Shocked by body image confessions - Page 5 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind > Free Your Mind Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 10-18-2006, 08:50 AM   #61
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
maycocksean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Most Important State in the Union
Posts: 4,882
Local Time: 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic


But then I wonder why women spend so much time, money, and energy obsessing over it. Do we really care that much about how sexually desirable we are to guys?

That's a really good question. I'm not sure I really know the answer.

Perhaps, it's because in our still largely male dominated world, men are still "setting the agenda" so to speak about "what's important?" Men say that sexual desirability is all important, and there for it is?

I don't know.
__________________

__________________
maycocksean is offline  
Old 10-18-2006, 09:14 AM   #62
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
trevster2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,330
Local Time: 07:45 AM
Regarding why "beautiful" people like your friends still have poor self image. Just because others tell you you are pretty, doesn't mean you think you are pretty.

Self-confidence and self-esteem doesn't come from the outside, it comes from the inside. These attributes of a person are developed over the early years of person's existence. There are many people out there who are " beautiful" adults but were not "beautiful" children and constantly demeaned and ridiculed by others. This kind of stuff sticks with people. Also, poor parenting and possible mental abuse could affect a person's self-image. Early relationship experiences involving abuse or demeaning comments could affect a person's expectations of themselves. Of course, these perceptions change for some as they become adults but for many people, it is their world view of themselves.

There is no one reason for a person's self=perception. If we knew the answer, the world would we be a happier place.
__________________

__________________
trevster2k is offline  
Old 10-18-2006, 09:15 AM   #63
Forum Moderator
 
yolland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 7,471
Local Time: 12:15 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
But then I wonder why women spend so much time, money, and energy obsessing over it. Do we really care that much about how sexually desirable we are to guys?
Well, not to be obtuse, but wanting to be desirable to the opposite sex (in straight folks' case anyway) is pretty much built into our genes, isn't it? It's more what defines "desirability" that creates the problem.
__________________
yolland [at] interference.com


μελετώ αποτυγχάνειν. -- Διογένης της Σινώπης
yolland is offline  
Old 10-18-2006, 09:16 AM   #64
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 09:15 PM
Re: Shocked by body image confessions

Quote:
Originally posted by dazzlingamy




Why does this happen? What is in this world that causes people to get so down on themselves, to the point where they want to die, and these are not even people who have clinical depression, or problems within their lives to get to this point?

Is it magazines? celebrities? Is it all women and i'm just not normal for feeling like this? Is it just women, or do men feel this way as well?
Is it just western women?

I just feel so sad, that such wonderful, sweet and gorgeous women can have such low selfesteem and feel so utterly despondant about themselves.
I think it's a mixture of alcohol related babble and frustration...i would'nt worry about it too much...the things we say when we are loaded! *shakes head*

Your friends probably went to alot of effort to look their best and when some of them felt they were not getting noticed they started doubting themselves......am i this...am i that! It's sounds like the night was cut short too.

The reason why you don't feel the way they do...is because you have a BF/Partner......I'm sure if you were single and under the influence you would be carrying on too! *Shit,you shoulda heard me when my hubby was away for the Bathurst weekend...and i got stuck into the whisky*

Your friends need to pick themselves up,dust themselves off and hit the clubs again.......and have a great time!
__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 10-18-2006, 12:40 PM   #65
Blue Crack Supplier
 
Irvine511's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 30,499
Local Time: 06:15 AM
Re: Re: Shocked by body image confessions

Quote:
Originally posted by fly so high!


I think it's a mixture of alcohol related babble and frustration...i would'nt worry about it too much...the things we say when we are loaded! *shakes head*


you know, this might be a very astute point.

when we're drunk, emotions get magnified -- 95% of the time i'm the happiest drunk ever, want to hug people, call them up and tell them that i love them, and give the whole world a big kiss. but if something goes wrong that night, or if it's just a bad spot we happen to be in at that particular point in time, then it's all you can focus on, and problems that are small when sober are magnified to epic, all-consuming proportions.

if someone went out with the purpose of getting a number, or a future date, or a hook-up, and failed, well, in an emotionally intensified state, what's going to happen? we're going to blame ourselves and beat ourselves up, which is something that generally successful, well put together people do. that's how they've gotten to where they are -- relentless self-criticism, usually followed up by a strengthened resolve to work towards self-improvement.
__________________
Irvine511 is offline  
Old 10-18-2006, 11:37 PM   #66
Refugee
 
dazzlingamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The city of blinding lights and amazing coffee - Melbourne.
Posts: 2,468
Local Time: 10:15 PM
Mmm, i agree with this on other occasions, but we wern't drunk and STILL (allah kill me!) 5 days later i'm listening to 2 of them go on and on about stuff, and honestly i'm starting to lose my patience, cause no matter what i bloody say, they just can't see and are stuck in this mind frame of despair :/
__________________
dazzlingamy is offline  
Old 10-19-2006, 12:22 AM   #67
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by dazzlingamy
Mmm, i agree with this on other occasions, but we wern't drunk and STILL (allah kill me!) 5 days later i'm listening to 2 of them go on and on about stuff, and honestly i'm starting to lose my patience, cause no matter what i bloody say, they just can't see and are stuck in this mind frame of despair :/
I hope this is not the case w/ your friends, but I had one friend in particular who was always doing this, saying how "fat" she was, etc. She had really low self-confidence even though she was pretty and had a great body. It wasn't really her body she was worried about though, she would just say that so everyone would go "oh...but you're so cute! you're not fat!" She needed constant reassurance and feedback because of low self-esteem in general, not necessarily a bad self-image. She used her body as a way to have people constantly build her up, and it got VERY annoying VERY fast.
__________________
Liesje is offline  
Old 10-19-2006, 02:04 AM   #68
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
redhotswami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Waiting for this madness to end.
Posts: 5,846
Local Time: 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by LivLuvAndBootlegMusic
She used her body as a way to have people constantly build her up, and it got VERY annoying VERY fast.
OMG!!!! I had a friend like that. The only way I got her to stop was to make ridiculous comments, like almost "agreeing" with her but in an obviously joking way.

Eventually she saw what I was doing, and she cut it out. That took some time though. We were cool after that.
__________________
redhotswami is offline  
Old 10-19-2006, 07:44 AM   #69
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 09:15 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by dazzlingamy
Mmm, i agree with this on other occasions, but we wern't drunk and STILL (allah kill me!) 5 days later i'm listening to 2 of them go on and on about stuff, and honestly i'm starting to lose my patience, cause no matter what i bloody say, they just can't see and are stuck in this mind frame of despair :/
They would'nt have to be absolutely blind...... only a few drinks is needed to get them off their chops!

But truly...is it out of character for them to be carrying on like this?...if so there might be other issues brewing.....but if this is how they deal with this stuff often...maybe you are just over it.....it would bug the hell out of me too....maybe you need to do a friend "cull"
__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 10-19-2006, 09:50 PM   #70
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
trevster2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,330
Local Time: 07:45 AM
The Evolution of Beauty

Retouching
__________________
trevster2k is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 12:05 AM   #71
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
Kristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: back home again in Indiana
Posts: 6,386
Local Time: 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by dazzlingamy
it just makes me wonder, that someone like me, who is seen to be "imprefect" in the beautiful standards, can be happy, and someone who ticks all the boxes can feel such self doubt and hatred.

Why is this?
in my experience it's because, as this thread title suggests, they have a distorted self-image. When I was younger, I lworked really hard and lost 60lbs and became very thin (5'6" and 115lbs), yet while I was skinny I still always saw myself as being fat. I constantly worried about how big my thighs looked in these jeans, or whether this shirt covered up my hips well enough, things like that. Now that I'm a far cry from 115 again, I look at pictures from those days and wonder why I wasn't running around in a bikini 24/7.

There are a lot of people who used to be unattractive and have since overcome it, but are stuck in that mindset. Other people have little "flaws" that you don't notice or think nothing of, but they get fixated on it. You'd think they'd look in the mirror and be happy with what they see, but they just don't see what you see when you look at them.

...or maybe they're fishing for compliments
__________________
Kristie is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 04:16 AM   #72
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
maycocksean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Most Important State in the Union
Posts: 4,882
Local Time: 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by trevster2k
The Evolution of Beauty

Retouching
I find that most of these retouched and glammed up examples of "beauty" remove all the personality from the model, and that's more than half of what makes a woman sexy IMHO.
__________________
maycocksean is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 10:03 AM   #73
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,998
Local Time: 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by maycocksean

I find that most of these retouched and glammed up examples of "beauty" remove all the personality from the model, and that's more than half of what makes a woman sexy IMHO.
How many men really feel that way, and if they do why don't they openly express it?

After all, they're not buying Playboy for the personalities
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 01:54 PM   #74
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
lmjhitman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: tbtf
Posts: 4,317
Local Time: 05:15 AM
we even have our very own thread here, in its fourth incarnation, no less.

i'll echo what mrs. s said, i'm sure people aren't posting pics of girls with great personalities in that thread either.

is there pressure on guys to be attracted to the "right" looking girl? the fact is that the population of "hot chicks" doesn't include a lot of diversity in terms of size, shape and colour. it's not surprising that many, if not most women feel excluded from this so-called definition of attractiveness.
__________________
lmjhitman is offline  
Old 10-20-2006, 01:58 PM   #75
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
trevster2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,330
Local Time: 07:45 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen


How many men really feel that way, and if they do why don't they openly express it?

After all, they're not buying Playboy for the personalities
A lot of my friends agree with me about the amount of makeup worn by a woman. A little makeup is ok but when it's caked on it's just not attractive. The raccoon MAXIM, FHM or Stuff look is not attractive or the leg sheen they appear to have. C'mon, it's just so fake looking.

Don't forget most women's magazines portray women in an unrealistic image moreso then men's magazines. It's not just Playboy. I also think some women are more worried about impressing other women than men sometimes.
__________________

__________________
trevster2k is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com