support an abused child

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Irvine511

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an abused child writes:

"I haven't been on a computer, phone, nor have I seen any friends in a week almost-- Soon. Soon, this will be all over. My mother has said the worst things to me for three days straight... three days. I went numb. That's the only way I can get through this. I agree, if you're thinking that these posts might be dramatized.. but the proof of the program's ideas are sitting in the rules. I pray this blows over. I can't take this... noone can... not really, this kind of thing tears you apart emotionally. To introduce THIS subject... I'm not a suicidal person... really I'm not.. I think it's stupid - really. But.. I can't help it, no im not going to commit suicide, all I can think about is killing my mother and myself. It's so horrible. This is what it's doing to me... I have this horrible feeling all of the time... I wish this on no person..."

this is was posted by a boy named Zack. you can find his blog here and send him a message of support:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?f...428306&blogID=29364299&Mytoken=20050610163431

what happened to Zack? he is gay.

when did this start? Zack writes:

"Well today, my mother, father, and I had a very long "talk" in my room where they let me know I am to apply for a fundamentalist christian program for gays. They tell me that there is something psychologically wrong with me, and they "raised me wrong." I'm a big screw up to them, who isn't on the path God wants me to be on. So I'm sitting here in tears, joing the rest of those kids who complain about their parents on blogs - and I can't help it.

I wish I had never told them. I wish I just fought the urge two more years... I had done it for three before then, right? If I could take it all back.. I would, to where I never told my parents things and they always were mad at me-- It's better than them crying and depressed cause they will have no granchildren from me. It's better than them telling me that there's something wrong with me. It's better than them explaining to me that they "raised me wrong."

here's the website for the "Straight Camp" that is currently persecuting Zack: http://www.asafeplace.org/

this "camp" is run by John Smid, the director of Love In Action (LIA), San Rafael's "ex-gay" organization. Smid runs "camps" where gay kids and teens are sent by their parents for compulsory "re-orientation" toward heterosexuality. Smid has also said: ""I would rather you commit suicide than have you leave Love In Action wanting to return to the gay lifestyle. In a physical death you could still have a spiritual resurrection; whereas, returning to homosexuality you are yielding yourself to a spiritual death from which there is no recovery."

what kind of a parent would hand their child over to a man like that? as far as i'm concerned, anyone who would do something like that to a kid shouldn't be a parent. maybe i'm freaked because when I was Zach's age, something like this was my worst nightmare, and was one of the main reasons why i stayed firmly in the closet until my mid-20s.

this is child abuse. Zach deserves better.
 
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Irvine511 said:
Smid has also said: ""I would rather you commit suicide than have you leave Love In Action wanting to return to the gay lifestyle.

Unfuckingbelievable.

As for the camp...:rolleyes:. I don't get this line of thinking. I just don't. Straight people wouldn't like trying to be turned gay, so why do it to gay people? Just. Leave. Them. Alone.

Argh.

Angela
 
Irvine511 said:
...returning to homosexuality you are yielding yourself to a spiritual death from which there is no recovery."

isn't suppressing, denying, and learning to hate who you really are akin to spiritual death?

"a safe place"?

oh, the irony...

i agree, definitely child abuse.
 
I was raised as a catholic and I believe in God and Jesus.... but, definitely, I feel embarrased by the way the Catholic Church and some "Christian" groups haven been spreading the bigotry against gay people.... I think that many of these people have misread the teachings of Christ turning them into an excuse for their own hate and ignorance. Did Jesus said that gay people are bad???? no.... did He ever talked about homosexuality??? no... cuz He wasn't there to talk about that, there are more important things, like respect each other and love each other.

I was looking at the camp's web site and I felt sick... I mean, does God really care if you are gay or not?????... i think that He wouldn't care if you're gay or not, but he cares about your happiness and the things you do to make the others happy. being gay or straight is just a part of each one of us.

