Say it isn't so - Page 2 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind > Free Your Mind Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 03-23-2005, 07:49 AM   #16
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
Macfistowannabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,129
Local Time: 11:19 AM
Melon, if you feel it is necessary to get something off your chest, feel free to send me a private message.
__________________

__________________
Macfistowannabe is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:05 AM   #17
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Song of the week "sentimental" by Porcupine Tree
Posts: 3,854
Local Time: 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by melon

Maybe this kid figured it out early. Life isn't worth it, and unless your a straight WASP, God hates you too.

Maybe I should kill myself too and do God a favor. After all, He was too stupid to get His creation right the first time.

I'm not going to kill myself, because I'm scared of death as much as I hate life.

Melon
Melon, life is for bastards ...and so be a little bastard...and everything will be OK.

Job is not something worth a big deal.. I had 2 good jobs in my final year of college in 1999.. I have had job offers from american company..which I didnt accept.. My jobs involves tour of Europe every year for the last five years...Its good....but when you will get a good job...you will certainly feel happy...but after few days when you will be over it..you will realise that although Job is necessary .

.but its not a big deal...if you dont have it.

All I can say is " keep trying" and hope for the best....if the best doesnt happen now...say FUCK OFF ...and then try again....

and if you see it from Survival of fittest point of view - guys who were too sensitive or too weak minded and committed suicide early...and the generation of such people dont exist....


__________________

__________________
AcrobatMan is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:18 AM   #18
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,983
Local Time: 10:19 AM

You know that's not true Melon, God DOES NOT feel that way about you. I'd say he must be damn proud to have created someone like you.

What other people say can't destroy you-I've never lived in your shoes but I've had some experience w/ intolerance, hatred, and emotional pain. I wouldn't ever pretend to know what it's like for you but I think I understand a bit.

I wish all the best for you, please hang in there.
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is online now  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:18 AM   #19
ONE
love, blood, life
 
melon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 11,781
Local Time: 10:19 AM
It IS a big deal. I am TIRED of sitting at home. I am BROKE. I have $53,000 worth of student loan debt. I can't afford to leave the house very often, because my parents are as broke as I am.

I am literally getting to the point that I am so angry that I'm running out of words. Sure, it's such a "great compliment" when you're told that you were the "perfect candidate," but they had to go with the "internal candidate" instead, what the fuck am I supposed to do anymore? Getting a job is like winning the lottery these days, rather than actually having "talent." God forbid.

God fucking forbid. I shouldn't get myself started on religion, because I don't have one good word to say for it anymore. I hope conservative Christianity is satisfied, because I blame them for me developing my utter hatred of religion. You wanted your "monopoly" on religious faith, well guess what? You reap what you sow. I find no comfort at all in God or the idea of God. Instead, I just end up angry. Angry that I wasted my time with 12 years of Catholic education, only to realize you've grown up in a religion that doesn't want you, unless you deny yourself or change. Well, you know what, you goddamn Poop? I deny you. I reject you. I wish I had never even known you existed, you old dying bigot. My parents may still be able to take some comfort in Catholicism, but hey...they aren't hated merely for loving someone of the same-sex.

I feel like an utter fool for still praying after all these years. And to what? So I can get ignored? I've had it. Life isn't worth the energy. Life isn't worth the time. Life isn't worth the effort. If you're different in any form or fashion, you will be rejected, folks. And then you'll grow up to be as bitter as I.

Melon
__________________
melon is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:22 AM   #20
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
Macfistowannabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,129
Local Time: 11:19 AM
All the best, Mel.
__________________
Macfistowannabe is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:25 AM   #21
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,983
Local Time: 10:19 AM
I'm not going to try to "talk you out" of anything you've said, that isn't my right, and you have the right to vent all you want and feel the way you do.

Trust me, I'm "different" not in the way(s) you might be talking about..I've felt rejection from so many people in my life but never from God. I might have thought it was rejection, but I came to learn that it wasn't. Sure I've had, and have, questions and doubts, and anger. I'm bitter too, but I get tired of that affecting me in destructive ways.

I hope you can talk to someone you love and trust about how you're feeling.
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is online now  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:44 AM   #22
Blue Crack Addict
 
joyfulgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 16,615
Local Time: 08:19 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by melon
I was a smart child (although I can never compare to the apparent genius of this kid), but for all the intellectual praise I received, I was very depressed over feeling "aloof" and "different" from everyone else. I would have given up my intellect anyday to feel as if I could relate with the world around me. As I've gotten older, those feelings have somewhat subsided, although I'd be lying if I didn't say I still felt "aloof."

It's possible, maybe, that he felt the same way, but amplified. I feel sorry for him, really. Sometimes you just can't escape your own nature. I just wish, if that was the case, he could have found an equal somehow. Somewhere.

Melon
I am also always described as 'aloof,' though not because I'm brilliant. I just am apparently aloof. Different. I was always the pretty girl people were scared to talk to or ask out so I end up alone a lot. Even though I walk around smiling at people and have no trouble with eye contact, and I think I'm quite friendly, I'm still perceived as "unapproachable." It fries my mind. Mostly I don't get why aloof is considered to be so bad, actually. I see myself as self-possessed and independent; others see it as aloof. I guess it's okay to be pretty and insecure but pretty and self-possessed are not allowed. I don't necessarily want to 'fit in' I guess. I'm different and I have a small group of quite extraordinary friends and if the masses don't get me, they don't get me--most of the time I don't care. The other day I was told that after 6 years of working here our president thinks I do really go work but he doesn't 'get me'. This is the kind of thing that could cost me my job someday because it's important to fit in here but I'm never going to fit in so I can't help it. All I can do is excellent work and go about my life.

melon, I really do feel your pain. I can relate in a lot of ways. I'm grateful to be employed but I have other problems assailing me at the moment and sometimes it feels very overwhelming.

