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Old 05-22-2005, 08:57 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest


I'm not married. I am celibate.


yes, but you can get married one day.

i can't.

yet.
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Old 05-22-2005, 08:59 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader


It creates an unrealistic ideal that can interfere with the natural development of a relationship in reality.

If it creates a thought of "why doesn't she look that way" or "why doesn't she do that for me" - it has created a subtle harm.

Now, I'm sure everyone thinks they can fully separate the two, but if you look at the factors that lead to relationships breaking up, porn is near the top of the list.


porn breaks up marriages? i'm very skeptical ... are there sources you can cite?

as for the unrealistic expectations ... i agree, but can't we say this about all of popular culture? i'm in my late 20's, and my life isn't nearly as fun, funny, beautiful, and monied as those people on "friends." i live in DC, but my life isn't like West Wing. i'm gay, but i don't look nearly as good and have nearly as much fun as the dudes on Queer as Folk. why is this any different from the unrealistic standard created by pornography? isn't this up for adults to decide?
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Old 05-22-2005, 09:02 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by martha


I think if porn weren't available, something else would break up those relationships. Unrealistic men can always find something to blame.
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Old 05-22-2005, 09:10 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by verte76


I guess not. I don't work with the patrons who use the Internet. My duties at the library are mainly cleaning the shelves and making sure sure the books are in Dewey Decimal order, this is why we ask that patrons not re-shelve the books! Sometimes the shelves are so out of order it's really hard getting them back in order. I do know that there's a list of rules at the computer station and "No Pornography" is one of them.
Not to take focus off the topic here but verte, I had that job (except I didn't get paid except in school credits) but all I remember from that traumatic experience was a horrible papercut I got from pulling a Vogue magazine out of its plastic bag.
I hope you never got any papercuts from those books.
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Old 05-22-2005, 09:58 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest


I'm not married. I am celibate.
Goody for you. But I'm sure you don't mean to imply that everyone must live as you see fit, as you surely don't want to be forced to live by my rules, for instance.
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Old 05-22-2005, 11:47 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511




yes, but you can get married one day.

i can't.

yet.
you can marry a woman

and not have sex
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Old 05-23-2005, 01:12 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally posted by deep


you can marry a woman

and not have sex


But why bother with the hassle
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Old 05-23-2005, 01:19 AM   #38
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you know what else is dangerous?

chick flicks

I mean, when I was growing up, sort of an awkward teen, I would watch chick flicks and they would always have these "boy meets girl, fall's in love, gets married, has kids, and lives life happily ever after"

so when I found out the load of bullshit it was, I guess this what I can blame my drinking on. Stupid Flanders....I mean chick flicks.

and fairy tales, damn fairy tales set us up to have ridiculous expectations when we are kids and find out that it's a let down!!!

dangerous stuff people! dangerous!!
chick flicks, fairy tales and porn!!!!!!

stupid people and their imaginations!
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Old 05-23-2005, 06:02 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonlit_Angel


Again, though, that's not the porn's fault. They're just putting a particular image out there. It's still up to us as individuals as to whether or not we want to look like that, or want others to look like that. Don't blame the porn for some people's attitudes, which they most likely would have had long before they saw a porn image.
Is this like the guns to kill people, people kill people philosophy?
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Old 05-23-2005, 06:40 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally posted by indra


Goody for you. But I'm sure you don't mean to imply that everyone must live as you see fit, as you surely don't want to be forced to live by my rules, for instance.
I'm not even going to answer this one for you. Read the post I was responding to, then read mine, and you will see that wasn't what I was saying at all.

By the way, you're talking to me now? How convenient that you weren't talking to me a few days ago when you owed me a big apology.
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Old 05-23-2005, 06:40 AM   #41
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^ are you comparing watching porn to killing people?
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Old 05-23-2005, 06:47 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511




yes, but you can get married one day.

i can't.

yet.
If no one will marry me, I can't. I'm 37 years old. Chances are that if I'm not married yet, I won't be.

Anyway, the reason I wrote that I'm single and celibate is that I was answering your question: what do gay people and people who can't find someone to marry do, stay celibate all their lives?

The whole point of my answer is that sex is not a necessity in life, despite what many people seem to think.
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Old 05-23-2005, 06:56 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
porn breaks up marriages? i'm very skeptical ... are there sources you can cite?
I can certainly tell you about a situation I know of personally that involved porn in a marraige.

My closest friend was married to this guy. She found Playboy in his top drawer. It made her seriously doubt her own beauty (although she is beautiful), as if she wasn't good enough for him. It depressed her, and I mean seriously depressed her.

There is no reason to look at Playboy if you are in love with the woman you married. It is an afront to your spouse.
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Old 05-23-2005, 07:36 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest


If no one will marry me, I can't. I'm 37 years old. Chances are that if I'm not married yet, I won't be.

Anyway, the reason I wrote that I'm single and celibate is that I was answering your question: what do gay people and people who can't find someone to marry do, stay celibate all their lives?

The whole point of my answer is that sex is not a necessity in life, despite what many people seem to think.


isn't love a necessity? isn't sex, at it's best, the physical expression of romantic love?

i would also say that while you don't need sex to survive, most of us want to have sex, crave sex, dream about sex -- to me, it seems like a part of being human.

also, you have a much, much better chance of getting married in Texas than a gay person getting married in Texas. no one is legally preventing you from getting married. if circumstance doesn't work out that way, so be it, but it remains available to you as a citizen. not for gay people.
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Old 05-23-2005, 07:37 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by 80sU2isBest


I can certainly tell you about a situation I know of personally that involved porn in a marraige.

My closest friend was married to this guy. She found Playboy in his top drawer. It made her seriously doubt her own beauty (although she is beautiful), as if she wasn't good enough for him. It depressed her, and I mean seriously depressed her.

There is no reason to look at Playboy if you are in love with the woman you married. It is an afront to your spouse.


i'm willing to bet this woman has issues that run deeper than the existence of a Playboy.
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