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Old 10-18-2005, 12:40 PM   #16
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Originally posted by indra
Does anyone actually enjoy their prom? No one I know admits to actually enjoying it.

I didn't bother go to mine. I think I went out to a casual dinner and saw a movie instead. I figured the food and entertainment were far better, and it didn't cost nearly as much. And these were in the days when kids considered it a huge deal if they could borrow their parents car to go to prom (which was generally held at the high school gym).
i went to my prom, had a nice stretch limo, didn't drink until after it was over, and i did get laid.

i vey much enjoyed it.
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Old 10-18-2005, 12:46 PM   #17
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to Headache and Bonochick's posts on the first page. I don't agree with this principal's actions, because I don't think it's fair to punish all kids for the actions of some. I shouldn't have to miss out on a fun evening because some kids went off and acted goofy.

*Went to her junior and senior proms and had a blast at both* And no drugs, alcohol, or sex was involved in my evenings, either (not meaning to sound all uppity with this or whatever).

Angela
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Old 10-18-2005, 12:51 PM   #18
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Didn't go to my 'prom'/debs as I was too young but did go to a few similar events at university. And yeah, I had a few beers...shoot me.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:01 PM   #19
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Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar
Prom is just a dance. A celebration of ending one's high school career. I agree with Irvine that the myth has gotten way out of control. But the prom itself is not the problem and shouldn't be where the principle should have taken a stand.

Do we eliminate graduation ceremonies next?
Isn't that a tad dramatic? The graduation ceremony is the celebration of one's high school "career" - not the prom.

A principal should not be taking the time to police, enforce standards or worry about a dance (that has grown to such an extreme). I can't see the continuation of a prom as a priority.

Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:05 PM   #20
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Originally posted by nbcrusader
Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.
That's gonna happen no matter what in life, though. If it doesn't happen with prom, it's gonna happen with something else down the road.

I wasn't that big on the cost of everything for prom...I didn't have a limo, wore the same dress both years in a row, none of that huge fancy stuff, and that honestly suited me just fine .

Angela
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:12 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.

Cost doesn't determine how much fun a person has. Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowski had fun at their prom work on a picnic table outside the gym in sweats.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:12 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader


Isn't that a tad dramatic? The graduation ceremony is the celebration of one's high school "career" - not the prom.
Well come on. Sitting in a robe listening to someone give a speech about how this is the first day of the rest of their lives or getting dressed up and dancing. Now which one sounds like a celebration to a 17 year old?

Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader

A principal should not be taking the time to police, enforce standards or worry about a dance (that has grown to such an extreme). I can't see the continuation of a prom as a priority.
But it's not the dance that's grown to an extreme.
Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader

Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.
Well now that you've cancelled the dance, and put it in the hands of the parents you are making this problem worse.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:19 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
Isn't that a tad dramatic? The graduation ceremony is the celebration of one's high school "career" - not the prom.


many view the prom as a celebration of one's high school social life -- the last big night out with the friends before everyone disperses to their respective colleges, or employment, perhaps all across the country.

i think that can be done without prom, but i think there is something to be said for the school to celebrate the class apart from academics. school is much more than simply what goes on in the classroom; most schools offer sports, clubs, etc., in the acknowledgement that they are concerned with the lives of teenagers beyond how well they do on tests.


[q]A principal should not be taking the time to police, enforce standards or worry about a dance (that has grown to such an extreme). I can't see the continuation of a prom as a priority.[/q]

so why do anything? in the DC area, there have been 2-3 stabbings at high school football games. these were unrelated to athletic rivalries and extentions of gang retaliations that extend far beyond the school. is the solution to ban football?


Quote:
Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.

this is where i find the most compelling argument, but i'm not sure what one does about this. parents, particularly suburban parents in towns like the one i grew up in, are notorious for competing with other parents through their children. most do it in slightly subtler ways -- the casual mentioning of a child's grades, SAT scores, athletic accomplishments, acceptance into competitive colleges, etc., all while done on the soccer field on a saturday in october. actually, i'd find anyone who chose to compete through the grotesque display of wealth uncouth and laughable -- but the competitive instinct is still there, this builds into a child's expectations, and it becomes a sick little message: "mommy, if you really loved me you'd use me as a competitive wedge."

however, i just don't see the cancellation of the prom achieving much beyond engendering resentment with the students because the principal has subsequently labled them all "bad apples" -- if you treat teenagers like idiots and delinquents, then that's how they will act. putting myself into my shoes of 10 years ago, if this had happened at high school, i would have started a riot. well, not quite, but take away prom? to punish everyone because of the actions of a few? i can't think of a better way to piss off teenagers and to subsequently create a new standard of negative behavior -- "we are cancelling the prom because we know you can't behave" -- that would make me *more* likely to drink, spend money, whatever, at the prom than less.

i think there are ways of spinning a prom into something more positive -- keeping the essence of the prom, a celebration of high school friendships, while removing it's more grotesque elements.

how? well ... this is what PTA's are for.

