The Quarter-Life Crises?

[Irvine511]

i don't know what i would have done if my parents hadn't paid for college. i had to pay for books and for entertainment, but tuition and room and board were fully covered.

in one sense, i am tremendously grateful, but on the other hand, it does strike me that any responsible parent would pay for as much college tuition as possible.

i also have no debt and live comfortably and have plenty of money to travel and to start saving for that condo i've mentioned. but that's because i've done a whole lot to minimize my costs. i rent a room in a house for a good $3-400 a month less than i'd pay to rent my own studio; i don't own a car; i get clothes at christmas and my birthday; i pack a lunch every day but friday; i don't go out to the bars 3-4 nights a week (anymore ... ).

there are many things that can be done to save money, and i also resent the assumed sense of entitlement assigned to the under-30s. i also don't own many "things" -- i have a bed, some shelves, a bureau, a rug, a small TV/VCR combo, and that's about it (save for books, CDs, and some odds and ends). so we all choose how to spend whatever money we have, and some of us pay for bad choices, but i can't see $75K in student loans as some kind of choice.

 

[Ormus]

it's for the above reasons that i decided not to go into academia.

That makes two of us.

 

[yolland]

Faculty involved with graduate admissions sometimes allow feuds or personal agendas to influence who will be admitted and who will not. For instance, a student that would work with a specific professor may be vetoed by another professor that is looking to spite him or her, or perhaps to promote the growth of their own program over others, etc. This certainly is not always the case, but I have been assured that it happens more than one would like to believe. Furthermore, with budget cuts and state funding issues, many programs are prioritized by administration, resulting in many qualified individuals being kept out owing simply to the glamour of their disciplines. Realistically, there is quite a bit of luck involved with being accepted into graduate programs, especially those with strong reputations. As with anything else, egos can get out of control in academia.

I would cautiously agree with much of this, though I think it varies a LOT depending on which university and which department you're looking at, and I would want to emphasize that the individual applicant never really knows the full truth about what went into his or her consideration process. The situation is often worst with highly desirable applicants who are recommended by their departments for fellowships--typically all departments within a university are competing against each other for a very limited number of fellowships, and the attempts of the selection committee to remain "objective" in their considerations often result in favoring students from big-name programs with the highest GPAs and test scores, even when candidates from "lesser" programs with slightly lower grades or test scores in fact look more interesting.

But really, the biggest problem is that nowadays there are simply too many highly qualified applicants for the really good programs. When you've got, say, 300 students competing for 12 spaces (it happens!), then it's going to take more than arbitrary GPA/GRE cutoff points to whittle it down, and that's where "luck"--or perhaps more correctly, the subtler stuff you only see from inside--becomes important. In the humanities and "soft" social sciences, the writing sample can be hugely important at this stage, and yes, individual professors' interests as well--who gets the most new students for their lab, you or me? or, am I going to get my fantastic-sounding applicant who wants to focus on my research area, or are you going to get your equally fantastic-sounding applicant who wants to focus on yours? Because we don't have room for both, and yes, things like whose research area attracts the most grant funding or holds the most "status" plays into that, as might petty personal squabbles between you and me--e.g., I'm P.O.ed at you because last year you went behind my back to divert funding from the summer-abroad program I'm helping develop into the one you're helping develop...so now, I'm gonna go behind your back to try to get a leg up for my preferred applicant. Stuff like that happens, although that much, I think, is NOT worse than it was 30 years ago...this kind of infighting has always been there; social distances between workers are just greater in academia than they are in many other fields, and the nature of the profession tends to encourage a self-directed, self-prioritizing attitude--you don't get tenure for being Mr. or Ms. Agreeability, although it helps. Throw in the huge growth in the number of students going to college and grad school, the fierce competition between schools for the best students, the fact that professors themselves are often too overburdened with multiple mandatory committee and research commitments these days to really examine the applicants closely (really more common than 'ego'-based problems, IMO), and you've got a recipe for quite a lot of situations such as what you describe.

At the undergrad level though--much much less of an issue, as students there are applying to the university, not to any one particular department (there are some exceptions to that, e.g. University of Chicago where the undergrad programs have always been very much in the shadow of the grad ones, but even then, they seldom involve direct departmental overview). The bias there would more take the form of, are there particular programs the university is really looking to build up, so perhaps a student who e.g. won some national award in that field while in high school might stand out because of that. Which is why it's always good advice, at both the undergrad and grad levels, to apply to several different institutions.

 

[cdisantis83]

In the humanities and "soft" social sciences, the writing sample can be hugely important at this stage, and yes, individual professors' interests as well--who gets the most new students for their lab, you or me? or, am I going to get my fantastic-sounding applicant who wants to focus on my research area, or are you going to get your equally fantastic-sounding applicant who wants to focus on yours?

