Singles of FYM...Look no further! - Page 2 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind > Free Your Mind Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 04-14-2004, 03:01 PM   #16
BVS
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BVS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: between my head and heart
Posts: 40,667
Local Time: 08:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
I would say that as long as all parties are consenting adults, I have nothing against arranged marriage. If someone wants, feel free to try to convince me otherwise (I'm really open to arguements here).
How do you measure if it's 100% consentual? This is something that's ingrained into their heads and their culture.
__________________

__________________
BVS is online now  
Old 04-14-2004, 03:06 PM   #17
ONE
love, blood, life
 
zoney!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: six metro locations
Posts: 11,292
Local Time: 08:09 PM
I was actually asking Anitram how her friend felt.
__________________

__________________
zoney! is offline  
Old 04-14-2004, 09:20 PM   #18
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 09:09 PM
If the man agrees to let his parents find him a wife and if the woman agrees to let her parents find her a husband.
__________________
Liesje is offline  
Old 04-14-2004, 09:29 PM   #19
Blue Crack Addict
 
anitram's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NY
Posts: 16,279
Local Time: 09:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by zoney!


How does she feel about it?
She is considering moving out of the house and is dating a white guy secretly.
__________________
anitram is online now  
Old 04-15-2004, 11:08 AM   #20
BVS
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BVS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: between my head and heart
Posts: 40,667
Local Time: 08:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
If the man agrees to let his parents find him a wife and if the woman agrees to let her parents find her a husband.
But that's like saying cultures that require women to be submissive, that the women are consenting to this notion. This is how the men and women in these cultures have been raised and most women aren't educated enough to realize this isn't how it needs to be.

How do you know if it's consentual when your culture tells you this is the only way it's done? Is it truly consentual?
__________________
BVS is online now  
Old 04-15-2004, 12:02 PM   #21
Jesus Online
 
Angela Harlem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 01:09 PM
Its not just that (that I have a problem with) though I agree as well, but its the parents being so involved in who you spend the rest of your life with. This concept is so foreign to me. Parental approval of who you choose is/should be very important, but not their decision. It isn't their marriage. Fine for them to pick you some arsehole bastard (or the female equivilant) who wont love and respect you etc. It's also the marriages which are not happy and successful. What of them? Do the parents then give permission for the divorce? Or are these young people forced/coerced into suffering silently for the rest of their lives simply to 'please the parents'?

Also, I know this covers a few different cultures, but these women on the link at the top aren't uneducated. Quite the opposite really, though an academic education doesn't always make one wise I spose.
__________________
<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/angelaharlem/thPaul_Roos28.jpg target=_blank>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...aul_Roos28.jpg</a>
Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 04-15-2004, 01:15 PM   #22
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 09:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar

How do you know if it's consentual when your culture tells you this is the only way it's done? Is it truly consentual?
If you want to then it's consentual. I consent to drink a can of mountain dew everyday b/c I want it, not b/c pop culture (no pun intended) says Dew is the "cool" pop and I should drink it.
__________________
Liesje is offline  
Old 04-15-2004, 01:19 PM   #23
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 09:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
Its not just that (that I have a problem with) though I agree as well, but its the parents being so involved in who you spend the rest of your life with. This concept is so foreign to me. Parental approval of who you choose is/should be very important, but not their decision. It isn't their marriage. Fine for them to pick you some arsehole bastard (or the female equivilant) who wont love and respect you etc.
When I think of arranged marriages that I'm OK with, I'm thinking of like when the parents pick a few girls and the boy gets to meet them each and they all decide together as a family. Of course, I'd never do this, but I like it b/c marriage is about family and should include family to some extent. In our culture, we don't really include family beyond the guy asking the girl's dad if she can marry him. But just because our marrital arrangement lack family involvement doesn't mean any other way is wrong.
__________________
Liesje is offline  
Old 04-15-2004, 01:20 PM   #24
BVS
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BVS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: between my head and heart
Posts: 40,667
Local Time: 08:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic


If you want to then it's consentual. I consent to drink a can of mountain dew everyday b/c I want it, not b/c pop culture (no pun intended) says Dew is the "cool" pop and I should drink it.
My point is that do these cultures or parents allow for anything else other than arranged marriages?
__________________
BVS is online now  
Old 04-15-2004, 09:51 PM   #25
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 09:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar


My point is that do these cultures or parents allow for anything else other than arranged marriages?
I'm not really sure. All I'm saying is that consentual arranged marriages I have no problem with. And these happen everywhere in the world, including the US. I'm not trying to justify someone's "culture" or anything like that. If the parents don't allow for anything else, then I'd say that's the problem, not the acutal arranged marriage.

I'm thinking of a show I saw on TLC or something where a normal guy living in the US called his family back in India and asked them to help arrange a marriage. They chose a few girls who were interested, he went to India, the entire family visited each girl and her family, and then they made a decision together. The guy and chosen girl got married and were still happy together when the show aired. I don't see what's wrong about their marriage. Of course, there are other factors like if the girl was only 14, or forced by her parents, etc that are awful, but THOSE things are what would've made the marriage wrong, not just the fact that it was arranged.
__________________
Liesje is offline  
Old 04-16-2004, 06:14 AM   #26
you are what you is
 
Salome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 22,016
Local Time: 03:09 AM
how romantic


seriously though
(completely of subject, but anyways)
expecting to just run into the love of your life might be a bit on the naive side
but picking from a number of males/females who have decided that they are also tired of being alone sounds a bit too much like a job interview to me
__________________

__________________
“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”
~Frank Zappa
Salome is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:09 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com