Someone invades a country, sets up a "govenment", and "proclaims" that they are in control. That doesn't mean the occupied people are complicit in the government's crimes, especially if they're truly helpless. In Afghanistan, we're talking about starving people, many of whose legs have been blown off by landmines. People who want peace but have no control over it. People who are used and abused in horrendous fashion by the brutal regime, through no fault of their own.
And you can't justify murdering civilians by saying "hey, it's war". This sounds simplistic, but it's quite valid: if it was your family, I don't think it would seem very acceptable at all.
And as for solutions, I'm glad you asked because I do have a few suggestions. First, I'd like to say that I DO believe the U.S. could be a major positive influence in stopping terrorism. Of course it's a complicated problem, but this would be a good start:
1. The U.S. should stop supporting terrorists around the world. I'm ashamed to say it, but we (the U.S.) are the leading financial supporters of terrorists and human rights abusers around the world. U.S. foreign policy is based on the principle of creating a "favorable business climate" for our companies in other countries. What this involves is working hard to prevent unionization of workers, humane working conditions, environmentally sound policies - and doing whatever it takes (murder, torture, preventing freedom of speech, etc.) to accomplish this. The way we do it is by supporting brutal dictators/regimes financially so they can use their brutal armies/death squads to suppress human rights. The number of countries in which we do this is VERY large, and this is VERY well documented.
2. Stop selling arms. The 5 U.N. security council nations are responsible for 90% of world arms sales, with the U.S. the leader by far. Boeing, Lockheed, General Electric, Honeywell - yes they make commercial airliners and light bulbs and burglar alarms, but the way they make their money is by massive government (ours and others) contracts to make tanks, bombers, fighter planes, munitions, etc.
3. Stop providing unjust diplomatic support for our companies hurtful policies overseas. For instance, the U.S. sues African countries for patent infringement when they try to find alternative ("generic") versions of drugs sold by our companies at prices they can't afford. I'm talking about malaria, TB, and other diseases that could be eradicated with sound policy. Let's give them a break - Africa loses millions of lives a year because of their inability to treat simple diseases. Also, the U.S. threatened trade sanctions against several Southeast Asian countries when they tried to limit cigarette imports in 1996-7 - the countries were forced to back down, and the rate of teen smoking in Japan (one example) has increased by more than 10% PER YEAR since then. That's a lot of deaths.
4. Debt relief. Why should African countries that can't feed their people be forced to pay money to the U.S.? Especially when the "loans" were never used for human/social development but to support brutal 3rd world dictators who supported our business policies.
5. Every citizen should learn about what its country is up to by reading many sources, of which many should include foreign ones - the U.S. press (like any countries but much more powerful) cannot be depended upon to provide anything but propaganda. And get involved in nonviolent efforts to improve the behavior of our country.
Long . . . but anyway it's a start.
SV