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Old 10-02-2001, 01:40 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem:

Sounds quite normal over all though, I found that people who excel at something to the degree you do, are always seekig stimulation.

I agree with you, Angela. It's quite difficult to fulfill all of your spiritual and emotional needs. It does take time and you don't have to be nervous.

Melon, the "uniqueness" you seek will come, but I guess it's more like a natural process, not only from knowledge and the unstoppable inquiry of the mind, but also through human contact.

Things are much more simple than we think. We get depressed, spend hours making plans for our suicide and suddenly we meet a person (a God, an Idea) who can change our lives, just like that.

And don't be sad if you feel empty. We're all empty. But we still have eachother.




------------------
Got to walk out of here, I can't take anymore
Gonna stand on that bridge, keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come and whatever may go
that river's flowing

"Don't Give Up", Peter Gabriel
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Old 10-02-2001, 05:54 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by melon:
I don't see a point to much of this anymore. I'm thinking of making an extended retreat into Whortense.

It's just that the serious things seem so inconsequential lately, and I really don't feel much like myself anymore.

But I'm rambling...

Melon

You can run bud you can`t hide. You will alway`s be Lemon. Try to accept that you are
human.

I did read a lot of unique written down
here but all that is see is I am a realist
ect. Do you realy need a label for yourself ?



------------------
I can`t change the world but i can
change the world in me.

Read you, Rono.
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Old 10-03-2001, 05:10 AM   #18
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((((Melon))))

------------------
Remember the goul.

Shake n' bake
Do whatever it takes
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Old 10-03-2001, 06:21 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by melon:
I find my "uniqueness" to be the ultimate curse. I cannot relate with the whole of society anymore. And simple things like love rendered forever complex.
Hey melon, I know where you are coming from, but don't forget that we are all unique in different ways or forms. Its just a matter of finding people that are similarily unique to yourself. It will happen in time - usually when you don't know it. Maybe you feel confined having travelled and become more open to the outside world than those currently around you in day to day life. I am kinda the same, always have been, probably always will. But that need not be a detriment to your life, go with the positives of it.

Just think when you were a baby, what would the odds be of you running into the people that you know know in your life? Unbeleivably remote. And what makes you unique is what makes you who you are, what makes us all who we are.

Don't forget that as things become more complex they can actually become more simple.
Its easier said than done, but when you have purpose behind your actions, when you use your talents for a benefit, good will come...

As for love, maybe you will meet that one in a million person - and if not, then there must be another 250 of them in the US alone so don't stop looking. Sure its complex, but at least its not boring.
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Old 10-03-2001, 06:42 AM   #20
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btw, i'm an idealist too. Whilst idealists may be rare within the general public, they're not too rare around here.

[This message has been edited by zoomerang II (edited 10-03-2001).]
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Old 10-03-2001, 07:44 AM   #21
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This statement leapt out at me: "I hate myself for seeking what no mortal should seek." So what is it exactly you seek, my friend?? What do you judge so very harshly? If Spirit moves you to seek it...why shouldn't you?
And have you forgotten that you are not merely "mortal"? that we are Spirit having a human experience -- not the other way round? So many years I lived through my rational mind, my intellect, my ability to process information -- especially the "Serious" Stuff. Radical discovery: some knowledge is simply NOT process-able by the intellect! Some critical information must be processed through the senses. Through the skin, the soles of the feet, the heart. Knowledge of the whole world may be grasped in the moment you are standing in: the smell of the air, the wet grass, the sorrow in your heart. Maybe your heart's only asking your head to get out of the way of knowledge that's trying to get in... Will you answer my original question?

I wanna get it wrong
Can't always be strong
And love it won't be long...
Baby baby baby light my way

blessings,
Deb

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Old 10-03-2001, 09:46 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by truecoloursfly:
Maybe your heart's only asking your head to get out of the way of knowledge that's trying to get in...
I felt I needed to say something, but Deb summed it up quite well. I think there are many of us (more so with us idealists) that get trapped experiencing everything through our minds when much of our life reqiures us to live it through our senses. I struggle with this a great deal, and I don't even have that great of an intellect. One day at a time.

God Bless and take care,
Mark

p.s. (((melon))) - cyber hugs are nice, but go get a real hug from somebody.



------------------
And love is not the easy thing... The only baggage you can bring... Is all that you can't leave behind.
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Old 10-03-2001, 01:03 PM   #23
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Melon..
Take a trip to Florida and stay with Emeraldscorpio and myself..

