To those that will or did wait...

[BVS]

What if you were stranded on an island (a very unfortunate shipwreck) with the one you loved before you were married? Surviving was not an issue, food and water were plenty. Your life on the island is indefinate. Do you continue to abstain? Do you spend years sleeping in separate huts? It's obvious you're going to be faithful to each, but if there's no minister what happens? Or do the laws of marriage only exist in society?

 

[all_i_want]

oh i couldnt care less about marriage, if its only two of us, who else do we need to declare us married??



edit: oh sorry, this was for the ones who actually are abstaining.

 

[Liesje]

Interesting. I have abstained up to this point and plan on continuing to abstain until marriage. However in this situation, the only reason I'd say "yes" (continue to abstain) would be b/c no WAY would I ever want to give birth in such a place. I guess that makes me a hypocrite!

PS. You CAN sleep together and not have sex. We do it all the time.

 

[BVS]

You CAN sleep together and not have sex.

True but I've heard some that even think that's a sin.

 

[babyman]

obviously marriage is the sacred bond between two persons, but in such a situation your faith and your christian teaching must decide for you......

 

[Macfistowannabe]

In that case...
I would get illegally married.

It doesn't have to be a punishment from God.

 

[deep]

This would obviously is a test from God
to see if one wants to go to Hell.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

This would obviously is a test from God
to see if one wants to go to Hell.

For that?

 

[Irvine511]

i don't think God cares one way or the next.

doesn't he have better to do than keep tabs on who's sleeping with whom?

 

[Macfistowannabe]

i don't think God cares one way or the next.

doesn't he have better to do than keep tabs on who's sleeping with whom?

I'd hope so, heh.

 

[deep]

well
he might forgive you

as long as you don't look at any exposed breasts.

 

[coemgen]

God does care if you have sex before marriage. Sex was created to be something for married couples to not only have children, but enjoy each other and grow closer together (and not just in a physical way) To have sex outside of marriage is a sin, and unfortunately, one that I committed. As I mentioned in my journal, my wife and I actually got pregnant before we got married. We tried to wait, but gave in to temptations and it altered our lives forever. (Not that we regret where we're at or having our son or anything, but it made life very difficult for a while.) We were going to get married anyway, but things sped up a bit. Although we felt like hypocrites and like we failed God, our families and each other, we had loving families a great church and of course, forgiveness through Christ.

To answer the thread question, of course the temptation would be there and I'd probably justify everything just to have sex, but if I knew we weren't getting off the island and we both wanted to get married, then I think the best thing would be to just go before God in prayer and honestly, humbly ask to be united in one in his eyes.
That's what I see marriage as anyways — a union between a man and a woman before God. (By the way, I'm not trying to start a big political debate or anything with my answer, it's simply how I feel about it.)

 

[ribbons&bows]

True but I've heard some that even think that's a sin.

I've even heard that if you use a tampon you're not a virgin anymore

As for the question, I'm with LivLuvAndBootlegMusic. Giving birth there would be horrible!

 

[Macfistowannabe]

To answer the thread question, of course the temptation would be there and I'd probably justify everything just to have sex, but if I knew we weren't getting off the island and we both wanted to get married, then I think the best thing would be to just go before God in prayer and honestly, humbly ask to be united in one in his eyes.

Good call.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

I've even heard that if you use a tampon you're not a virgin anymore

Wow, that's rather extreme.

 

[Irvine511]

well, you have the option of getting married ... and i'm not in a position to be getting anyone pregnant

but doesn't it seem weird that God would take an interest in how many sexual partners you've had? if there was any, say, bisexuality going on? threesomes? just to what extent is sexuality regulated? are certain positions better than others? more holy than others? is doing it doggy-style more sinful than missionary?

seems like God should mind his own business if no one's getting hurt.

(being a smart-ass ... feel free to ignore me ...)

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

i don't think God cares one way or the next.

doesn't he have better to do than keep tabs on who's sleeping with whom?

Agreed. I personally don't think premarital sex is a sin anyway, but eh, to each their own .

Angela

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Realistically that would take a heck of a lot of willpower. I admire and wouldn't pass judgment on anyone who says they'd wait. Under those circumstances I think you're married in your minds and souls and maybe even in God's eyes too, who knows?

Unless the guy looks like Tom Hanks ended up looking in Cast Away-in that case, no problem abstaining

Didn't they make a really bad movie about this starring Brooke Shields?

 

[coemgen]

Those tampons always give in to temptation.

 

[joyfulgirl]

God does care if you have sex before marriage. Sex was created to be something for married couples to not only have children, but enjoy each other and grow closer together (and not just in a physical way) To have sex outside of marriage is a sin,

God also gave everyone a sex drive but does not always give everyone a spouse. So people should just repress their natural God-given sex drive and oh too bad so sad for them?

 

[deep]

Those tampons always give in to temptation.

please if you are going to use a tampon be safe

and put a condum on it.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

I admire and wouldn't pass judgment on anyone who says they'd wait.

Agreed-I don't care if people wish to wait, that's entirely up to them, and if that's what works best for them, great. In turn, though, I would hope that they'd be just as respectful of those who chose not to wait. It's all something that should be a personal decision, something that each person should decide based on what they feel most comfortable doing.

