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Old 06-29-2007, 10:58 PM   #1
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This is TOO FUNNY

Sorry, I just had to share....

..and you thought liberals had no sense of humor.

I'll post the link afterwards.
......

Dick Cheney's Super-Secret Diary!

NOTE--Monday's Washington Post profile of Darth Cheney included this graf:

"Stealth is among Cheney's most effective tools. Man-size Mosler safes, used elsewhere in government for classified secrets, store the workaday business of the office of the Vice President. Even talking points for reporters are sometimes stamped "Treated as: Top Secret/SCI."

I have PENETRATED Mr. Cheney's safety firewall. Here (don't ask us how) direct from his Mosler safe, is Shadow President Dick Cheney's Journal from Teusday, June 26, 2007:

VPOTUS Journal--Treated as Top Secret/SCI--Eyes only, destroy before reading:

062507

4:30 AM--Wake up to "Live Wire (Kick-Ass '91 Re-Mix) Motely Crue. (Tomorrow--"Number of the Beast"--ahhh, Iron Maiden, I love you sooooo...)

5:00--Video Conference with Flunkies. (had to figure out what part of government I'm not part of today)

6:00 Breakfast--Endangered Species omelet--snail darter, Javan Rhino liver and Snow Leapord tongue. Wash down baby aspirin with puppy blood.

7:00 VIDEO CONFERENCE CALL--with other members of Galactic Super Villains Club and League of Ultimate Evil--Darth Vader, the Joker, Blofielf, Lex Luthor, Wicked Witch of the West, Gollum, etc. Main agenda item--where to hold convention? (Las Vegas, where else...)

8:00 CRAFTED MAJOR POLICY INITIATIVE FOR POTUS--Need to go on OFFENSIVE, Suggested Idiot-boy proposed bil that authorizes euthenization of members of the Democratic Party, and have them rendered into pet food.

HOW? Call it "THE NATIONAL SECURITY MILITARY ANIMAL NOURISHMENT ACT OF 2007" Have POTUS claim that land-mine sniffing hungry German shpherds are "goin' hungry in Iraq." Goddamn Democrats are always yappin' about how "patriotic" they are, how they'll do anything to fight terror (as if), --call their damn bluff. Start with Fat Boy Kennedy and Harpie Pelosi.

NOTE TO SELF--Have already awarded no-bid, open-ended "sweetheart" contract to Charnel House, Bermuda-based shellcorporation to produce said pet food. Corp wholly owned by my friends at the Halliburton Corporation. NO BLOWBACK! Need slogan..."GRIND 'EM UP FOR VICTORY!"

12:00 LUNCH--Still full from breakfast. Ordered double fat-free latte with 31 Equals. Arrives unacceptably late. Shot server in the face.

1:00 PM. Secret Service brings me naked photo of Henry Waxman stepping out of his shower! MWAHAHAHAHAHHA! (Defibillration required)

2:00 PM--Call Gonzales. "ask" him to have Justice mouthpice brigade to arrest goddamn liberal "bloggers", declate them enemy combatants, have 'em "extrordinarily rendered" to my "rec room" where I can practice some of my "enhanced interrogation techniques." Fredo says he has to ask POTUS first. WIMP! Where do we find these idiots? Gonzo could screw up a two-car funeral,
and you could spot him in the hearse.

3:00 PM--One Hour with Beta Test version of "S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl"--Everything a First Person Shooter should be. 31 human kills, 12 mutants. Nice gameplay. Felt good.

4:00 to 7:00--Conference with Addington. New stove-piped Intel from Iran Study Group (goddamn pansies at CIA--WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?? Gotta do everything myself. )

SUBJECT: Easter Bunny= Osama Bin Laden? Notes as follows:

--Easter Bunny Plush produced where? Red China--sworn enemy. Also sworn enemy--Al Queda. Connection? Look. Find.
--Hitlery Clinton once hosted "Easter Egg Hunt" on WH Lawn. Photos with E. Bunny. Sweet
--Eastrer Bunny Lives where? Hole in the ground. Found Saddam-hole in the ground. Saddam=Bunny. BINGO!

The evidence is vast, convincing, and overwhelming. Why aren';t the hard-left idelogues in the media discussing this? Give best stuff to Limbaugh, O'Rielly.

8:00 PM--Dinner in the bunker with Scooter. Cry-baby. Dropped his napkin 5 times just so he could say "pardon me." Got his mind off troubles with discussion of who we nuke after Iran. Syria? Cuba? Cananda?? That Canuck socialized medicine thing pisses me the hell off.

11:00 PM--Lookover the To-Do List for tomorrow.

--Nuke Iran
--Nuke Iran
--Nuke Iran
--New Jumper cables as pacemaker Back-Up
--Oh, and Nuke Iran

Midnight--drink hot cocoa, mull over "enhanced Interrogation Techniques" (empty beer can to forehead?) brief imaginary conversation with poltergiest of Anton LeVay..beddy-bye.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/6/27/161226/048
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Old 06-30-2007, 02:22 AM   #2
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404 error: Humor not found

The humor you requested was not found.

Did you mean to post something genuinely funny? You may automatically be directed there in five seconds.

Maybe you would like to look at:
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Old 06-30-2007, 02:35 AM   #3
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^ Follow your own earlier advice to yourself and just disregard it if it doesn't interest you or live up to whatever your 'standards' are.
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Old 06-30-2007, 03:46 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by yolland
^ Follow your own earlier advice to yourself and just disregard it if it doesn't interest you or live up to whatever your 'standards' are.
I get enough of these forwarded to my email, let alone them starting to pop up in FYM
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Old 06-30-2007, 09:17 AM   #5
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And maybe some people here find self-appointed arbiters of what people post to be equally unfunny and annoying You can just avoid and ignore it if it doesn't interest you, like people could do the same when you post the word "penis" over and over again in a thread-for example
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Old 06-30-2007, 03:06 PM   #6
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Re: This is TOO FUNNY

Quote:
Originally posted by Teta040
Sorry, I just had to share....

..and you thought liberals had no sense of humor.
Nobody would ever think that. On our side we have Jon Stewart, Robin Williams, Lewis Black, David Letterman and about six dozen more. Let's see...on the other side they have Dennis Miller, the 1/2 hour news hour, Mallard Fillmore, and of course, Stephen Colbert.

We win.
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Old 06-30-2007, 03:36 PM   #7
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I think that libertarians hit above their weight by the numbers.
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Old 06-30-2007, 04:19 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
ignore it if it doesn't interest you, like people could do the same when you post the word "penis" over and over again in a thread-for example
That's pretty high-brow stuff, though. I can understand that some people might not get it.
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Old 06-30-2007, 04:42 PM   #9
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We're done.
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