Seriously..If you ever want to get away, your more than welcomed to come and stay with us and enjoy Florida..
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Old 10-03-2001, 04:02 PM   #24
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Quote:

but, in the meantime, it just feels so incredibly empty.

Melon

melon, I really appreciate your candor. And may I add I have always appreciated your intellectual contributions here, they are stimulating and cause us to evaluate our own thinking, thus provoking healing. So be proud of what you have done, it has not be for naught! To be honest with you, I have been feeling emotionally drained myself, and haven't been able to keep up with much intelligent conversation. I can totally understand if you feel that you can't "produce" now. Don't feel like a failure for that! Allow yourself a breather. Take the pressure off yourself. Even U2 "went away for a while" and look, they came out with Achtung Baby.

I have to agree with 80sU2isBest! When we are weak, God gives us His strength. Really, we can do nothing without Him (John 15:4-5). It is so important to get in a right relationship with God. Jesus says "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well."(Matt. 6:33). Trust God! That's where our hearts find true fulfillment and peace. He will provide all good things in time.

"I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company."

You've got a caring community here! I'm praying for you .
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Old 10-03-2001, 06:54 PM   #25
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Thanks to everyone who responded here. I really do appreciate it more than you would ever know.

Although I do feel better since I wrote this a couple days ago, I still feel different. As I have read everyone's responses, the consensus seems to be that I need to relax and take time for myself to enjoy the simple pleasures of life--and I agree with that. What gives me despair is that I cannot even do that. I'm so damn swamped with projects, appointments, and ill-timed circumstances with life (i.e., my car tire went flat in the parking lot earlier this week and I still haven't had time that I can get it fixed) that any attempt to escape is impossible.

And I often think of attempts at love. Even if I had a chance at it right now, I don't even know where I'd find time for that special someone. I really just want to fall over and break things right now because I'm so frustrated with college. I'm so frustrated at work. I'm so frustrated at those damn circumstances in life that never seem to go my way. I'm so frustrated that I don't even have time to sleep anymore. I'm falling apart, and I don't even have time to get help. I feel that it is only going to get worse from here. It's only early October, and this semester goes until December. Luckily, I graduate then. Then I can say a fond "fuck off" to the life I'm currently living. Even then, my future doesn't seem very bright for enjoying simple pleasures. I wish the world would end already, so that I wouldn't have to work anymore.

Melon

------------------
"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time
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Old 10-03-2001, 07:03 PM   #26
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I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all your troubles disapear.



Hang in there, Melon!

------------------
Remember the goul.

Shake n' bake
Do whatever it takes
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Old 10-03-2001, 10:11 PM   #27
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melon,
WHY don't you "have time to get help"?? I always thought a full-time college curriculum was an inhumane way to "prepare" somebody for the world--it unnecessarily stresses and depletes eager, capable people. Having said that, if in that same parking lot, say, you slipped and fractured a bone, you'd find time then, wouldn't you? You sound like you have a fractured soul, darlin', maybe a hairline crack that suddenly got worse after 11 Sept... Don't treat your intangible self so carelessly, okay? There's solid ground beneath you, it's only shrouded in fog. I know it. May beauty and light find their way to you today, if only for a moment; may you remember some small joy of your own heart...

If I could, through myself
set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away

Deb D


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Old 10-04-2001, 12:14 AM   #28
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melon -
I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are right now -
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I know I've been feeling a bit off track myself since the events of the last couple of weeks have been going on - nothing specific, just not quite right. A bit down, sad - unable to concentrate or make thing tick along like they usually do. Just take some time to enjoy something simple like a sunset or a good read or a conversation over coffee. I know about busy - I have a full time job and 2 young kids but if you can't take a few minutes for yourself then you're not doing anyone else any good either.

Peace to you, and remember it's just a moment.



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Old 10-04-2001, 02:37 AM   #29
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{{{{melon}}}

feel better ok, guy?

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Old 10-05-2001, 01:37 PM   #30
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Hey Melon,

I don't really know you so I don't know what my advice would be worth to you but when I get overwhelmed with life I think of the words that Jesus said to those who would follow Him,

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:29,30)

I hope that helps you. I don't know what your walk with God is like but I know that these words help me to remember the life more abundant that my savior and best friend promised me.
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