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Old 11-14-2002, 01:14 AM   #31
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just opinions and nice talking here please.

Remember how FYM doesn't need personal attacks in it? Let's stay with the issue, not call people names on behalf of ourselves or anyone else.
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Old 11-14-2002, 02:06 AM   #32
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My best friend was gay, and he would have made a great father if he wanted to have kids in the future, and if he was still alive. God, I miss him...

I would rather see a child happy, physically and emotionally healthy with 2 men or 2 women who are great parents, than for some poor kid who ends up with a so-called "mom and pop family" who end up screwing up the child's life.
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Old 11-14-2002, 03:29 AM   #33
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Guess I'll just repeat the majority opinion here. But I honestly dont know if ALL homosexual couples should be able to adopt. If they meet the requirements all couples must meet, good, and yes, let them adopt. Lets stop discriminating on gender and sexual preference. Lets also stop generalising that a heterosexual relationship is the best foundation for a happy healthy home environment. We all know it isn't always the case. Someone did raise a good point, apologies for forgetting who that was, that ideally children do require a role model of each gender. I dont think that should be grounds for denying a homosexual couple the right to raise a child of their own. Any potential parent who is aware and intelligent will realise this is rather necessary and hopefully will endevour to introduce such role models in their child's life. Like single parents who may seek to find a good substitute for the missing parent figure, be it in a brother, cousin, aunt, neighbour whatever.

The unfortunate truth for many homosexual couples is they face first of all the hurdle of mother nature and unless they can find a willing 'helper' they really dont have a lot of choice with opportunities to parent a child. I dont like that our society feels we can decide for another whether they can become parents. Parenting is a wonderful blessing and who are we really to deny that to someone as it may go against "our" ideals? What do we know about another couple, regardless of their gender and sexual preference, in regards to raising a family? Its a huge call to name someone as unfit....after all, in who's eyes?
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Old 11-14-2002, 05:11 AM   #34
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First of all, I have many gay friends... I am not unwilling to associate with homosexuals and do not dismiss homosexual adoption because I think it is "disgusting".

Having said that, I do not think that homosexual couples should be able to adopt. This issue is above all dealing with a child's welfare, yet I think it is primarily looked at as a gay right's issue. Children need both a mom and a dad in order to directly experience a number of important relationships which support social devlopment such as husband/wife and mother/father. Not to mention children of homosexual couples are likely to be confused about their own sexual identity. The child's parental figures would be in direct conflict with the predominantly heterosexual world around them, and everyone should agree that a person is greatly influenced by the structure within a person's home. This would create great confusion and instability at the very least.

The natural family is a beautiful thing, but for the sake of being "politically correct" homosexual coupling is seemingly being encouraged in some schools. It happened recently where students were asked to wear ribbons to support homosexual adoption. You probably wouldn't find homosexuals eager to support the heterosexual arrangement, yet this support is being shown vice/versa and you have to wonder why ... the final thing I will say on the matter is that this fear of being "politically incorrect" has, in my opinion, caused too much tolerance in regard to the family institution. I have my own religious reasons aside from these as well, but I realize that they are not received by everyone therefore I see no reason to share them as it is late and I am tired.
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Old 11-14-2002, 07:09 AM   #35
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Okay don't flame me, this is only my opinion, I'm not simple or closed minded.

I don't hate homosexuals, but I strongly disagree with their choice of lifestyle. I believe they make life very difficult for themselves, because society and the world can be very unforgiving and evil.

And to me, the idea of a homosexual couple raising a child will most probably influence the child and effect him/her in a way that he/she will grow to be a homosexual him/herself. I don't like this idea beause of the consequences and risks that homosexuals face throughout life (predjudice from society, aids, std's etc). And I don't stereotype homosexuals by believing that they all have promiscuous sex, there are just as many heterosexual people that are just as guilty of this too.

But in terms of having parents, I believe only a mother can offer true nurturing, care and love when a child is at a young age, and where a father can teach discipline and how to survive in the world. Like I'm not being sexist and talking specifically about private and public spheres where one gender cannot take on the role of another, I just believe that mothers are naturally better at their role and fathers are naturally better at theirs.

When you have two people of the same sex raising a young child, the child is missing out on one vital aspect of growing up from an infant into a teenager. Like I don't see a problem with a fully matured teenager living with a homosexual couple having come from a heterosexual background, but when the child is young and an infant I consider it WRONG and very IMMORAL for them to be raised in a homosexual environment because it most probably will have an effect on them where they will develop believing that homosexuality is normal and acceptable by everyone in society.