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Old 10-18-2005, 01:25 PM   #24
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Originally posted by BonoVoxSupastar
Well now that you've cancelled the dance, and put it in the hands of the parents you are making this problem worse.
If parents are the problem, the school sponsoring a prom is not going to make it any better. It doesn't even the playing field or reduce the illegal behavior.

I realize the decision will create an uproar. But that is related to the student's sense of entitlement.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:27 PM   #25
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I don't usually tend towards the 'authoritarian' but I agree with NBC that the principal's decision should be respected...at the end of the day, whatever about PTA's, etc, final authority surely has to rest somewhere.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:45 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by indra
Does anyone actually enjoy their prom? No one I know admits to actually enjoying it.
My prom was HORRIBLE!!! But it was so bad that it makes for great storytelling...so I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

Afterwards, my friend's dad allowed us to have a party at his place in the woods...and, yes, we did drink. But he hid all of our car keys from us and kept an eye on us. I'm not saying that makes what we did right, but at least we tried to be as responsible as possible. So...that party was fun! But prior to that...what a night.

I also didn't go nuts with spending a ton of (my dad's) money. I rocked a $40 dress and drove my '89 Beretta.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:48 PM   #27
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Originally posted by nbcrusader
I realize the decision will create an uproar. But that is related to the student's sense of entitlement.


american culture has instilled the entitlement to a prom.

it's the excess that surrounds the prom that is the issue.

also, this isn't a new phenomenon. i remember a story from when i was in 8th grade -- this would have been 1992. i was told that there used to be an end of the year dance to celebrate the passage from 8th grade to high school. they wound up cancelling the dance some 10 years before i was in jr. high when students -- keep in mind these are 14 year olds -- started showing up to the dance in limos. instead, they turned the dance into what became known as 8th Grade Day -- the school took over a local ... i don't know what it's officially called, but it had lots of food, swimming pools, a small lake to paddle boats, volley ball courts, tennis courts, basketball courts, etc. and it was lots of fun.

why can't prom morph into something where money won't help you out as much?

also, and correct me if i'm wrong, but it's the kids who spend the most who are the most ridiculed by everyone else. if some kids went on a booze cruise in the hamptons after my prom, we would have laughed at them for being the shallow idiots with cash-for-brains that they were.
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Old 10-18-2005, 01:49 PM   #28
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also, doesn't much of this tie into the silly drinking age of 21 in the US?

yes, you can drive a car and get drafted and get your limbs blown of for some rich asshole's stupid grudge revenge fantasy in Iraq, but you can't have a beer.
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Old 10-18-2005, 02:12 PM   #29
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I am a bit shocked by the responses here.

I fully disagree with what this man thinks is his right to do.

These families choose to pay for their children to go to private school, and when it comes time for the kids to celebrate finishing high school, the school, more specifically the Principal, has decided to take that away from them.

Forget for a second the indulgence that some children or parents may partake in during this time, what about those well-behaved, and educationally deserving students who have been looking forward to their prom.

What right does this adult, who most likely did not go to a prom, have to take one of the few high school celebrations these kids have away from them?

If I were a parent, I would not only be outraged, I would call for this man's resignation.

How dare he decide how my child will celebrate his accomplishments after I have paid $6,000 a year for him (or her, of course) to attend the school.

Maybe this is a bit extreme, but to group all the children together with the 'bad seeds' is entirely wrong, and truly unfair. I read a quote from one of the parents who basically said it was unfair for the Principal to group all the children together with those who drink, or do drugs - they were not happy.

Now there are over 40 children who have raised money to rent a beach house after the prom to celebrate and now this man (whom these children will only know for 24 hours after their now cancelled prom) has ruined their plans.

The real question is - why?

This guy does not like what the prom represents?

Is that his call?

Is he wiser, healthier, a better person because he does not like the prom? In all respects the prom will not even effect him, however when these kids look back at their high school experience, they will remember that he was the douchbag who cancelled their prom.

I am sure he is one class act.

I do not see how these kids are going to be better off after having this taken away from them. I would guess they would be more bitter and hostile.

Anyway - I am not sure why I am so heated about this, I am just so tired of people thinking they know better than some of our youth.

I truly hope the parents of that class throw a huge bash for these kids, and basically give them everything they want aside from some lame-ass dance on school grounds.





















That, and I hope they toilet-paper that goddamned school!!!!

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Old 10-18-2005, 02:27 PM   #30
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The real question is - why?

This guy does not like what the prom represents?

Is that his call?

Is he wiser, healthier, a better person because he does not like the prom? In all respects the prom will not even effect him, however when these kids look back at their high school experience, they will remember that he was the douchbag who cancelled their prom.


yes, this does have a "Footloose" quality to it, doesn't it?

Dancing is not a crime!!!
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