Angela

 

[Irvine511]

please if you are going to use a tampon be safe

and put a condum on it.

thank you for the one laugh i've had all day.

it's time to go home.

 

[melon]

Who says "marriage" requires an official ceremony? We haven't even used the same ceremony since Biblical times. The OT attitude is that once you have sex with someone, you're married. Hence, there's a passage that a woman would be married to her rapist.

Melon

 

[nbcrusader]

It's all something that should be a personal decision, something that each person should decide based on what they feel most comfortable doing.

Or, what they believe is right before God.


I guess if premarital sex is not considered a sin, the question becomes a non-issue.

Breaking it down further, if you do believe premarital sex is a sin and you are willing to wait because you do not want to knowingly commit a sin, the question then becomes "what constitutes marriage?"

Can two people commit themselves to eachother before God without (i) a marriage certificate and (ii) an exchange of vows before a pastor, priest, etc.

 

[deep]

Can two people commit themselves to eachother before God without (i) a marriage certificate and (ii) an exchange of vows before a pastor, priest, etc.

situational

stranded on an island

 

[coemgen]

You're right Joyful girl — most of us have a sex drive within us, and it was placed there for a reason. It's a good thing. We all know how powerful sex is though. There are some people out there — the holier than thou types or whatever — who claim sex is "evil" or "of the devil" or whatever. That's a bunch of BS. Sex is a good thing — God created it! However, he had a purpose in mind for it. It's not meant just to get off, you know. It's a powerful thing meant for married couples to grow more intimate together. You become one. That's what marriage is — the becoming of one. Although sex is good, what we do with it isn't always good. Sex can be destructive and harmful, not only to you and your partner, but others. We all know of all the diseases and everything you can get from sex and then there's the risk of having children (which I know all too well). Think of all the children who were born out of wedlock and the dad left and doesn't have anything to do with them or the mother. The mother is left raising the child and struggling through life as a single parent and the child doesn't have a father figure, which God intended him to have as much as he intended him to have a sex drive. (I'm not saying children born this way or his or her parents are bad people or any less of a person for their circumstances here either.)
Think of how harmful sexual abuse is too. It alone not only can alter how one views sex, but also relationships. My wife was molested by her real dad and her grandfather, and she's never trusted men (except me, which is why when we got pregnant I felt even worse).
I guess my point is that yes, God gave us a sex drive, but he wants us to fulfill it or spend it according to his guidelines and this isn't to restrict us, but to protect us AND to allow us to get the most of it.

 

[joyfulgirl]

You're right Joyful girl — most of us have a sex drive within us, and it was placed there for a reason. It's a good thing. We all know how powerful sex is though. There are some people out there — the holier than thou types or whatever — who claim sex is "evil" or "of the devil" or whatever. That's a bunch of BS. Sex is a good thing — God created it! However, he had a purpose in mind for it. It's not meant just to get off, you know. It's a powerful thing meant for married couples to grow more intimate together. You become one. That's what marriage is — the becoming of one. Although sex is good, what we do with it isn't always good. Sex can be destructive and harmful, not only to you and your partner, but others. We all know of all the diseases and everything you can get from sex and then there's the risk of having children (which I know all too well). Think of all the children who were born out of wedlock and the dad left and doesn't have anything to do with them or the mother. The mother is left raising the child and struggling through life as a single parent and the child doesn't have a father figure, which God intended him to have as much as he intended him to have a sex drive. (I'm not saying children born this way or his or her parents are bad people or any less of a person for their circumstances here either.)
Think of how harmful sexual abuse is too. It alone not only can alter how one views sex, but also relationships. My wife was molested by her real dad and her grandfather, and she's never trusted men (except me, which is why when we got pregnant I felt even worse).
I guess my point is that yes, God gave us a sex drive, but he wants us to fulfill it or spend it according to his guidelines and this isn't to restrict us, but to protect us AND to allow us to get the most of it.

That didn't even come close to answering my question. Well, maybe it did but I want to know something else. So If God wants the sex drive to be solely for married couples then why doesn''t he provide a mate for everyone? Did he just randomly go, okay those people over there get to have sex, but not the ones over there?

I'm so glad the God I believe in isn't petty.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

Or, what they believe is right before God.


I guess if premarital sex is not considered a sin, the question becomes a non-issue.

If someone wants to use their religious beliefs as a factor in their personal choice to wait until they are married to have sex, again, that's entirely up to them. I don't care. But if others don't use religion as their means of deciding whether or not they'll wait to have sex, that's up to them as well. It's all still a personal thing.

Originally posted by nbcrusader
Breaking it down further, if you do believe premarital sex is a sin and you are willing to wait because you do not want to knowingly commit a sin, the question then becomes "what constitutes marriage?"

Can two people commit themselves to eachother before God without (i) a marriage certificate and (ii) an exchange of vows before a pastor, priest, etc.

I dunno...I'm sure some couples could probably find a way to do that. And there's the point melon brought up, too...

Angela

 

[coemgen]

Sorry I ranted and didn't answer your question Joyfulgirl. I guess I don't know why God doesn't make someone for everyone. Maybe he did, how are we to know. Or, maybe he has something bigger in mind for their lives than marriage. I don't know about that one. By the way the God I believe in isn't petty either . . . nor is he short of cash, mister.