful person they are.

I have two daughters and I know exactly what I would do if they told me they were gay. I would hug them and thank them for being honest with me and then tell them they that they could always come to me with anything. I am a christian and don't believe in homosexuality. But I live my life believing that all people deserve love and respect. People may not always do things they way that I would have them done, but that doesn't make them less of a good person. I can't imagine disowning any family member. This life is to short to be judging other peoples lives. That's Gods job, not mine.

 

[A_Wanderer]

Oh if I was writing something that involved a parent disowning their gay son/daughter ~ the line "I cut you away like cancerous tissue" would go brilliantly.

 

[Irvine511]

I can't even imagine what it would be like to feel such disdain from your own parents. I hope before its to late they realize how wrong they are and learn to enjoy their child for the wonderful person they are.

some of it is cultural. he is salvadoran, and it's simply a different culture. and they seemed to be a pretty crazy family to begin with, though that was more a result of who they were rather than their nationality.

 

[pax]

I would continue to love them and accept them, of course. I'd want them to know that their current or future partners are welcome to spend time with the family. I'd also be happy that they felt they could trust me (and their father) enough to confide in us.

I hope my future husband and I could create the kind of family wherein our children would feel comfortable and safe enough to come to us with that kind of thing.

 

[80sU2isBest]

Would you love them unconditionally? Yes.

Would you try to change them? Nope, but not because I'd be content that they're gay. I wouldn't try to change them because I've tried to change people before, and people have tried to change me, and it never works. However, I would do the politically incorrect thing and pray for them. "Politically incorrect" is nothing new for me.

Would you disown them? No

 

[coemgen]

I would love them unconditionally, welcome their partner into the family and support them as much as I could. I wouldn't approve of it from a personal perspective, but that wouldn't stop me from loving them and praying for them.

 

[Doozer61]

 

[U2@NYC]

I can say that I would support my children and everything... but, until I have a kid, I am afraid I cannot give you my real answer. I hope I am that way, I truly do, but it is so hard to know...

 

[carrieluvv]

U2 @ NYC...I appreciate your answer....my kids have taught me about so many things
you have to learn about hope for your kid and as soon as you speak it you belive it too..
along with so many other things

 

[U2@NYC]

Thanks, Carrie.

 

[U2Kitten]

Speaking of the cut the face out of the picture thing, I have an aunt who does that whenever someone in the family dies. She somehow finds a way to blame their spouse for their death and gets them out of the picture. It's a shame, since in most cases it's not even true, and she has ruined many good family portraits

 

[Laura M]

Loving my child would have nothing to do with their sexuality. That's not important to me. If they were gay I would be just as supportive and hopeful as I would with any of my other children. I'd want them to be as happy as they possibly could be, whether or not it's with a partner, live life to the full and do everything they've always wanted to do.