BAW, I love ya girl, but you have ignored one very important option: adoption. For all those unwanted babies, there ARE homes waiting. My neighbor and her husband are infertile, and have waited for years, because of abortion and illegitimate births being more acceptable now, fewer women are choosing adoption. Almost every paper has several ads of couples wanting to adopt and offering to pay the fees. These are always people with plenty of money too, who can afford the expense of the ads,the lawyers and legal fees. Your friend could have made someone very happy with that baby she aborted.
I HAVE known people who went through it, and that's why I feel this way. I knew two girls who tried to trick guys by going off the pill, then got 'desperate' when they found out he wasn't interested. I know a military man who all but forced a woman to get rid of their one night stand baby to avoid years of child support. Then there was the yuppie couple and the cruise, which was sickening.
I also have a nephew who lives in the garage apt., in my brother's yard. He works only part time at an auto parts store, and his girlfriend is unemployed. She got pregnant. They had the baby, and they are loving it. I give them all the love, support and gifts I can, because they are so much better- yes I said better- than the yuppie couple who claimed they 'couldn't afford it' because of the cruise! I have learned in my life that everyone, me included, tend to 'afford' the things they want to afford and make excuses for the rest. I went to several U2 concerts out of state, and didn't fix my bathtub or buy a new living room sofa. I may be irresponisble, but I admit it, I don't want anybody to hold my hand and pat me on the back and tell me it's okay because it's not.
I had a cousin who was a high school basketball star. He got his girlfriend, the coach's daughter, pregnant. Her parents urged her to do away with it, saying a baby at 17 would 'ruin her life.' Well, my aunt, the cousin's mother, said no one was killing her grandchild and agreed to totally finance the baby. That was many years ago. The girl went to college and became an executive in a bank. My cousin owns his own heating/air conditioning business. They got a divorce two years ago, but marriages that had much better beginnings have lasted less than the 24 years theirs did. Their daughter was a beautiful child, and is now a beautiful young woman working for an ad agency.
I know a young couple from New Mexico. The boy joined the navy to support his wife and baby, now he is in medical school and she is a nurse.
There are lots of options out there, and tommorrow never knows, but where there is life there is hope.
I'm saying, give the baby a chance. There IS adoption if you don't want it, but don't kill it.
I told the story of Fred Durst, now I will tell one I heard on Bono. Okay, like all the stories we hear, we don't know if it's true, but it goes like this: several of their road crew were annoyed to hear Ali was pregnant just before the kickoff of the big world tour, and said what bad timing it was. Apparently someone asked Bono if the baby was planned, and he said "God planned the baby" If that is true, what a beautiful attitude. Take the gift of life that has been given you, a gift so many like my neighbors long for, and give it a chance, with or without you.
Maybe not every girl is 'stupid' and not every guy is an 'asshole' true, but each baby is a unique individual that will never happen again, and though a mistake was made, the baby does not deserve to lose its life because of someone else's inconvenience.
BTW, you mentioned 13 year olds. I have an almost 13 year old daughter, and if she did get pregnant, I would gladly help her raise the baby. Not all parents are, but there is still adoption. I remember sitting in my high schoo gym floor and listening to the other teen girls discuss abortion. Most of us thought it was awful, and one girl even worked for an anti- abortion group. This one girl kept going, 'oh but what about all the poor little 14 year old....' and finally someone said, 'if she had kept her damn pants on she wouldn't have a thing to worry about' and she said 'you're right' and shut up. (This was NOT about rape, but sex) Or, as Rhett Butler said, cheer up, maybe you'll have an accident. Many pregnancies end in miscarriage, too.
I also have a problem with extremists the other way- I know personally a family who lives in a run down trailer and is expecting their sixth child, the oldest is in third grade. They have anti-abortion stickers all over their car, and I think they are having all those kids as some kind of political statement, which is not good either. I don't think they should have aborted some, just been more careful at times, but they didn't want to, and that's another story.
You know, I'm really not a right wing extremist. I actually believe drugs should be legalized (though I don't like them) and things like that. But abortion is one thing I cannot stomach. A living baby is cut up inside its mother's stomach. That is just evil. Maybe it all goes back to what Miss MacPhisto posted- it shouldn't be illegal, but please, at least admit someone is being killed here. Don't try to justify it as a 'choice' and pat the person on the back and tell them not to feel bad they haven't done anything wrong, because they have. They have killed their own child. I cannot image anything worse a woman could do. If you must do it, at least admit it and call it what it is.
I believe that if abortion were to be made illegal except in cases of rape, incest and health concerns, you would see people become less careless. If mistakes do happen, and they are not willing to accept the baby as the special surprise gift it is, there is adoption, someone else will.
[This message has been edited by *Stormy* (edited 03-28-2002).]
