Spanking - should it be legal or not? - Page 3 - U2 Feedback

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Old 04-04-2005, 09:18 AM   #31
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i was a mischevious little tomboy. my dad loved it cause i was like the little boy he never had but i drove my mom crazy. in fact, that's still the case!
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Old 04-04-2005, 09:25 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
I would hold spanking as one of those "ultimate punishments".

I am not opposed to spanking, but I have not reached the point where I've needed to spank my children.

Clear, direct expectations handle most discipline situations.



to me, the need to spank is indicative of parental failure (for the situation ... not that you've failed as a parent, just with whatever situation might be at hand).

but we're all human, so i don't think spanking should be illegal, or that only bad people/parents spank their children. and children can get spanked and grow up just fine, and being a parent is so difficult that i can understand sort of losing your cool and swatting a child on the backside.

i don't think it's good, but i understand it, and were i to one day become a parent myself, i would hope that i would never resort to having to spank. i don't think it should be the preferred method of discipline, and i think it accomplishes little except to at least end an argument/problem/whatever, then everyone gets a cooling off period, then you can discuss what just happened and why.

on an aside note, i'm the eldest of 3 children. i remember being spanked as a child, but my younger brother and sister were not.

i can't tell any difference in our personalities/attitudes that might have resulted from this. i would say, so long as parenting on the whole is positive and consistent, spanking probably makes little difference in the end.

but then again, you are instilling the idea that physical force is an acceptable method to solve a problem or dispute ... i think spanking might work when a child is younger than, say, 6, but after that point you're simply going to get a child who internalizes that negative message.

i am, however, fiercely opposed to "whuppings" or whatever it was called in the past. my grandmother's father used to literally take her brothers out behind the house and whip them with belts. granted, this was the 1920s, but to this day, even in her increasingly senile state, she remains *terrified* of her father.

how sad.
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Old 04-04-2005, 09:33 AM   #33
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whuppings are definitely bad. if something leaves physical and emotional scars instead of just discipline, a parent has gone waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far.
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Old 04-04-2005, 10:24 AM   #34
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A more appropriate form of discipline might be a Kings of Leon album, set on repeat.
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Old 04-04-2005, 10:26 AM   #35
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or Enya.
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Old 04-04-2005, 10:28 AM   #36
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or george bush.
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Old 04-04-2005, 01:05 PM   #37
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I mostly agree with Irvine and NBC.

I don't see spanking as a "parental failure" though, more like a last resort to get the job done. When you have to choose between sucking up to their ongoing whining or discipline against their will, it's not necessarily your fault. I don't think it's all about losing control, it's more of a way of standing your ground when you have to.
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Old 04-04-2005, 01:18 PM   #38
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While I admire the noble ideals behind reasoning with your children, I think there's a point after which you can't reason with a three year old. As a parent, I know this is true.

I try to model my own parents, who resolved:
A) never to spank in anger;
B) never spank for a first offense;
C) always talk about why I was getting spanked before I got spanked; and
D) talk after the spanking.

My parents always hugged me after the spanking, and told me they loved me. It made a world of difference when compared to my friends, who were often pinched instead of spanked (which I think frankly is worse), or (worse) never disciplined at all.

Sorry for almost hijacking the thread earlier with my Kings of Leon comment.
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Old 04-04-2005, 01:29 PM   #39
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nathan
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Old 04-04-2005, 01:32 PM   #40
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In short, I don't know how to respond to this thread. Between how inherently rotten kids seem to be, coupled with all the "out of control teens" on daytime TV, I'm kind of loathe to ever want children.

Either way, I don't think I will even remotely want them until I'm 30 or so. Six years to go, at minimum.

Melon
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Old 04-04-2005, 01:38 PM   #41
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yeah...kids and i don't gel. i don't know why but they don't like me and i don't like them
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Old 04-04-2005, 01:46 PM   #42
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As many have said so far, there is a difference between discipline and battery.

One big concern, for me, is that this concentration on abolishing smacking/spanking of kids, will unnecessarily take up an awful lot of time with police/social sevices/justice system. This could mean that children who are being seriously abused don't get the right help when they need it. In the UK this is frequently the case now even while spanking/smacking is allowed...
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Old 04-04-2005, 03:05 PM   #43
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i think after a certain age, spanking is a bad idea. a light little smack to a three year old is very different from telling an 8 year old to assume the position. after a certain age, the child starts to make connections between violence and punishment, and humiliation and punishment.

pinching, to me, sounds really rather nasty.

kids love me, i love kids. but i don't know that i'm ready to take care of one just yet -- i can barely feed and dress myself these days ...
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Old 04-04-2005, 03:20 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by pax
I think physical discipline should be reserved for times when a child in physical danger--e.g. smacking a child's hand away from a hot stove.
Very true.

Quote:
Originally posted by pax
That said, though, there definitely has to be a balance between discipline and letting a kid do some exploration and having fun. I think my parents had a pretty good mixof that; there were things I was not allowed to do under any circumstances, but I also remember being let loose pretty frequently. I think it helped me grow up into a person who is creative and independent-thinking, but also responsible.
Exactly. My parents had their rules, but they weren't all strict and stuff, so my sister and I never really felt a huge need to rebel against them, because there wasn't much to rebel against.

Also, in regards to the mentions of wooden spoons and belts and swatting kids when they're older...yeah, don't agree with any of that at all. As pointed out, the older a kid gets, the better they'll be at understanding the consequences of their actions (well, most kids will understand that, anyway-some kids still will never get it, hell, there's some adults that don't get it). And belts...those leave welts, those leave nasty marks...that's not exactly the best way I can think of to punish a child. You don't want your kid to live in fear of you, after all.

Angela
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Old 04-04-2005, 04:05 PM   #45
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Modern kids are horrible little shits, and should all be spanked once in a while. Bring back the cane, I say.

They've had it coming for years.



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