And another thing I was thinking: why, when someone "came out the closet" is labeled just "gay" ignoring the rest of his/her qualities? (even worse when some people think that being gay is sick ) ...I mean, when people talks about a gay person that person is not kind or mean or talented, just "gay" and that's it :| . when this kid of the blog told his parents he's gay, they reacted like all the good or bad things of this kid were forgotten just to become a "gay" , he is not a good kid a good student or a bad one, he is just "gay", and the rest of him doesn't matter for his parents, cuz their heads are so full of crap...
 
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This is horrifying. I can't believe that these people are treating their own child like this. I will agree, this is child abuse. They are judging him by his sexual preference and that's all. To heck with all of his human characteristics, talents, and capabilities. They're treating him as a piece of garbage, not like a person. As far as they're concerned he's not a human being. I go to mass and take the Eucharist, but I don't approve of the Vatican's campaign against gays. It's causing an unbelievable amount of suffering.
 
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Things like this make me very angry. Maybe someone should notify his local social worker and get him removed from that abusive home, and that "camp" should get raided for practicing quackery. We'd arrest someone for selling snake oil, so these "conversion" camps should get the same. "Religious freedom" doesn't mean freedom to set up a racket.

Melon
 
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melon said:
"Religious freedom" doesn't mean freedom to set up a racket.



that's another good point.

i looked at the application -- it costs $1000 a week to send your child to "straight camp." while these parents are reprehensible, they're also scared, and being totally exploited.

think of what that $1000 a week could have gone towards instead ... but, really, the most important thing is to be straight. it's better to be straight and a deadbeat than be gay and a productive, happy member of society.

and i should know.

all children want to please their parents. i thought, for years, that being gay essentially cancelled out all my other characteristics (both good and bad). subsequently, much of my life has been a rather anxious overcompensation for my perceived unworthiness. i'm only now beginning to deal with this and to understand that i'll never be happy trying to become what other people want you to be.
 
melon said:
"Religious freedom" doesn't mean freedom to set up a racket.

I agree with this statement too, and it sounds like this camp definitely fits that description. The parents are most likely traumatized by finding this out, but they have crossed the line here. I once read a quote by the parents of a Christian Evangelist who had lost his entire ministry b/c he admitted that he was gay. They said "He may be an abomination, but he's our pride and joy." Even though Zach's parents may believe homosexuality is wrong, love for your children comes first.
 
I just can't even begin to imagine how awful it'd feel to be unaccepted by your own family. I mean, you can choose friends, and if some random person on the street calls you a name, you can shrug it off a little better, 'cause they don't know you personally, they're just being dumb.

But you don't choose your family, and you have to live with them (at least, up until a certain age, anyway), and...yeah. I just can't imagine.

A :hug: to anyone who's ever been treated like dirt by their family for simply being who they are. That's not cool.

Angela
 
I guess I have been living on moon because I can't believe people act so stupid. Our society should be more intelligent. Stright camp? what the hell?
 
melon said:
Things like this make me very angry. Maybe someone should notify his local social worker and get him removed from that abusive home, and that "camp" should get raided for practicing quackery. We'd arrest someone for selling snake oil, so these "conversion" camps should get the same. "Religious freedom" doesn't mean freedom to set up a racket.

Melon

I agree. Someone needs to intervene in this... this is definately crazy. The fact that someone can be so... incapable of acceptance is definately not right. This isn't the 50s. If many parents can accept that their child is happy being whomever they are, why can't they?
 
I should set one of these up; teach kids how to pretend to be straight and pocket the big bucks; parents get a straight kid, kids get to be who they are and I get money ~ It's win freaking win :wink:

Seriously though, these jokers should be shut down with that money you could pay for other things, better things.
 
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Is there any precedent for this sort of thing?
If someone called CPS, would it fall under "don't waste our time, it's the parents choice on how to raise their children" or could they actually do anything.
This is just so heartbreaking...
 
