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Old 03-26-2005, 01:23 PM   #1
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The Dark Force

TURTLE OF SATAN
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/21/evi....ap/index.html
(link includes picture)


MICHIGANTOWN, Indiana (AP) -- An Indiana pet store owner says he sees the image of Satan on the shell of a turtle that was the only survivor of a store fire in October.

The palm-sized red-eared slider turtle, named Lucky, was the only animal to survive the fire at Dora's A-Dora-ble Pet Shop in nearby Frankfort, about 40 miles northwest of Indianapolis.

Owner Bryan Dora now says he sees Satan's face on the critter's shell. He can spot lips, eyes, a goatee, shoulders and a pair of pointy horns on Lucky's back.

"The marking on the shell was like the devil wanted us to know he was down there," Bryan Dora said. "To me, it's too coincidental that the only thing to come out unscathed would have this image on it."

The image was not visible before the fire and Dora speculates the intense heat might have caused the shell's color to change. The turtle is healthy and there was no change in its behavior, he said.

The cause of fire that destroyed nine businesses or offices in the 1912 building in downtown Frankfort has not been determined.

"Turtles can hold their breath quite awhile," Dora said. "He may have taken one breath just before and held it through the fire. Except that the fire went on and on for hours."
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Old 03-26-2005, 01:25 PM   #2
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Malawi's President Flees Haunted Mansion
Posted by: Empty_Purple_Stars on Mar 17, 2005 - 12:00 PM
Horror Fiction

LILONGWE, Malawi - Malawi's president has temporarily moved out of his 300-bedroom state mansion, claiming it is haunted by ghosts, a senior aide said Saturday.

The Rev. Malani Mtonga, presidential aide on Christian affairs, said that President Bingu wa Mutharika had asked the clergy to pray to "exorcise evil spirits."

Mtonga refused to give further details about the ghosts. But another aide, who asked for anonymity, said that the president hears footsteps and strange noises at night. Nobody else, including the president's wife, hears anything, the aide said.

He said it had been decided that the 71-year-old president would sleep at another house in Mtunthama, some 60 miles from the capital, and just work at the presidential mansion.

Mutharika returned Saturday from a weeklong official visit to the European Union (news - web sites) headquarters in Brussels, Belgium, and Luxembourg. It was not immediately clear whether he would spend the night at the mansion or in Mtunthama.

Mutharika moved into the mansion last December amid protests from civil rights groups and opposition leaders who accused him of reneging on his promise to trim government spending.

The presidential mansion was built over 20 years by Malawi's founding president Hastings Kamuzu Banda. The aging dictator stayed in it for only 90 days.

Bakili Muluzi, who succeeded Banda after the 1994 elections that broke the latter's 30-year hold on power, refused to stay in the home, calling it "obscene opulence" amid grinding poverty. Malawi, in southern Africa, is one of the continent's poorest countries.

Efforts to sell the house to international buyers foundered, and the government turned it into parliamentary headquarters until Mutharika assumed power.
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Old 03-26-2005, 01:31 PM   #3
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bow down and pray
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Old 03-26-2005, 01:34 PM   #4
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I'm going to check out MY red eared slider....
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Old 03-26-2005, 01:36 PM   #5
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ok, whatever, the back of my Buddy's shell looks the same as the satanic turtle's. should I be concerned?
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Old 03-26-2005, 01:42 PM   #6
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Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
ok, whatever, the back of my Buddy's shell looks the same as the satanic turtle's. should I be concerned?
Only is he won't eat the chocolate cross.

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Old 03-26-2005, 03:50 PM   #7
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hmmm... well is the devil or the image of the Chicago Bulls
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Old 03-26-2005, 03:52 PM   #8
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ah yes, because we all know what satan looks like, don't we?

what some people will do for a buck.
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Old 03-26-2005, 05:23 PM   #9
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Originally posted by deep


Only is he won't eat the chocolate cross.


poor turtle...
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Old 03-26-2005, 05:46 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by dazzledbylight



poor turtle...
Ineed!!
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Old 03-26-2005, 07:26 PM   #11
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Originally posted by U2democrat
ah yes, because we all know what satan looks like, don't we?

what some people will do for a buck.
are you trying to say that this man doesn't know the face of satan?
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Old 03-26-2005, 07:37 PM   #12
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If you fear Hell, here is some good news

SATAN BOOTED OUT OF HELL -- FOR BEING TOO MEAN TO HUMANS!

SAN FRANCISCO -- Satan has been kicked out of Hell in a shocking "palace revolt" engineered by slick lawyers in his legal department, stunned satanists claim.

The stunning move might sound like crazy talk to some, but it re-portedly has split the demonic hierarchy, and left shaken devil worshipers around the world in a state of disarray.

"All the most cunning criminal lawyers are ganging up on him, several powerful arch demons have defected, and the Lord Lucifer has been thrown out of his house and home with no one to defend him," according to Brother Damian, the leading North American apostle of Thee Satanic Church of the Nephalim.

"This is a monumental tragedy!"

Speaking to a reporter for an underground newspaper widely circulated in the satanic and legal communities, Brother Damian said discontent was simmering for years over human rights violations allegations by a powerful cabal of lawyers led by a radical left-wing agitator who joined them in 1995.

"So the Master was already on shaky ground when he gave the malcontents the opening they were waiting for by signing a flawed contract for the souls of 250 employees of dot-com wunderkind Barden Ganderfeld," Brother Damian said.

The stunning story was first reported in the March 30 edition of Weekly World News and showed a photograph of the controversial contract with improperly printed pentagrams appearing as seals.

Pentagrams emblazoned on the document show a single point facing up, which is a universal symbol commonly used by witches, sorcerers and other occultists practicing white magic.

Satanic or black magic pentagrams are inverted with two points facing up in the shape of horns, a universal symbol representing Baphomet the goat.

Brother Damian defended his Master, and said Satan was set up by backstabbing legal counsel working in collusion with rogue arch demons.

"The Lord Lucifer is getting old and he had a huge legal department filled with attorneys he trusted to draw up proper contracts," he said. "This was no innocent lawyerly mistake."

The error cost Satan 250 souls, and the treacherous legal eagles pounced on the blunder to rally Hell's malcontents and take over.

The arch demon Behemoth, known for his greediness and gluttony as well as his role as special protector of lawyers, reportedly joined with Astaroth, Balam and the queen of demons -- Lilith -- to lure legions of lesser imps into supporting the coup d'etat.

"The Lord Lucifer was especially hurt by Lilith's betrayal," Brother Damian said. "But she's always been untrustworthy ever since walking out on Adam, the first man, and becoming mistress to the demon Sammael."

Satan, with his chief lieutenant Belial, Abraxas, and other loyalists were banished, and are said to be looking for temporary quarters in the New York subway system or in Afghanistan.
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Old 03-26-2005, 07:50 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by deep


Only is he won't eat the chocolate cross.

My sulcata tortoise would have eaten it!

He went crazy for Reese's Pieces.

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Old 03-26-2005, 09:13 PM   #14
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My cat used to eat treacle pudding and swiss chocolate!
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Old 03-26-2005, 09:55 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by U2democrat
ah yes, because we all know what satan looks like, don't we?
Good point.

Yeah...some people are...odd...

Angela
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