Yeah anyway I sound like a critical sociologist or something now, so yeah that was only my opinion, many of you will disagree with me. I don't prejudice or display hatred against homosexuals, I just disagree and don't approve their lifestyle. I think it's very sad.
Although I know Bono would greatly disagree with me.

*no offense to any homosexual people reading this*
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Old 11-14-2002, 08:43 AM   #36
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Okay, I don't agree with the last two posts, here's why:

If people who find out they're gay come from homes with heterosexual parents, obviously their parents' sexual preference had no influence on them, so what makes people think that that will happen with the opposite-what makes people think that just because a child grows up with homosexual parents that they are more likely to become gay (especially when there has been evidence that you are born with your sexual preference and that it isn't something you just become one day)?

I think a child can grow up in a homosexual household and still have a firm grasp on their sexual preferences, just as a child can grow up in a heterosexual household and have a firm grasp on their sexual preferences. It can happen.

And as for the last post, what's so wrong or immoral about a child learning from the time they are a baby that homosexuality is perfectly normal and acceptable?

I don't see why people disagree with homosexuals' lifestyle. I've always considered homosexuality to be completely normal and moral in my book.

Angela
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Old 11-14-2002, 09:30 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally posted by pr0digy

I don't hate homosexuals, but I strongly disagree with their choice of lifestyle. I believe they make life very difficult for themselves, because society and the world can be very unforgiving and evil.

And to me, the idea of a homosexual couple raising a child will most probably influence the child and effect him/her in a way that he/she will grow to be a homosexual him/herself.

the child is young and an infant I consider it WRONG and very IMMORAL for them to be raised in a homosexual environment because it most probably will have an effect on them where they will develop believing that homosexuality is normal and acceptable by everyone in society.

First paragraph: Society and the world making it difficult is people like YOU. So there goes that argument.

Second paragraph: Is there any credible research supporting your position? Or do you just wish that were true?

Third paragraph: Why is this a problem for you? Why is raising a child to be understanding and tolerant such a threat to you?
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Old 11-14-2002, 09:36 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonlit_Angel

If people who find out they're gay come from homes with heterosexual parents, obviously their parents' sexual preference had no influence on them, so what makes people think that that will happen with the opposite-what makes people think that just because a child grows up with homosexual parents that they are more likely to become gay......
I agree with this point and think it is a good one.
Quote:
I think a child can grow up in a homosexual household and still have a firm grasp on their sexual preferences
Isn't that is what cable is for anyway. kidding kidding


I am sure you can tell by now judging by my responses that my opinion is yes.
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Old 11-14-2002, 10:22 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by martha


First paragraph: Society and the world making it difficult is people like YOU. So there goes that argument.

Second paragraph: Is there any credible research supporting your position? Or do you just wish that were true?

Third paragraph: Why is this a problem for you? Why is raising a child to be understanding and tolerant such a threat to you?
it's called an opinion, look it up
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Old 11-14-2002, 11:15 AM   #40
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I don't have any studies to back up my statement here so I can only go on my own personal experience...being raised by a gay couple does not mean their kids will be gay.

I know 3 people who were raised by gay couples and all 3 are heterosexual, married and raising their own children. On the other hand, the majority of the 20 - 25 gay and lesbians friends and family members I know were raised by the traditional male/female parents.

I agree that a child needs a role model from both sexes and most of the gay couples I know who are raising kids make sure their kids have someone of the opposite sex to bond with.

I do agree that male/female is the ideal parenting situation but this is not an ideal world and there are too many kids sitting in foster care or being raised by people who shouldn't own a pet, let alone care for a child. If there are qualified people who just happen to be gay and want a child, why not give them a chance?
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Old 11-14-2002, 11:19 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar

But one thing that gay couples don't automatically provide that needs to be considered, and this also goes for these celebrities that are adopting as single mothers like Rosie, Ally McBeal, etc. is a close role model of each sex for the child.

Every child regardless if they're a boy or girl needs a CONSISTENT male and female role in their life.

If not men can grow up to not respect females in their life, or women could grow up to not trust or hate the males in their life etc.

(Not to personally attack you BonoVoxSupastar, but I think there are inconsistencies in what you said above.)


