i think freudian psychoanalysis is a waste of time. i think it might be helpful for straight, white, jewish men with money who lived in Vienna before World War 2, but that's about it.
however, talk therapy can be quite beneficial. i'm not at all embarassed to say that i have seen a counselor -- it was in the months after i had moved to washington, suddenly had a boyfriend, came out to most of my friends, was unemployed for a few months, had my boyfriend leave me, and then had to deal with being gay and alone and in a new city where i didn't know many people. it was a very, very hard time -- and i can't thank my counselor enough. i didn't have enough money to go to a psychiatrist, so i had to make use of the State of VA Health and Family Services. this is also a reason why i'm fine with paying taxes -- because of state taxes, i was able to visit someone on a sliding scale, and it improved my life immeasurably. trust me, tax dollars can and do work.
anyway, i saw this person 5 times for an hour, and having someone who's job it is to listen to you is tremendously helpful, and it's not something that a friend can necessarily do because, 1) they are probably not trained, and 2) i don't care how close a friend, there's always something emotionally at risk. an objective third party is a great way to get yourself to be honest, since you have little to lose.
my counselor enabled me to talk through my problems, to understand them better, to label what it was that was going on, and through understanding and labeling you are better able to seize control of all the forces you can and cannot control. i basically learned that i value other people's opinions of me too much, that i defined myself not in accordance with who i am or what i value, but in how i believe i am perceived by other people. while it seems obvious in retrospect -- growing up in an affluent town where children are valued most for their resumes, SAT scores, athletic accomplishments, and college acceptances -- it was a major insight for me, and pretty much empowered me to begin to take control of my life back after being shaken to my core by coming to terms with being gay.
all i needed was 5 hours, and i've been immeasurably happy ever since, and haven't needed therapy since. i've never taken meds, and never needed to.
psychoanalysis, blah. talk therapy,
.
and thank you, any virginians out there, who pay your taxes. you've helped me, and i appreciate it.