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Old 05-24-2008, 10:13 AM   #16
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if it is a safety issue, then i don't see why not. You can worship god anywhere, they could have the priest come to the house to hold a private sermon later or something?

poor parents, having to sit on thier child because it calms him down, and bind his handa and feet, how exhausting for them
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Old 05-24-2008, 12:30 PM   #17
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Could the Priest not organise for a carer to sit with the child and parents to assist? Why offer to hold a prayer session at their home? There really has to be a better way for everyone.
The Catholic Church denied communion to a girl with severe wheat allergies, and refused to allow any substitutes like a rice wafer (you know, because Jesus was 100% God, 100% man, and apparently 100% whole wheat too).

Frankly, I'm not entirely sure that the institution is interested in making special exceptions for those who don't fit in.
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Old 05-24-2008, 05:00 PM   #18
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Unfortunately, this issue is clouded by not only bias against churches in general, and political correctness in regards to autism. Until an expert in autism makes some kind of judgement on the safety of letting the boy go to the church, it's going to stay "he said, she said."
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Old 05-24-2008, 05:48 PM   #19
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Clearly this child is causing distress amongst the congregation and I don't have issues with the Priest addressing that, its the manner in which its being dealt with that troubles me . . . harks back to the dark ages. Could the Priest not organise for a carer to sit with the child and parents to assist? Why offer to hold a prayer session at their home? There really has to be a better way for everyone.
I'm not sure it's so far out of line. When I was younger, I often sat in the church nursery. One Sunday we kept having babies and toddlers start screaming and were finding bite marks and pinch marks on them. After a while we figured out it was the little 3 year old girl, hitting, pinching, and biting other babies. She was biting newborn infants and making bruises, drawing blood. The nursery leader called the parents out of church and told them their child was indefinitely excused from church. The intention was never to make the parents feel like criminals or punish them, but when one child is consistently hurting others, it's just not fair. Not to mention our litigious culture. That's a big liability, and the kid we were dealing with was still small enough to be carried, not over 6 feet...

I guess for me I have to look at it from the general perspective of the safety of all the children. Yes the child is autistic and thus he's not going to behave like the others, but I don't think the church owes it to the parents to figure out the solution. If the kid does those things in church, I'm guessing he does them at school and other public places.
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Old 05-25-2008, 02:21 AM   #20
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but all I meant was that there has to be a more humane way of dealing with this than trying to criminalise his behaviour which seems like a dangerous precedent to set.
Like what? The kid is endangering the other church members and his parents can't (or won't) stop him.


When he's 18 and hurting people, his behavior will be criminal. Then what?
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Old 05-25-2008, 03:08 PM   #21
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I just re-read the original post and seems my wires were way crossed - the restraining order is against the parents and not the child (doh) so I shall retreat now to lick my mixed up wounds.

^^martha - you're right - maybe I'm being a bleeding heart on this one - if the child wasn't autistic the parents would not have been given any leeway at all - I don't have the answers about how it could be better handled but I would hope, for all concerned (child, parents, parishioners, priest) that it could be resolved with understanding (from all parties) and empathy.
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:10 PM   #22
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I would hope, for all concerned (child, parents, parishioners, priest) that it could be resolved with understanding (from all parties) and empathy.
I think we can agree on this.
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:53 PM   #23
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If he was hitting other parishioners then I understand. I'm autistic myself.
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:54 PM   #24
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I just re-read the original post and seems my wires were way crossed - the restraining order is against the parents and not the child (doh) so I shall retreat now to lick my mixed up wounds.

^^martha - you're right - maybe I'm being a bleeding heart on this one - if the child wasn't autistic the parents would not have been given any leeway at all - I don't have the answers about how it could be better handled but I would hope, for all concerned (child, parents, parishioners, priest) that it could be resolved with understanding (from all parties) and empathy.
Yeah, I agree.
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Old 05-26-2008, 11:50 PM   #25
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I think we can agree on this.
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Old 05-29-2008, 04:09 PM   #26
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Speaking from a personal point of view, young Adam, how lucky you are, I had to wait until I was 16 until I plucked up the courage to tell my devoted Mother, I couldn't stand the bloody church, & have never set foot in the place since, & I don't miss it 1 little bit!!!!!
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