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Old 05-24-2005, 07:41 AM   #106
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Originally posted by 80sU2isBest


By making such a blanket statement, you are doing exactly what you accused me of:

"This is true, but you don't present your views on it as absolutes, which he does."

Martha, you have proven my earlier point, that most people treat their own beliefs as absolute truth, not just me.


how relativist of you.

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Old 05-24-2005, 07:43 AM   #107
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader



Ask yourself this question, if you were to meet a guy and he told you that he viewed porn all the time, would it increase your comfort level about having a relationship with him? What would your reaction be if your daughter's boyfriend made the same comment?
Right on.
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Old 05-24-2005, 07:44 AM   #108
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Originally posted by 80sU2isBest


I don't have sex, and I certainly don't see it as a failure.


not having sex is a failure, what is the failure -- in the eyes of someone who sees sex as something that belongs in marraige ONLY -- is that we are wired to want to have sex, and yet a set of rules tells us not to do the things we were created to do.

one can find value in contoling nature, so to speak, but that's a different argument. what i am saying here is that, taking your view of it, God has pretty much set us up to fail by creating our bodies and sex drives and then telling us not to use them.

i don't agree, but your point of view leads me to this conclusion.
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Old 05-24-2005, 07:45 AM   #109
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Originally posted by the soul waits


Following that logic, would it be fair to conclude that women are not allowed to act on lustful feelings because they don't wake up physically arroused?


no. i think you've misunderstood.

the point is that men and women are hardwired to want to have sex, and that morning wood is simply a very easy, obvious example of this. and this discussion has pretty much centered on men viewing porn, so that's what we've been exploring.
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Old 05-24-2005, 07:50 AM   #110
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511




how relativist of you.



You've got a good memory; I had forgotten those discussions we had.
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Old 05-24-2005, 07:52 AM   #111
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Quote:
Originally posted by the soul waits

I do disagree strongly with you though, Irvine, about your statement that we all need to feel loved, hence feel the need to have sex with someone while we're single. And that the act of having sex is about as close as one can get to feeling loved while being single. Having casual sex, to me, was (and I say "was") like an itch I needed to scratch (no pun intended) , an urge I didn't want to control, didn't feel the need to control, as I saw nothing wrong with casual sex. I never associated it with love, though. I can perfectly separate the two.
I have decided quite a while ago to train myself to be more disciplined (guess that's where my athletic background comes into play) My social life changed drastically as a result and I feel so much more balanced and stronger.


i don't understand -- i've gone through the thread and i don't see where i said any of the above.

i never equte sex with love, but i do think that sex is best with love. i also wonder what a gay person is to do, since certain lines of thought say that you can't have sex until you're married but that gay people can't get married.

but, hey, so long as we're a threat to Rick Santorum's marriage, as he told the NY Times, then i'm happy to be gay.
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Old 05-24-2005, 07:53 AM   #112
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and to all: great thread.

it's all been very respectful, especially considering the delicate nature of this topic and then winding through the mindfields of marraige, relationships, sex, and religion.
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Old 05-24-2005, 07:57 AM   #113
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader


Ask yourself this question, if you were to meet a guy and he told you that he viewed porn all the time, would it increase your comfort level about having a relationship with him? What would your reaction be if your daughter's boyfriend made the same comment?
I pretty much assume that many men look at porn and that many of the ones that don't may actually want to but don't because of moral rules they live by. If someone is literally looking at porn 'all the time' to the point where it interferes with their life, then they are an addict and obviously have some problems. If they look at porn to get off sometimes, I really don't care and it would not affect my decision to date somebody unless they were confessing this as a serious problem that they have. I accept that porn is part of many men's fantasy life.
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Old 05-24-2005, 08:24 AM   #114
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english is not my native language.


Your English is incredible then. I've always wanted to speak any language that well.
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Old 05-24-2005, 08:26 AM   #115
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader

Ask yourself this question, if you were to meet a guy and he told you that he viewed porn all the time, would it increase your comfort level about having a relationship with him? What would your reaction be if your daughter's boyfriend made the same comment?
Any guy that views porn "all the time" has a serious problem. I'm talking about guys that have a reasonable understanding of porn.
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Old 05-24-2005, 08:40 AM   #116
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How much porn watching is too much in people's eyes?

Being an 18 year old with a 1.5meg connection, I dabble here and there.
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Old 05-24-2005, 08:54 AM   #117
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Let's skip the "all the time" part and say "views porn on a somewhat regular basis"
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Old 05-24-2005, 09:01 AM   #118
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
Let's skip the "all the time" part and say "views porn on a somewhat regular basis"
As long as it is not so frequent as to interfere with one's responsibilities and relationships the way that addictions and obsessions do, I don't have a problem with it.
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Old 05-24-2005, 09:33 AM   #119
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Let's say it is your relationship. At what point on the sliding scale do you see a change from acceptable behavior to addiction/obsession?
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Old 05-24-2005, 09:39 AM   #120
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
Let's say it is your relationship. At what point on the sliding scale do you see a change from acceptable behavior to addiction/obsession?
When he can't get off with me without porn, I guess then we have a problem. I'm sure there are other points on the sliding scale that might be problematic as well, too, but basically if it interferes with our sex life, or the time he spends with me, on a regular basis, it's a problem. If he'd rather look at porn while I watch Survivor, who cares.
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