anitram said:
It's not about feeling for the murderer for me.
It's about recognizing that the living must go on with life. It is an incredibly difficult thing to get up in the morning and not want vengeance and not want revenge. And it takes many years to get to that point. But you have to regain some of your own humanity at some point or you have nothing left. So to not want vengeance is more about your own peace of mind, and coming to terms that the people who are no longer here with you will never be here with you again, and whether or not the person responsible for it is killed in their name will not change that. It won't make your life easier. It won't make you sleep better at night or miss them any less, or feel a sense of satisfaction. Forgiveness is an amazing thing, moreso for your own good than for their
That is beautiful, the way you said that. I haven't read through the entire thread (it seems to have gone the way I thought, it is an emotional topic but it would be nice to have a discussion about it that doesn't get nasty), but I will be honest and say that my complete sympathy for crime victims and their families has led me on occasion to have a gut , emotional reaction to the death penalty, expecially in the rape and murder of a woman, wife, pregnant wife or the heinous murder of any child. I have no sympathy whatsoever for the criminals, other than the fact that it is a tragic waste- that they could have made different choices in life. Case in point Tookie Williams. I think it is wonderful if he did find some redemption in prison, and Jesus was all about redemption. And there can always be lingering doubts about executing innocent people. I don't know if he was innocent, he claimed he was.
But I cannot support the death penalty, it is against my beliefs and it ultimately leaves me with a hollow, empty, somewhat sick feeling(and for me that doesn't negate in any way the same feeling I have about the criminals). Even some of the victims' families feel that way, they mentioned Bud Welch last night on CNN. His daughter Julie was killed in the Murrah Federal Building (Oklahoma City) and at first he wanted death for McVeigh-now he goes around speaking against the death penalty. Obviously he is just one example and not every family member feels that way. but it is just something to read about/think about. I have never been in their shoes, so I would never give myself the right to judge any of them regarding how they feel. That is for them to come to terms with.
a little bit about Bud Welch
http://www.journeyofhope.org/old_site/People/bud_welch.htm
“I was opposed to the death penalty all my life until my daughter Julie Marie was killed in the Oklahoma City bombing. For many months after the bombing I could have killed Timothy McVeigh myself. Temporary insanity is real, and I have lived it. You can’t think of enough adjectives to describe the rage, revenge, and hate I felt. But after time, I was able to examine my conscience, and I realized that if McVeigh is put to death, it won’t help me in the healing process. People talk about executions bringing closure. But how can there be closure when my little girl is never coming back. I finally realized that the death penalty is all about revenge and hate, and revenge and hate are why Julie Marie and 167 others are dead.”
In April 1995, Bud Welch’s 23 year old daughter was killed in the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. In the months after her death, he changed from supporting the death penalty for Timothy McVeigh to taking a public stand against it. His change of heart was inspired in part by Julie Marie herself. Once, while listening to a radio report on an execution in Texas, she had turned to him and said, “Dad, that makes me sick. All those Texans are doing is teaching all the children down there to hate. The murderer did wrong, but now the government has stooped to his level.”
Bud eventually arranged to meet with Timothy McVeigh’s father, Bill. “I saw a deep pain in a father’s eye, but also an incredible love for his son.” Bud says, “I was able to tell him that I truly understood the pain that he was going through, and that he – as I – was a victim of what happened in Oklahoma City.”
) as to what is now--not necessarily what will be forever.
I'm capable of kindness. I'm equally as capable of hate. I'm not inherently nice. I am aware of my own violence. 