Admittedly, I was writing with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I don't wish to appear self-aggrandizing here, but coming out of my undergraduate experience, I was the best in my field that my university had to offer. However, I was turned down by all of the graduate programs that I had applied to, except for my undergrad university, where I returned to earn my MA. This fall, I applied to PhD programs, this time being rejected by all of them but one- ironically, the most well-reputed of them all. As it were, my potential advisor at the accepting school found my writing sample to be interesting- a stroke of pure luck. It certainly stings to be rejected, but your point that these programs are flooded with quality applicants is well made; at some point, competant people must be rejected, resulting in some degree of politicking among the faculty regarding who is accepted.

 

[onebloodonelife]

I go to college in a little over two years. My family is upper middle class. I am not getting any money for college from my family.

I will say, 95% of the people I talk to, if not more, will receive money for college from their parents. 80% of them are having them paid entirely.

Lucky bastards.

I'm going to college in the fall, my family is middle class, or upper middle class, and I won't be getting a penny from them for school. So, I used my dad's taxes (parents are divorced) because he runs a business, and makes very little money on paper...I will be getting a great financial aid package. It also helps that the college I'm going to covers a student's entire tuition if they qualify for a federal Pell grant. I may have to take out some loans, but if I hadn't used my dad's taxes for the FAFSA, I would probably had to take out loans to cover all of my costs.

I'm also planning on going to medical school after my undergrad...so then, I will have massive amounts of loans and debts, but it's all worth it in the end.

I look at it this way: I'll end up a better person for having to figure out ways to finance my own education. Since I have to pay for it, the education means more to me, and I'll try harder in classes. But, some people whose parents are footing the bill and didn't really want to go to college in the first place, or are just going because their parents are paying, will end up flunking out or just barely passing. This isn't to say that all people who get their college paid for are like that, but the people from my class are, for the most part.

 

[dazzlingamy]

I think the reason so many people today my age (almost 25! ) are stressed out, and disillusioned is because we were the first generation to grow up with the image machines and 'you can have it all!' slogans in the media prepping us up. The fact is though, is what they're offering is NOT what we want, and its not till we've half killed ourselves trying to get it do we realise it - and that makes the sting worse.

So many people i know are image concscious - we are sold to the fact we must buy a house, not focussing on the fact that the cost for these homes is fucking REDICULOUS and the mortage is going to kill you. We're getting paid more - but more is going to tax and the raising interest rates on loans, and mortage and cars is beating the raise in our salaries.

BUT the reason so many are screwed is because they want it NOW. I want the new i-pod NOW so i'll put it in credit then pay it off over a year rather then saving for 6 months and getting it. Same goes with other electrical goods, clothes, shoes, bags, etc. We live in a celebrity obsessed world, and we're told our twenties are when it all kicks in, where we're partying at the hottest club all nice in our $1000 dress and high heels, only to sleep for 5 mins and go into our office job where we flirt with the boss, and have martini's at lunchtime..blah blah.

People need to realise that having it all doesn't mean you have it all. I moved back home this year to live with my parents to save money to go overseas. I could have gotten a $10,000 loan, and just gone after finishing my grad dip, but i've chosen to hold off a year (even though its KILLING me) to work hard, and save everything I have. No credit cards for me, everything i do is my own money i've earnt.

I just think - everything is moving too fast, everyone wants a piece of every pie around (because we were TOLD it was ours for the taking!) and the depression is because we can't get it, or we don't like the taste when we do.

 

[Irvine511]

I think the reason so many people today my age (almost 25! ) are stressed out, and disillusioned is because we were the first generation to grow up with the image machines and 'you can have it all!'

i would also add that we're told that we can be anything we want to be.

it's a nice sentiment. it's also a tremendous amount of pressure, and a great way to constantly feel dissatisfied no matter what you accomplish.

have a great time traveling!

 

[Bonochick]

i would also add that we're told that we can be anything we want to be.

it's a nice sentiment. it's also a tremendous amount of pressure, and a great way to constantly feel dissatisfied no matter what you accomplish.

I remember as a kid telling my aunt I wanted to be a teacher, and she laughed and said, "Teaching?! You don't want to settle for that! You should be a doctor!"

I ended up not being a teacher. I'm a secretary, and I absolutely love my job. When happily telling my aunt about it, she said, "Well, you're young, you can always go back to school again and get another degree to do something else." If I'd been complaining about my job, I could understand that statement...but I wasn't, I was happy. Her saying that really hurt me, I felt like she didn't feel I'd lived up to my potential. I guess I've just "settled" as a secretary, nevermind the fact that I love doing it.

 

[Devlin]

Ugh. Smack yer aunt. Well, don't, but...Jeez. What's wrong with being a secretary? Or a teacher? If you want to go to school, go for teaching! If that's what you want to do