I used to have a lesbian friend who'd been rejected by her strict Catholic family. As far as they were concerned she didn't exist. It was so sad to see the effects of this sort of rejection. Good grief, I don't think these gay haters are really human beings, they're monsters.
 
There's a special place in hell for these parents. And there's a lower circle of hell for the religions that cause this illogical hatred.

Melon
 
Update-

http://www.newyorkblade.com/thelatest/thelatest.cfm?blog_id=1265

Tenn. investigates ex-gay camp
Teen's blog leads to outcry, charges of abuse at unlicensed facility
Jun 23, 3:41 PM

The state of Tennessee has begun an investigation in response to allegations of child abuse at Love in Action, a Memphis facility that advertises homosexual conversion therapy for adolescents, according to the state department of health.

K. Daniele Edwards, a spokesperson for Child Services at the Tennessee Department of Health, confirmed an investigation is underway but declined to comment on the details. She noted that she presumes the Love in Action program would require licensing by the state.

Gay activists protested outside an unlicensed 'ex-gay' facility run by Love In Action, which Tennessee officials are investigating to see if teens are being mistreated.

Love in Action is not licensed by the Tennessee Departments of Health, Mental Health, Human Services, Child Services or Education, according to Rachel Lassiter of Gov. Phil Bredesen's communications office.

Refuge, Love in Action's program for adolescents, became the focus of public concern earlier this month after a Bartlett, Tenn., teen who uses the blogger name Zach, posted online entries that say his parents had responded to his coming out as gay by sending him to a religious institution to be converted to heterosexuality.

"Emotional abuse is difficult to prove in the state of Tennessee," said Pamela Dickey, director of the advocacy center for Childhelp USA in Knoxville. "You have to document that the child is undergoing depression or suicidal ideation, that he can't sleep, or can't eat."

Officials from Love in Action had appealed for "tolerance" of their program at a June 16 news conference.

"It is our spiritual conviction that sexual behavior outside of heterosexual marriage is considered wrong in the sight of God," said John Smid, the program's director, who describes himself as "ex-gay," according to a partial transcript of the news conference.

"This program is operated on the will of the guardian or parent. We will work with the minor children as long as they are not overtly distracting to their own program or the program of others," Smid added. "If it is shown that the client is overtly treatment resistant, we will work with the parent towards alternative options for their care and overall relational health."

Blogger E.J. Friedman said that he had been corresponding with Zach via e-mail since March and became alarmed when he saw that Zach had begun to write that his world was coming to an end and that his parents were isolating him.

"When I saw Zach had written in his blog, 'all I can think of is killing my mother and killing myself' I felt that clearly something needed to be said about the program," Friedman said.

No word from teen

Word of Zach's situation quickly spread around the blogosphere. By press time, more than 1,000 messages of support had been posted to Zach's blog and an online petition demanded that he be released from Love in Action. Comedian Margaret Cho contributed a message of support.

But Zach has not posted to his blog since the first week in June and sources contacted by the Blade would not confirm Zach's full name. His parents also could not be identified.

Morgan Fox, 25, who said he was a friend of Zach's, said he believed Zach was in a two-week Refuge program.

Meanwhile, a group called the Queer Action Coalition has begun daily demonstrations in front of Love in Action offices to raise awareness of the dangers of "ex-gay" therapy.
 
Sickening.

Makes me just so angry,

I have a very close friend and she is bi-sexual. She told me how she was forced to tell her Priest about her sexual orientation. SHe was never so embarassed, then her parents sent her to live with an Uncle 500 miles away from her friends.

I went with her and her g/f last week to Gay pride, I was the proudest person there for her and im sure all the others who had some sort of ordeal.
 
I read this with disbelief and despair. What is our world coming too? Whatever happened to tolerance and compassion and unconditional love? Why are people so worried about themselves or what someone else thinks that they would do this to their child? While I am sure the parents must be in shock, why can't they see how much it must have taken for their son to discuss this with them. I feverently hope that Zack is okay. It is times like this when I am thankful of the internet.
 
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