As far as a close rold model of each sex... Straight parents may have majorly flawed expressions of their sex. For instance, there are marriages where the father is overly aggressive and the mother insecure- isn't that an imbalance being taught?

Consistent male & female role in their life... but what if it's consistently wrong? (An absuive - but straight!- father or an alcoholic -but straight!- mother. ) Since we can't monitor this for straight parents what makes us think we can monitor it for gay parents? (although I do wish we COULD monitor it for some parents! Ugh!)

I know many men who do not respect females, and they were raised by straight parents. Likewise I know many females who don't trust men, and they too were raised by straight parents. Obviously having the "proper gender influences" on them didn't raise them ideally.

Parenting is an incredibly serious job, I wish more people treated it as such. If a gay couple is willing to take a child into their home and love him or her then I wish them peace and total enjoyment from their child.

Perhaps they'd even be better parents than say, some who accidentally get pregnant, because they have time to talk and think about what it seriously means to have a child and raise a child.

And I agree with what Gina said.
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Old 11-14-2002, 12:20 PM   #42
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I don't care to go beyond what bonosloveslave has said on this topic.

Anyone wishing to condemn homosexuality on a moral basis (as a sin in God's eyes) must deal with all other forms of sinful behavior. We would never think to ban adoption by heterosexual couples where one or both adults engage in adulterous activity. God doesn't rank sin (possible exception for apostacy).
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Old 11-14-2002, 12:29 PM   #43
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A very close friend of mine was raised by his Lesbian mother and her girlfriend. He grew up in all all female house with four sisters.
One might argue that this constant exposure to estrogen may have 'confused' him about his own sexual identity. It may have made him unable to forge male bonds, or heck, it may have actually made him gay.

...
Well, unfortunatly for those that would argue the above, he is completely, 100% normal and happy. He has good guy friends, good girlfriends. He is not confused about his sexual identity (as I believe sexual orientation isn't learned - it's born into you). He is able to forge friendships with both sexes.

Just because a child doesn't have a father doesn't mean that he will be unable to act like a 'man.' Similarly, just because a child doesn't have a mother does not mean that she will grow up 'butch.'

I do believe that children raised by same sex couples grow up with a better understanding of the world, and if anything, are more likely to be accepting of people and their differences.

This does not mean that ALL homosexuals will make good families. In the same way, it does not mean that ALL heterosexuals will make good families. It is a case by case basis, dependent solely upon the people involved. IT is poor logic to say that just because these people are 'gay', they will make better/worse parents than these 'straight' people. Everyone is different.


If ANY couple can provide a loving, stable environment for the children, I see no reason why not.
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Old 11-14-2002, 01:11 PM   #44
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So many eloquently stated ideas here, there isn't much for me to add...except to say that yes, I do think that gay couples should be able to adopt, and should be put through the same screening process as straight couples adopting. I also agree it's important to have strong role models from the opposite sex around too.

I would think with young children, it doesn't even occur to them to get confused about their sexuality. They don't even know what sexuality is (for the most part) anyway. I mean just for an example, there was this whole thing about how children would think Ernie and Bert were gay because they lived together (or that thing about the teletubby with the purse)....but when I was young, I simply thought here are Ernie and Bert and they live together. End of story. By the time kids are mature enough to think about that, they will have been exposed to enough hetero couples to see the other perspective anyway.

If anything, I would think children of gay couples would be more accepting and tolerant people in general, and that can only be a good thing.

I also can't believe people still think that being gay is a "choice of lifestyle". I don't think there is any choice in the matter, just as straight people can't choose their sexuality. Who on earth would CHOOSE to go through life facing all that intolerance??
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Old 11-14-2002, 01:22 PM   #45
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I see absolutely no difference between allowing a man and a woman to adopt a child and allowing two men or two women to adopt. Surely the only thing that matters is that the child will grow up in an environment where they'll be loved and cared for. And last time I checked, sexuality didn't determine whether someone had the capacity to love another person or not.

For the few people who've talked about being lesbian, gay or bisexual as a "choice", I just want to ask you - when did you make the choice to be heterosexual? Did you sit down one day and decide on your sexuality? Did you read a book and decide that it sounded like the best way to be? Or was it just that you instinctively liked people of the opposite sex? So it wasn't really a choice at all.

And if it's suggested that growing up without a male or female role model is detrimental to a child, then what about children growing up in single parent families? Is that "wrong" too?
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