To All Fellow Cyber Mums - Happy Mother's Day! - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind > Free Your Mind Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 05-12-2007, 09:22 AM   #1
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 07:01 PM
To All Fellow Cyber Mums - Happy Mother's Day!

If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!



POSITION :
Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Mumma, Ma


JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from
zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously
sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must
have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages
and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of
a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must
always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final,
complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION :
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them
whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation for everything
they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated. Plus,
being a mother, I'm too tired to type everyone's name!
__________________

__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 05-12-2007, 11:05 AM   #2
ONE
love, blood, life
 
JCOSTER's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: It's a very, very mad world.
Posts: 14,971
Local Time: 04:01 AM
__________________

__________________
JCOSTER is offline  
Old 05-12-2007, 03:21 PM   #3
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
coemgen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Black and White Town
Posts: 3,962
Local Time: 04:01 AM
Yes, happy Mother's Day to all mothers.

Fly so high! - I've read recently that moms should earn $140,000 for all the work they do. If you go to salary.com and do it for mothers, it'll come up with a more specific salary.

interesting stuff. mother's deserve all the love in the world.
__________________
coemgen is offline  
Old 05-12-2007, 03:28 PM   #4
Blue Crack Addict
 
verte76's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: hoping for changes
Posts: 23,331
Local Time: 09:01 AM
Happy mother's day mums of the world;!
__________________
verte76 is offline  
Old 05-12-2007, 03:34 PM   #5
Blue Crack Addict
 
U2democrat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: England by way of 'Murica.
Posts: 22,140
Local Time: 09:01 AM
I'm just excited because I bought my mom "The Queen" on DVD and I finally get to give it to her and watch it again. I'm going to have to buy a second copy for myself.

But of course I wouldn't be here without my mom ...but seriously, kudos to all the moms out there...y'all are brave people putting up with us kids
__________________
U2democrat is offline  
Old 05-13-2007, 08:14 AM   #6
Jesus Online
 
Angela Harlem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 08:01 PM
happy mothers day
__________________
<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/angelaharlem/thPaul_Roos28.jpg target=_blank>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...aul_Roos28.jpg</a>
Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 05-13-2007, 08:33 AM   #7
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Vincent Vega's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Berlin
Posts: 6,615
Local Time: 10:01 AM
Have a good one.


There are intentions to include housework in the GDP.
__________________
Vincent Vega is offline  
Old 05-13-2007, 09:25 AM   #8
The Fly
 
Greenlight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Never far from a cup of coffee
Posts: 282
Local Time: 10:01 AM
Now I'm confused Mothers day, or Mothering Sunday as it's sometimes known in the UK was back in March. It's always 3 weeks before Easter Sunday as it originally was a religious festival. I assumed it was the same day in other countries too but evidently the colonies decided to do their own thing

Anyway Happy Mother's Day to those who celebrate it today.
__________________
Greenlight is offline  
Old 05-13-2007, 09:31 AM   #9
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Vincent Vega's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Berlin
Posts: 6,615
Local Time: 10:01 AM
Not only the colonies. Here in Germany it's today either.
__________________
Vincent Vega is offline  
Old 05-20-2007, 08:26 AM   #10
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 07:01 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by coemgen
Yes, happy Mother's Day to all mothers.

Fly so high! - I've read recently that moms should earn $140,000 for all the work they do. If you go to salary.com and do it for mothers, it'll come up with a more specific salary.

interesting stuff. mother's deserve all the love in the world.
I would be happy with that figure
__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 05-20-2007, 08:28 AM   #11
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 07:01 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Vincent Vega
Have a good one.


There are intentions to include housework in the GDP.
What? In the Gross Domestic Product?
__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 05-20-2007, 08:41 AM   #12
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Vincent Vega's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Berlin
Posts: 6,615
Local Time: 10:01 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by fly so high!


What? In the Gross Domestic Product?
Yes, some would like it to be included.
But it would rather be an alternative, non-official GDP, like there is already an attempt to make a so called Green-GDP where they try to include the damage done to the nature.
So, don't expect to see it in the original GDP in the next years.
__________________

__________________
Vincent Vega is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com