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Old 04-04-2002, 04:24 PM   #31
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Gina Marie-
I dont think this will damage mine and ZEdge's relationship.
Olive-
Good pt.

Diamond

[This message has been edited by Diamond The U2 Patriot (edited 04-04-2002).]
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Old 04-04-2002, 04:53 PM   #32
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Originally posted by speedracer:
Lilly, if you're going to continue to post in this thread, you probably should change your sig...
LOL, and her "from" to

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Old 04-04-2002, 05:04 PM   #33
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Allow me to elaborate further, as I really have thought this out a lot over the years...

Humans--gay, straight, male, female, black, white, young, old, etc.--are constantly inundated with cultural constructs as to what you are *supposed* to be; hence, stereotypes. We hate stereotypes; we'll march up and down, left and right, and scream at the top of our lungs as to how much we hate them. Yet, what has happened? I see so many walking stereotypes that it makes me sick.

The stereotype, in essence, formulates how we think we are supposed to be as we are growing up. Right now, I'm sure we all have preconceived notions of what we are supposed to be at certain ages (i.e., "A middle-aged father who is not supposed to be affectionate to his children; that's the mother's job"), not to mention revisionist stereotypes of what was ("I want to look '80s,' so I'm going to dye my hair blonde"). Sadly enough, *much* (but not all) of humanity has a very hard time shaking these preconceived notions, most of which we pick up from the media.

Let's look at classic films, for instance. You have a 2 hour film. What happens in it? You have your strong, stoic male who is in control of everything and everyone around him at all times. Sure, during the plot twists, he might stumble, but, by the end, he's got even more power under his belt. Then you meet the woman--thin, beautiful, dumb, and clueless--she is literally lost without the strong male influence.

So what is the progression of the classic film romance (which still persists today)? Man meets woman. She's a bit sassy and resistant, but in a teasing fashion. Man *persists.* She's still sassy, but she puts up less resistance. Man *persists.* She's annoyed, but, suddenly, she's kissing him. Man *persists.* By the end of the film, he's having sex with her, living happily ever after, all of which is in a two-hour time frame. It is that *persistance* that is the problem. In film, *no* rarely ever means *no.* It really turns into *yes.*

To make this argument applicable to z edge's incident, the gay guy is living off that misogynist male film hero stereotype, but translating it to a gay scenario. Add that to the stereotype that gay men are all about hedonistic sex and endless partying--in essence, nothing serious and stable--and he is buying into that as well. Everything from the "straight jocks," "locker room," etc. is him living out stereotypical fantasies.

My overall belief is that stereotypes are just that in the beginning--a general falsehood riddled with bigotry. However, the longer the stereotype exists, the more that generations grow up thinking that that is what they *have to* be. Gays, in particular, are in a very dreadful situation societally. No positive media role models. Little family and societal support. Surrounded by hostility, effeminate stereotypes, lush stereotypes, etc. The same is with minorities: blacks and Mexicans with gang and ghetto stereotypes. Yet, look at rap music? Supposed "positive role models" who fulfill every last stereotype in their personas to, supposedly, "be real."

You know all the stereotypes, really, and, sadly, I fear we are losing generations of otherwise wonderful people to deep-seated bigotry that most of us, unless we ever do the research, will never know *why* these stereotypes ever came about. Instead, we will, blindly, accept them as to what we are supposed to be.

Do I make any sense?

Melon

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"Still, I never understood the elevation of greed as a political credo. Why would anyone want to base a political programme on bottomless dissatisfaction and the impossibility of happiness? Perhaps that was its appeal: the promise of luxury that in fact promoted endless work." - Hanif Kureishi, Intimacy
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Old 04-04-2002, 05:13 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gina Marie:
Normally I would just ignore what you said Diamond-but there is nothing remotely 'funny' about this.

I figured sooner or later someone would make a comment like that. Sorry, but your attempt at 'humor' is not, in my opinion, appropriate.
GM,
It's okay, thanx for defending me but its alright. It's really okay now, not the end of the world or anything. I feel better now that a couple of days have passed, and much better to have gotten it off my chest in here. I was just freaked out right after it happened but that dosen't mean I am going to be traumatized or anything.

I should add, I've been to the gay bar with some friends and (yes a lot of straight people go there too) had several guys come up and hit on me, even had my butt pinched by one. Rather than going crazy I just reminded myself where I was and politely let them know I am straight. After that, I had some great conversations with a couple of the guys as I would any other guy.

Thats a far cry from what happened in my house though, but it's okay to joke about my incident now. I wouldn't joke about any of the other points brought up in here or statistics about other people, however.

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Old 04-04-2002, 05:18 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by Diamond The U2 Patriot:
Gina Marie-
I dont think this will damage mine and ZEdge's relationship.

[This message has been edited by Diamond The U2 Patriot (edited 04-04-2002).]
It's all good D69, your joke was kinda funny too. I won't let it bother me or our friendship.

However, I might be careful about letting you in my house late at night

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Old 04-04-2002, 05:41 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by z edge:

It's okay, thanx for defending me but its alright. It's really okay now, not the end of the world or anything. I feel better now that a couple of days have passed, and much better to have gotten it off my chest in here.

I should add, I've been to the gay bar with some friends and (yes a lot of straight people go there too) had several guys come up and hit on me, even had my butt pinched by one. Rather than going crazy I just reminded myself where I was and politely let them know I am straight. After that, I had some great conversations with a couple of the guys as I would any other guy.

OK, if you're OK with Diamond's comments, that's fine with me

I just think it must be very awkward and uncomfortable to have to see this person again. I don't know-the behavior of people like that just boggles my mind. I don't deal w/ it as well as you do. I've had a few things happen to me that I wouldn't talk about, so I applaud you for posting this here.

And I didn't mean in any of my comments that you are in any way homophobic, because it's obvious you're not.

And *lol* what you said to Diamond-I'd feel the same way.
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Old 04-04-2002, 05:54 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally posted by melon:
.

Do I make any sense?

Melon

Yes you make sense, great post. Your posts usually do make good sense when you're not talking about politics

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Old 04-04-2002, 08:37 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally posted by Salome:
I like short replies like this one


If z edge says no, then it's rape.



[This message has been edited by U2Bama (edited 04-04-2002).]
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Old 04-05-2002, 12:35 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by z edge:
Quote:
Originally posted by speedracer:
Lilly, if you're going to continue to post in this thread, you probably should change your sig...
LOL, and her "from" to

....yea, I always think whether I should include my sig in FYM posts, 'cos it's so easily misconstrueable. My friend said it to me before I went into a job interview earlier this week. And, on second thought, my 'from' is a bit....uhm....suggestive?
Yea, but it IS where I'm from for now....



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Old 04-05-2002, 12:41 AM   #40
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I was in a bar and I heard this guy behind me talking in this feminine voice. As I was listening, I thought to myself, "Self, is there such a thing as a gay voice?"

CK
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Old 04-05-2002, 05:56 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lilly:
....yea, I always think whether I should include my sig in FYM posts, 'cos it's so easily misconstrueable. My friend said it to me before I went into a job interview earlier this week. And, on second thought, my 'from' is a bit....uhm....suggestive?
Yea, but it IS where I'm from for now....

your fine, just giving you a hard time thats all, irony at it's best coincidence though
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Old 04-05-2002, 06:00 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheU2:
I was in a bar and I heard this guy behind me talking in this feminine voice. As I was listening, I thought to myself, "Self, is there such a thing as a gay voice?"

CK

cruisin'...
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