GOP Campaign Slogans I'd Like to See-by William Tracy, Huffington Post
• Mitt Romney: You've Already Eye-Fucked Him; Now Vote For Him (lol, that makes me think of a specific person
)
• Vote For Mitt: He's Just Like You, Only Without The Swearing, Drinking, Smoking And Monogamy
• Vote For Romney: His Pecs Are Like God Damn Dinner Plates
• Mitt Romney: Quickly Changed Every Position He Ever Had Just For You
• Romney For President: Not Just Another Massachusetts Mormon Who Was CEO Of The 2002 Winter Olympics
Rudy Giuliani:
• Vote For Giuliani: He'll Torture And Kill You To Protect Your Children
• Rudy For President: Because The Neo-Cons Were Just A Bunch Of Fucking Pansy-Ass Hippies
• Giuliani in '08: You Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?
• Vote For Rudy: It'll Be Like 9/11 Everyday!
• Rudy Giuliani: Hard On Gays (If You Know What I Mean)
Fred Thompson:
• Vote For Fred Thompson: Definitely The Only Candidate Who Was In Iron Eagle III
• Fred Thompson: Sort Of Like Gene Hackman Crossed With A Bat-Shit Crazy Person
• Fred Thompson: Feel Free To Fuck His Wife Vicariously Through Him
• Thompson In '08: Well, At Least He Never Acted With A Chimp
• Thompson For President: It'll Be Kind Of Like He's Playing The President In A Really Bad Movie About The End Of The World
John McCain:
• Vote For McCain: He'll Try Not To Be Buried In A Pine Box Come November
• McCain For President: Whoa, Really? What Year Are We In?
• McCain '08: Short On Funds, Just Like You
• John McCain: A Maverick On Everything But The Issues
• Vote For John McCain: Because, Sweet Jesus, Look At The Alternatives
This post originally appeared on 23/6 (236.com), the new comedy news site