__________________
joyfulgirl is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:47 AM   #23
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Song of the week "sentimental" by Porcupine Tree
Posts: 3,854
Local Time: 03:19 PM
Sad to know about your debt

Prayers dont help..Just a grand waste of time.

Religions dont help. It blackmails your pyschological weakness.

Cant you start with a small job with lesser money... even when you are intellectually far more superior for your job.

Start with $20000 per annum job..somehow...even when you deserve or your education entitles you $200,000 per annum. No work is big or small...start from whereever.. I dont know the situation in USA...but if you were here (Do a computer course, get a job)...you would have easily got a job - that too a good one.

Money has never been or will never be motivation for me.
__________________
AcrobatMan is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 08:49 AM   #24
ONE
love, blood, life
 
melon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 11,781
Local Time: 10:19 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by AcrobatMan
Start with $20000 per annum job..somehow...
In Bush Country, that's a small fortune. Try a number smaller than that.

Melon
__________________
melon is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 09:02 AM   #25
Blue Crack Addict
 
joyfulgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 16,615
Local Time: 08:19 AM
What about Korea? Is that still an option?
__________________
joyfulgirl is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 09:16 AM   #26
Blue Crack Addict
 
verte76's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: hoping for changes
Posts: 23,331
Local Time: 03:19 PM
This is so sad.
__________________
verte76 is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 09:19 AM   #27
pax
ONE
love, blood, life
 
pax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ewen's new American home
Posts: 11,412
Local Time: 11:19 AM
It's very, very difficult to find skilled, permanent, full-time employment as a liberal arts grad, and (I imagine) harder with a master's degree or some grad credits under your belt. I started looking in October of 2003 and just started my editorial job last month, so that tells you something about the job market. I'm very pleased to have gotten the job that I did.

Melon, keep the faith; someone like you will eventually find something. Believe me, I know how useless this sounds, because everyone told me the same thing, but you are far too smart and gifted to stay as you are forever. I'm praying for you and I hope you find relief from your employment and financial troubles soon.
__________________
and you hunger for the time
time to heal, desire, time


Join Amnesty.
pax is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 09:24 AM   #28
Refugee
 
BostonAnne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 2,052
Local Time: 11:19 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by pax
Melon, keep the faith; someone like you will eventually find something. Believe me, I know how useless this sounds, because everyone told me the same thing, but you are far too smart and gifted to stay as you are forever. I'm praying for you and I hope you find relief from your employment and financial troubles soon.


I'm curious, does your college have an outplacement service for graduating students?
__________________
BostonAnne is offline  
Old 03-23-2005, 11:32 PM   #29
ONE
love, blood, life
 
melon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 11,781
Local Time: 10:19 AM


I'm feeling better. Talk about a wild mood swing there. It's one thing for me to be cynical. It's another thing for my cynicism to be constantly proven right. And, no, it isn't a "self-fulfilling prophesy"; I just predicted accurately that the "internal candidate," of course, would get hired. And it infuriated me. I'm genuinely infuriated and angry over everything.

I ended up taking all the vitamins I owned--sometimes doubling the doses--a hefty protein shake mixture, and Tylenol just to calm down.

Anyway, getting back to the original topic of this thread and its most immediate off-shoot, I don't know why self-identified "intelligent" people are often more depressed than others. Most of my "smart" friends in Boston were on SSRIs. I won't touch those drugs, because I know how destructive they are. Well, I tried one for three days out of desperation. My adrenal glands became quickly exhausted and I had to stop taking them. They are stimulants, after all. I'm more interested in calming down!

I greatly sympathize with this child prodigy, if he felt even a fraction of what I've been feeling for years. It's both a blessing and a curse to be different, because, sometimes, the desire for understanding can just be overpowering.

For those who are fortunate enough to have gifted children, I'll give you this advice. Foster their gift and be encouraging, without being pushy. But try and give them an avenue for a social life. They need it, and they'll crave it, but since they're the "smart" kid, they may feel it's necessary to be "stoic." After all, "intellect" has almost become synonymous with "unemotional."

More than once, I wish things could have been different for me. I guess, though, there's no such thing as "going back."

I guess it's time for me to revert to my usual "distant" melon persona.

Melon
__________________
melon is offline  
Old 03-24-2005, 05:11 AM   #30
Rock n' Roll Doggie
FOB
 
Kieran McConville's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Auto Dafoe
Posts: 9,600
Local Time: 01:19 AM
Wrong place and time probably, but Melon, maybe being your own boss would be a stop-gap solution? Building websites for people, for instance? It might at least get a little cash flowing in.

I am not in your league (or your country) but I long ago side-stepped the conventional get-a-job path because (like you) nobody would give me a job. It's interesting that they don't ask for a resume when you walk in the door posing as a business, instead of seeking a 'job'.

But, different country, different circumstances. It's a rocky road either way.
__________________

__________________
Kieran McConville is online now  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:19 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com